Having better penis performances

A good maintenance culture is a prerequisite for virtually all important things in life. When a man cultivates good penis maintenance culture, high percentage of incomparable penis performance is predictable. It’s true that man’s sexual validity depends very much on how good his penis performance is and how lasting the penis life-span can be. When a man knows how to keep penis performing at the highest level, he can satisfy his wife at any time without dread of the unknown or apprehension of underperformance. Obviously, man has to know how to keep his penis serviceable hard 80 per cent of the time. A problematic penis is generally not very pleasurable during sex and gives you little chance of making your wife climax. Inasmuch as men reach their sexual peak at 18, and women reach theirs at 28, peak hormones with poor maintenance don’t mean peak sexual performance.

What are the ways of better penis performance? you may wonder. Well, inasmuch as sex isn’t a race of life, it goes a long way to define a man. So, start by massaging the penis for increase, adequate blood circulation, because your penis depends on good blood circulation in order to become fully effective. As the vessels that transport the blood to your sexual organs are fairly small in size, they can become less efficient as the years pass and they accumulate tiny plaques which restrict blood flow. But with a successful penis massage, plaques in your blood vessels can be dispersed and expand the capillaries that cause your penis to become erect. This allows you to maintain harder erections for longer periods of time and if done properly, it can actually increase your girth. This massage is simply done by robbing the base of the penis regularly (this is not masturbation, for effective guide and result, see a sex therapist).

Walk more. Researchers found that men who walked just two miles a day had half the rate of erection problems than sedentary men. Deposits that clog or stiffen penile arteries can kill an erection faster than men tend to think of their arteries as simple pipes that can become clogged, but there’s a lot more going on than that.

The linings of those blood vessels are very biologically active areas where chemicals are being made and released into the bloodstream. The more you exercise, the healthier, cleaner, and more flexible those linings become.

Funny as it may sound, learning how to yawn regularly is a good penis maintenance habit. As far as your body is concerned, yawning and getting an erection is practically the same thing. They’re both controlled by a chemical called nitric oxide. Released in the brain, it can either travel to the neurons that control mouth opening and breathing, or go down the spinal cord to the blood vessels that feed the penis. Sometimes it does both; that’s why a big yawn can cause a tremour down. It gives you a good hard-on and healthy penis. So yawn and breathe deeply in the mornings. It helps increase the oxygen in your blood flow and also calms you down when you’re stressed.

Make it a habit to fall asleep after the last thrust, because your penis needs as much shut-eye as it can get. Did you know that every night while you sleep, you have between three and five hour-long erections? You probably noticed this phenomenon the last time you had to pee at 4am. Those erections are not there just to make sex and life interesting for you and your wife. They work to recharge your penis—keeping it well-nourished with oxygenated blood. Theoretically, the more nocturnal erections you have, the more flexible your erectile tissue will become and that may help keep the penis strong as the years wear on. This also makes the testicle size bigger and increase testes performance by over 30 per cent. In fact, most men start to notice their testicles feeling pleasantly heavier and fuller after few weeks of this sleep habit. The testicles are usually bigger and get more attention from your wife and of course, ejaculation volume is amazing. According to a recent research, the sperm concentrations in men decreased by almost one-third because their testicles are 25 per cent smaller than that of their great grandfathers due to the high level of restlessness, stress and lack of restful sleep and the motility of those sperm (which is their ability to swim to the egg) has dropped by 50 per cent. And whether you believe it or not, the female folks are subconsciously much more attracted to men with bigger, healthier packages and higher testosterone levels and less attracted to men with poorly balanced hormones and smaller packages.

Practice keeping an erection longer by fighting boredom. When you’re not enthusiastic about your life or your sex life, it would be a miracle if you can actually have a hard erection!

Take time, don’t rush in. This is something most husbands don’t know and don’t care to know. Foreplay always helps men hold on longer. You may think it’s pointless, but by indulging in foreplay for 15 minutes before penetration, the penis gets more time to warm itself up for the act. Always spend more time on foreplay. By getting straight into the act immediately, the excitement and sexual tension may build up too fast which could end up overexciting you and leading to faster ejaculation. Just don’t think about your erection until you have to penetrate her. And when it’s time, you can rest assured that the penis will be over ready.

Don’t be overexcited; overexcitement increases adrenaline which can make you feel weak and jittery. And also don’t be afraid of losing an erection; once in a while, everybody does. This is actually the biggest reason why so many men suffer from a limp erection. Psychological damage can do more harm than physical damage. Change positions but not too often in bed, you may have heard that changing positions can be more fun. But by doing that, you’ll end up worrying too much about whether your member will continue to stay erect during each penetration and end up feeling more stressed, you’d also end up ejaculating faster because the change in pace makes you more aroused. Instead, try new sex positions. Some sex positions will stimulate you faster and make you orgasm really fast, while some positions can help you last a lot longer. The missionary position is a safe one, but a few unconventional positions may just help you better. But you’ll never know what works until you try.

Don’t think only about penetration. Lovemaking isn’t all about putting it in. If you want to get it hard and keep it hard, you need to learn to understand that lovemaking isn’t just about the act of penetration. When you pay all the attention on penetration, it’s inevitable that you’ll end up putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Take time to please her in other ways and you’ll see how relaxed and sensual sex really can be. Stop worrying about the last time. Well, yeah, you had a hard time having a hard on the last time. But guess what, this is not last time. You can’t expect sex to feel awesome every time. And when you do have a dry spell, don’t let that bother you. Just indulge in foreplay, have fun and stop thinking about what went wrong the last time.

Use condom wisely. Condoms can have a tight grip around your member and it can definitely affect your performance if you’re not comfortable with it. Use thinner condoms if you must.

To be continued next week…..

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Safe cycle system

I do not want to have any of the family planning methods. Virtually all had failed but my best friends suggested the safe cycle system. What is your take?

Tobilola Toibu

There is no safe cycle where you can have unprotected sex without risking unwanted pregnancy. Some may say that having unprotected sex during their periods will ensure that they do not get pregnant. While the chances are definitely lower, yes, you might want to still look for a better and easier one like wearing a condom in order to be safe to some extent.

How to jumpstart sex

Our marriage has undergone some challenges that have affected our lovemaking. It was close to zero but life is back to normal now but we don’t know where to start a good sex life from. What do you suggest? I think I should make the best move as a man. She loves sex a lot and I want her to respond the way she used to before now.

The man of the house

Take sex out of the bedroom and try and explore new regions. You could just jumpstart it but not first in the bedroom. The same old place is too conducive to the same old patterns. Explore some new erogenous areas: the kitchen or the bathroom. Husband, I know you are familiar with her nipples and vagina. Good. Now spend some time on the back of her neck. It’s a brave new world of nerve endings, so gently caressing and kissing are all that’s needed. Lavish praise on the lilies and you’ll be invited back to the garden. So concentrate on a favourite body part and talk about how beautiful she is. Make her feel sexy by thinking and saying she’s sexy; nothing jumpstarts her like deeper touch. So put one pillow under her hips and another under your chest. It’s easier for her to then adjust her knees and legs. Rest your chin on your fist, and use a finger to put pressure on the bottom of her vagina to heighten her sensation.

Is it easier to get a urinary tract infection [UTI] via sex in the missionary position?

I get this burning sensation and itchy feeling each time I have sex with my husband especially when we practise missionary position.

Mrs Opakile Bunmi

No. A urinary tract infection [UTI] happens when bacteria that may be present near your vaginal opening or the tip of the head of your husband’s penis migrates up the urethra to the bladder. Any type of intercourse can propel these bacteria into your urethra, triggering the abdominal pain, burning sensation while urinating and constant urge to urinate.

Before you have sex, reduce the UTI odds by gently washing your vagina zone with mild soap and water, which will reduce the amount of bacteria outside your vaginal opening. And also wash your husband’s penis, then urinate immediately after sex.

BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

When is sex ideal in pregnancy?

Pregnant women and their husbands often wonder if it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy. Will it result in miscarriage? Will it harm the unborn baby? Are there sex positions to avoid? These and many more questions are going on in the hearts of many couples most especially those that have waited so long for pregnancy. It may surprise you to know that when a woman’s pregnancy is normal, sex is a natural, normal part of pregnancy. Deep penis penetration won’t harm the baby, who is protected by the woman’s abdomen and the uterus’ muscular walls. As a matter of fact, the baby is also cushioned by the amniotic sac’s fluid.

More also, the contractions of orgasm some women experience while they climax are not the same as labour contractions. Although as a general safety precaution, it may be advisable for some women to avoid sex in the final weeks of pregnancy, because some hormones in the semen of the man called prostaglandins can stimulate contractions. One exception may be for women who are overdue and want to induce labour. This is because some doctors believe that prostaglandins in the man’s semen actually induce labour in a full-term or past-due pregnancy, since the gel used to “ripen” the cervix and induce labour also contains prostaglandins. But other doctors believe this semen/labour connection is only theoretical and that having sex doesn’t trigger labour.

However, it is safer not to have sex if the woman is susceptible to high-risk pregnancy or has a history of past miscarriages. There should be caution too when she is at risk of preterm labour, this is a contraction before 37 weeks of pregnancy. The woman should be careful too if she has vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping without a known cause, or when she notices that her amniotic sac is leaking fluid. When scan reveals that the woman is expecting twins, triplets, or other “multiples,” she should exercise restraints.

Keep in mind, if your doctor says “no sex,” that may include anything that involves orgasm or sexual arousal, not just intercourse.

Women have different experiences when they are pregnant, including how they feel about sex. For some, desire fades during pregnancy. Other women feel more deeply connected to their sexuality and more aroused when they’re pregnant.

During pregnancy, it’s normal for sexual desire to come and go as the pregnant woman’s body changes. She may feel self-conscious, happy and in high spirit as her belly grows. Some women actually look and may feel sexier with larger, fuller pointed breasts. And many just want sex from the beginning of the pregnancy till the end. Desire differs absolutely, therefore it is expedient for wives to tell their husbands what they are feeling, what they want and what will work for them. Many times, there may be need for both partners to plan out comfortable, stimulating and arousal positions, especially later in pregnancy.

I usually tell expectant mothers to avoid lying flat on their backs in the “missionary position” for sex after the fourth month of pregnancy. That way, she can avoid the weight of the growing baby constricting major blood vessels; this is very important. One of the best ways to make sex more comfortable is to try lying sideways together or the wife might try positioning herself upright or sitting on top of her husband’s laps facing him, or sitting on his tummy backing him.

The next question is how about sex after delivery; when, how soon and how long? Actually, the first six weeks after delivery are called the postpartum period. Sex during this time may be the last thing on the mind of the new mother. As a matter of fact, the sexual desire of many new mothers may decrease because of the healing from an episiotomy, the incision or cutting received during normal vaginal delivery, or healing from abdominal incisions after caesarean birth. Some couples stay off sex just because of the normal postpartum bleeding four to six weeks after birth. Many couples even stay off sex for as long as one year. Many new mothers are too tired for sex because of the fatigue after pregnancy and the birthing process coupled with the demands of the new-born.

The changing hormone levels is also a major sex piss off. Sex is a no no for some mothers because of the sore breasts from breastfeeding, or simple emotional issues, such as postpartum blues, anxiety over parenting, or relationship issues in the marriage. Whatever the case maybe, sexual relationship/intercourse is generally safe after incisions have fully healed. This healing usually takes several weeks.

I also advise couples to consult their personal or family doctors for their opinion and recommendations. Most doctors will ask new mothers to wait for at least six weeks after delivery before intercourse, while some will tell you to start having sex two weeks after delivery, adding that sex itself does a lot of healing to episiotomy or caesarean section. But it is equally very important for the mother to be emotionally ready, physically fit and heartily comfortable, and wholesomely relaxed given the realities and stress of early parenthood. It is also essential for couples to be very patient with each other. In many homes, it can take up to a year for couples to resume normal sex life just because of the new arrival.

Questions and Answers

My husband’s big penis makes me bleed from anus

I notice that each time we make love, I always bleed and itch from my anus when I stand up or visit the toilet immediately. This started when I gave birth to my last child two years ago at the age of 48. I have applied local and orthodox medicine all to no avail. What can I do? Although my husband’s penis is quite big, we mostly practise missionary position sex and nothing else. Is this as a result of his large penis? I need a way out.

Mariam Funsho

Your case may be that of hemorrhoids that you are not aware of. Because of your last pregnancy, you may have over-strained the pelvic area during your labour time, or you may have had a big baby or because you are close to 50 years now. The large penis of your husband may not be the cause, although at erection, it will definitely be larger but rather the pressure during deep thrusting in and out may stimulate increase blood flow to that area leading to breaking of some of the blood veins or arteries. Every individual has clumps of veins in and around the anus and the lower rectum can stretch and swell with pressure. When these veins get swollen or bulge, they are called hemorrhoids. They can be inside or just on the outside. They’re usually not serious, but can sometimes hurt, itch, or bleed. One of the most common signs of hemorrhoids is painless bleeding — usually when you go to the bathroom. You might notice a little blood on the toilet paper or in the bowl. You may also have itching, pain, or tiny bulges around your anus.

Because there can be many reasons for these symptoms, see your doctor as soon as you notice any of them. That way, you can rule out other problem. The exact cause of hemorrhoids is not known but you could have them if you get constipated or have diarrhoea often, or strain to lift heavy objects or if you spend a lot of time in the toilet. Hemorrhoids are also more common as you get older and if you are overweight when pregnant or if your parents had them, you may get them, too.

Veins inside your rectum can grow large or swell. Even if they bleed, internal hemorrhoids usually don’t hurt. Sometimes they can swell and stick out just outside your body. This is called a prolapsed hemorrhoid and can be painful or itch. Hemorrhoids can form just underneath the skin near your anus. These can also itch and hurt. They might bleed. What you eat can help prevent hemorrhoids or at least ease symptoms, such as high-fibre foods to soften your stool. Try to get more leafy vegetables, fresh fruits, beans, and whole-grain cereals; then make sure you drink lots of water to help prevent constipation and to make it easier to go to the toilet. Try the special “sitz baths” technique; this can be placed directly in your toilet seat. Hemorrhoids aren’t a rare, strange condition. Men and women alike have them. It’s only when they swell and cause problems that you realise they are there. About half of the people bleed, have pain, or other symptoms by the time they turn 50. Women may have them during pregnancy.

Can I suck the penis of a cancer patient?

My husband is undergoing chemotherapy treatment for prostate gland cancer. He is at the same time insisting I use my mouth on his penis but I feel it is not safe. What if I accidentally taste the cancer drug or cancer cell in his semen?

Cecilia Appiah

Even though the drugs that are used during chemotherapy are not excreted in semen, that could be dangerous. It is not safe to use your mouth on his penis while he is undergoing chemotherapy but using a condom on his penis might bail you out if he is insisting.

What is male multiple orgasm without ejaculation?

Most of my friends boast of multiple ejaculations without orgasm, what is this, can you explain?

Kurume Rendufu

Male multiple orgasms without ejaculation may be difficult to verify and may depend on the man’s state of orgasm while orgasm is a state of sexual arousal. Male multiple orgasms without ejaculation occur when the valve on the prostate that switches on and off before urination and ejaculation is being controlled by the PC muscles. The PC muscle stops this valve from opening, allowing an orgasm without ejaculation. Men who report multiple orgasms without ejaculation are able to achieve orgasm- states before they hit the point of ejaculatory no-return. And such men report that strengthening the PC muscles through Kegel exercises allows them to get closer to this “point of inevitability” without cresting the mountaintop of ejaculation and descending into the gentle valley of the flaccid and the “refractory” period, where the penis is temporarily unresponsive to sexual stimulation.

BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

Sex the most enjoyable activities for married couples.

We cannot deny that having sex or making love is one of the most enjoyable activities for married couples. Sex not only increases marital harmony but improves overall health. Many studies have confirmed that sex can burn enough calories, improve heart health, reduces stress and be very gratifying. Having sex is a healthy activity, but you need to know that it can also lead to untimely death if not properly controlled. Death can occur during sex for a number of reasons, generally because of the physical exertion and strain of the activity, or some underlying medical condition. As beneficiary as sex maybe, it is also associated with variety of deadly risks.

Sudden deaths [SD] during sex account for approximately 0.9 per cent of all sudden deaths. Numerous notable cases of individuals dying during or from sex have been recorded and reported. For example, Nelson Rockefeller, who was a former Vice-President of the United States died of a heart attack during sex. Last king of the Huns in Europe, Atilla, was also recorded in history of being killed by a heart rendering deadly orgasm.

Sudden death (SD) as a result of sex has been linked to heart and heart related reasons. Majority of deaths due to bad heart such as arteriosclerosis, heart attack, stroke and some other organic condition has also been a reason for erectile dysfunction not well managed or ignored.

Even, death could result from routine sexual activities. For instance, an increasing percentage of death has been reported as a result of garage sex. It is not a bad idea to have variety of places and positions for creative sex but the engine of the car must not be left running, because when you run the engine of a car in a closed garage and you are not in a hurry to rush sex, there is a possibility of dying from inhaling carbon monoxide poison. For couples who like to have sex in the car, the gas is a threat, especially if you let the car idle, turn on the AC and because the car is in a closed state, better still do a quick one if you must.

Variety of sexual perversion has also become one of the most common causes of sudden death during sex. We recognised that sex is one of the primary needs of man, it is one of the major reasons that men build commitment in marriage. If executed properly, sex can be so beautiful and enjoyed by the couple. However, when a partner wants sex in a very strange manner, the practice of this may lead to sudden death. Sex that is done after torturing the other couple has been claimed to be a form of sexual fantasy where some people only feel aroused by the satisfaction of seeing their partner in torment. There are also people who actually enjoy sex when their partner’s body is sprinkled with hot wax; many people died while doing this. High percentage of sudden death by sex has been recorded with some defective mindset. There are fellows who think that until they have sex with animals, they might not be horny. These people argue that they easily get aroused and climax because of the variety of the genitalia of the animals. What makes them horny is the irregularity in shape, size, colour and look but it is the same irregularity that leads to sudden toxic death. The percentage of sudden death in hotels, guest houses, inns, lodging houses, hidden places are as a result of illicit sex affairs between a married man and married woman. The untimely deaths aside from health condition have mystical or psychic undertone.

One of the likely causes of sudden death during sex is having sex during menstruation. As a matter of fact, it can be detrimental to the health of both couples. During menstruation, vaginal wall will experience inflammation or swelling of the body’s natural processes. When inflammation occurs, the uterine lining will decay which coincides with the release of menstrual blood. The blood is a medium that has the potential to develop the germs and bacteria that can cause infection. Usually, the cervix opens up a bit and the opening of the cervix most times facilitates entry of germs and bacteria to the uterus and these germs and bacteria even spread to the pelvic cavity. Sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, hepatitis among others are some of the health risks that can result from having sex while menstruating. If the potential partner is promiscuous, it may lead to sudden death as a result of sexual activities. Deep hard movement of the penis during sexual intercourse in the menstrual period may also be a trigger of an air bubble into an open vein. If the embolism or air bubble finds its way into the blood vessels, it will result in clogged arteries and may lead to sudden death. Anal sex is another cause of sudden death due to sexual activities. In most cases, anal sex victims usually bleed and when the thrusting in and out is too vigorous, they might likely bleed out of every pore in the body. The lymph nodes break down and bleeding becomes uncontrollable.

Sex during a medically pinned down pregnancy is another reason for sudden death. Pregnancy expands the blood vessels in the woman’s pelvis. When a pregnancy is classified as a medically sensitive case, sex should be avoided. Women who have sex shortly after giving birth could put their lives at risk. According to research, women who are in their 20s and have had several children may likely die because they had sex too soon after giving birth. Even with history of normal delivery, they may collapse while having sex and die due to air bubbles or embolisms being introduced into the body and travelling up to the heart and brain. This is because the blood vessels in a woman’s pelvic area widened during pregnancy and takes around three weeks to readjust after birth. The researchers said it was more common for women to have air embolisms if they had deep penetrative sex with their knees against their chest. This is because the uterus would be above the right wall of the heart, increasing air pressure on the heart. Other causes of death by air embolism during or after birth include induced abortion, oral sex and forceps delivery.

Heart attack has been a major cause of sudden death during or after sexual activities. Middle-aged men with heart problems are much more likely to die during sexual intercourse. A 28-year-old woman died after several rounds of sex with a male companion in a hotel. Reports have it that the pair were regular guests of the hotel where the incident happened few days ago. During investigation, it was discovered that the lady had a heart condition she ignored and excess alcohol was found in her blood stream. People who are under the influence of alcohol will feel the incredible pleasure when having sex while drunk but it could be a sudden death signal. So many people that engage in use of alcohol have this belief that with excessive use of alcohol, they are likely going to prolong the sexual act but that can lead to sudden death if such individuals have some underlying conditions that are not detected. It is healthier to do away with alcohol.

Sexual orgasm through intercourse or masturbation can increase heart rate and blood pressure. For people who have problems with hypertension or a weak heart, it can trigger sudden death. The popular spell cast of ‘magun’ has been a considerable reason for sudden death during sexual activities in Africa.

Variety of techniques and places aimed at addressing the extreme boredom of having sex is okay. However, certain risky places such as height on a roof, the window stand of a room, tiled slippery bathroom, tip of a chipped bathtub, and so on are not only very dangerous but a sudden death arena.

Every and all addictive anal sex activities lead to sudden death. Medically, the anus has a lot of walls that are thinner because it is an extension of the large intestine. Vigorous sexual activity does not only over- extend this area, it also tears the skin and causes severe bleeding because the anus is not as thick as the walls of the vagina that is prepared to copulate.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

How can I delay ejaculation?

Thank God for your educative articles; they are really adding spice to our sex life. Firstly, my wife urinates explosively sometimes after orgasmic sex. She barely makes it to the bathroom before losing control and urinating, sometimes she messes up her body. Is it normal?

Secondly, I usually lose control and ejaculate when my wife is close to her second orgasm and I can feel her vagina muscles contracting again. I desire to hold on till her second orgasm comes, so that we can come together. Any suggestion?

Mr. Rolland Ibukwe

Kegel exercise or pelvic floor exercise for five minutes, two or three times daily, is best for both of you. You will likely see significant improvement in your ability to control till her second orgasm.

In men, inability to hold on ejaculation longer may sometimes be caused by a weak urethra. Kegel exercises will completely help regain bladder control which will invariably help to sustain and delay ejaculation. It will also help to control the flow of urine of your wife. Kegels are easy to do, once you know which muscles to target. One of the easiest ways for both of you to locate your muscles is during urination. Here’s how: Halfway through urination, try to stop or slow down the flow of urine. Don’t tense the muscles in your buttocks, legs, or abdomen, and don’t hold your breath. When you can slow or stop the flow of urine, you’ve successfully located these muscles. Contract these muscles for a slow count of five. Release the muscles to a slow count of five. Repeat 10 times. Do a set of 10 Kegels daily, three times a day. When you’re first starting, it may be easier to do Kegel exercises lying down for men and sitting on the toilet W.C. for women, so your muscles aren’t fighting against gravity. It may also be easier to contract the muscles for just two or three seconds at first. After a few weeks, increase the time until eventually you’re contracting the muscles for a slow five or 10 seconds, and do the exercises standing up. That helps puts more weight on the muscles, boosting the workout level and improving the control. Remember not to tense your buttock, legs, or stomach muscles while you’re doing Kegels.

How long does a woman usually take to reach orgasm during sex?

10, 20 minutes or thereabout. Women generally need longer time to have an orgasm than men, who take about seven to 14 minutes. These are just average durations anyway. You may be faster or slower, and it can be different from one time to the next.

Is it true that men can’t have an orgasm unless they ejaculate?

Paulina Seth

No, it is not true. Having an orgasm and ejaculating are two different things. They usually happen together. For many men, a powerful ejaculation is the best part of an orgasm. Other men keep feeling the orgasm well after they release semen. After age 40, a man may ejaculate less, but he can still have multiple orgasms.

Is it true?

I am close to 50 years and I still experience toilet disease. My friend suggests I should eat a lot of yogurt and douche regularly to prevent this.

Loli Ejodunmu

Yeast infections is popularly called toilet disease in women. If at the age of 50 or thereabout you still experience this, it is in your best interest to see the doctor. It may be an underlying reason of some other infections. Women could still get yeast infections after menopause begins. This is because menopause causes hormonal changes, which can affect the balance of yeast or bacteria in the vagina and lead to a yeast infection. Correct Answer: False

Most doctors recommend that women should not douche at all. Douching changes the acidity level of the PH balance of the vagina, so it is safer to only wash the outer folds of the vagina with warm water and mild soap. Correct Answer: All of the above

You can reduce your chances of getting a yeast infection by wearing cotton panties, which are cooler than synthetic panties and won’t trap sweat; avoiding douches and feminine sprays, which can be irritating; changing tampons or pads often during your period and avoiding tight panties, and jeans. As to eating yogurt, well some types of yogurt contain dietary acidophilus (Lactobacillus acidophilus), which is a type of “friendly” bacteria that lives in the digestive, urinary, and genital systems. But there is not enough scientific evidence to say that yogurt effectively treats or prevents vaginal yeast infections.

When sex leads to sudden death

We cannot deny that having sex or making love is one of the most enjoyable activities for married couples. Sex not only increases marital harmony but improves overall health. Many studies have confirmed that sex can burn enough calories, improve heart health, reduces stress and be very gratifying. Having sex is a healthy activity, but you need to know that it can also lead to untimely death if not properly controlled. Death can occur during sex for a number of reasons, generally because of the physical exertion and strain of the activity, or some underlying medical condition. As beneficiary as sex maybe, it is also associated with variety of deadly risks.

Sudden deaths [SD] during sex account for approximately 0.9 per cent of all sudden deaths. Numerous notable cases of individuals dying during or from sex have been recorded and reported. For example, Nelson Rockefeller, who was a former Vice-President of the United States died of a heart attack during sex. Last king of the Huns in Europe, Atilla, was also recorded in history of being killed by a heart rendering deadly orgasm.

Sudden death (SD) as a result of sex has been linked to heart and heart related reasons. Majority of deaths due to bad heart such as arteriosclerosis, heart attack, stroke and some other organic condition has also been a reason for erectile dysfunction not well managed or ignored.

Even, death could result from routine sexual activities. For instance, an increasing percentage of death has been reported as a result of garage sex. It is not a bad idea to have variety of places and positions for creative sex but the engine of the car must not be left running, because when you run the engine of a car in a closed garage and you are not in a hurry to rush sex, there is a possibility of dying from inhaling carbon monoxide poison. For couples who like to have sex in the car, the gas is a threat, especially if you let the car idle, turn on the AC and because the car is in a closed state, better still do a quick one if you must.

Variety of sexual perversion has also become one of the most common causes of sudden death during sex. We recognised that sex is one of the primary needs of man, it is one of the major reasons that men build commitment in marriage. If executed properly, sex can be so beautiful and enjoyed by the couple. However, when a partner wants sex in a very strange manner, the practice of this may lead to sudden death. Sex that is done after torturing the other couple has been claimed to be a form of sexual fantasy where some people only feel aroused by the satisfaction of seeing their partner in torment. There are also people who actually enjoy sex when their partner’s body is sprinkled with hot wax; many people died while doing this. High percentage of sudden death by sex has been recorded with some defective mindset. There are fellows who think that until they have sex with animals, they might not be horny. These people argue that they easily get aroused and climax because of the variety of the genitalia of the animals. What makes them horny is the irregularity in shape, size, colour and look but it is the same irregularity that leads to sudden toxic death. The percentage of sudden death in hotels, guest houses, inns, lodging houses, hidden places are as a result of illicit sex affairs between a married man and married woman. The untimely deaths aside from health condition have mystical or psychic undertone.

One of the likely causes of sudden death during sex is having sex during menstruation. As a matter of fact, it can be detrimental to the health of both couples. During menstruation, vaginal wall will experience inflammation or swelling of the body’s natural processes. When inflammation occurs, the uterine lining will decay which coincides with the release of menstrual blood. The blood is a medium that has the potential to develop the germs and bacteria that can cause infection. Usually, the cervix opens up a bit and the opening of the cervix most times facilitates entry of germs and bacteria to the uterus and these germs and bacteria even spread to the pelvic cavity. Sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, hepatitis among others are some of the health risks that can result from having sex while menstruating. If the potential partner is promiscuous, it may lead to sudden death as a result of sexual activities. Deep hard movement of the penis during sexual intercourse in the menstrual period may also be a trigger of an air bubble into an open vein. If the embolism or air bubble finds its way into the blood vessels, it will result in clogged arteries and may lead to sudden death. Anal sex is another cause of sudden death due to sexual activities. In most cases, anal sex victims usually bleed and when the thrusting in and out is too vigorous, they might likely bleed out of every pore in the body. The lymph nodes break down and bleeding becomes uncontrollable.

Sex during a medically pinned down pregnancy is another reason for sudden death. Pregnancy expands the blood vessels in the woman’s pelvis. When a pregnancy is classified as a medically sensitive case, sex should be avoided. Women who have sex shortly after giving birth could put their lives at risk. According to research, women who are in their 20s and have had several children may likely die because they had sex too soon after giving birth. Even with history of normal delivery, they may collapse while having sex and die due to air bubbles or embolisms being introduced into the body and travelling up to the heart and brain. This is because the blood vessels in a woman’s pelvic area widened during pregnancy and takes around three weeks to readjust after birth. The researchers said it was more common for women to have air embolisms if they had deep penetrative sex with their knees against their chest. This is because the uterus would be above the right wall of the heart, increasing air pressure on the heart. Other causes of death by air embolism during or after birth include induced abortion, oral sex and forceps delivery.

Heart attack has been a major cause of sudden death during or after sexual activities. Middle-aged men with heart problems are much more likely to die during sexual intercourse. A 28-year-old woman died after several rounds of sex with a male companion in a hotel. Reports have it that the pair were regular guests of the hotel where the incident happened few days ago. During investigation, it was discovered that the lady had a heart condition she ignored and excess alcohol was found in her blood stream. People who are under the influence of alcohol will feel the incredible pleasure when having sex while drunk but it could be a sudden death signal. So many people that engage in use of alcohol have this belief that with excessive use of alcohol, they are likely going to prolong the sexual act but that can lead to sudden death if such individuals have some underlying conditions that are not detected. It is healthier to do away with alcohol.

Sexual orgasm through intercourse or masturbation can increase heart rate and blood pressure. For people who have problems with hypertension or a weak heart, it can trigger sudden death. The popular spell cast of ‘magun’ has been a considerable reason for sudden death during sexual activities in Africa.

Variety of techniques and places aimed at addressing the extreme boredom of having sex is okay. However, certain risky places such as height on a roof, the window stand of a room, tiled slippery bathroom, tip of a chipped bathtub, and so on are not only very dangerous but a sudden death arena.

Every and all addictive anal sex activities lead to sudden death. Medically, the anus has a lot of walls that are thinner because it is an extension of the large intestine. Vigorous sexual activity does not only over- extend this area, it also tears the skin and causes severe bleeding because the anus is not as thick as the walls of the vagina that is prepared to copulate.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

How can I delay ejaculation?

Thank God for your educative articles; they are really adding spice to our sex life. Firstly, my wife urinates explosively sometimes after orgasmic sex. She barely makes it to the bathroom before losing control and urinating, sometimes she messes up her body. Is it normal?

Secondly, I usually lose control and ejaculate when my wife is close to her second orgasm and I can feel her vagina muscles contracting again. I desire to hold on till her second orgasm comes, so that we can come together. Any suggestion?

Mr. Rolland Ibukwe

Kegel exercise or pelvic floor exercise for five minutes, two or three times daily, is best for both of you. You will likely see significant improvement in your ability to control till her second orgasm.

In men, inability to hold on ejaculation longer may sometimes be caused by a weak urethra. Kegel exercises will completely help regain bladder control which will invariably help to sustain and delay ejaculation. It will also help to control the flow of urine of your wife. Kegels are easy to do, once you know which muscles to target. One of the easiest ways for both of you to locate your muscles is during urination. Here’s how: Halfway through urination, try to stop or slow down the flow of urine. Don’t tense the muscles in your buttocks, legs, or abdomen, and don’t hold your breath. When you can slow or stop the flow of urine, you’ve successfully located these muscles. Contract these muscles for a slow count of five. Release the muscles to a slow count of five. Repeat 10 times. Do a set of 10 Kegels daily, three times a day. When you’re first starting, it may be easier to do Kegel exercises lying down for men and sitting on the toilet W.C. for women, so your muscles aren’t fighting against gravity. It may also be easier to contract the muscles for just two or three seconds at first. After a few weeks, increase the time until eventually you’re contracting the muscles for a slow five or 10 seconds, and do the exercises standing up. That helps puts more weight on the muscles, boosting the workout level and improving the control. Remember not to tense your buttock, legs, or stomach muscles while you’re doing Kegels.

How long does a woman usually take to reach orgasm during sex?

10, 20 minutes or thereabout. Women generally need longer time to have an orgasm than men, who take about seven to 14 minutes. These are just average durations anyway. You may be faster or slower, and it can be different from one time to the next.

Is it true that men can’t have an orgasm unless they ejaculate?

Paulina Seth

No, it is not true. Having an orgasm and ejaculating are two different things. They usually happen together. For many men, a powerful ejaculation is the best part of an orgasm. Other men keep feeling the orgasm well after they release semen. After age 40, a man may ejaculate less, but he can still have multiple orgasms.

Is it true?

I am close to 50 years and I still experience toilet disease. My friend suggests I should eat a lot of yogurt and douche regularly to prevent this.

Loli Ejodunmu

Yeast infections is popularly called toilet disease in women. If at the age of 50 or thereabout you still experience this, it is in your best interest to see the doctor. It may be an underlying reason of some other infections. Women could still get yeast infections after menopause begins. This is because menopause causes hormonal changes, which can affect the balance of yeast or bacteria in the vagina and lead to a yeast infection. Correct Answer: False

Most doctors recommend that women should not douche at all. Douching changes the acidity level of the PH balance of the vagina, so it is safer to only wash the outer folds of the vagina with warm water and mild soap. Correct Answer: All of the above

You can reduce your chances of getting a yeast infection by wearing cotton panties, which are cooler than synthetic panties and won’t trap sweat; avoiding douches and feminine sprays, which can be irritating; changing tampons or pads often during your period and avoiding tight panties, and jeans. As to eating yogurt, well some types of yogurt contain dietary acidophilus (Lactobacillus acidophilus), which is a type of “friendly” bacteria that lives in the digestive, urinary, and genital systems. But there is not enough scientific evidence to say that yogurt effectively treats or prevents vaginal yeast infections.

BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

Royal Mills and Foods Limited Graduate Massive Trainee Jobs recruitment, February 2015

Royal Mills and Foods Limited Graduate Massive Trainee Jobs recruitment, February 2015

Royal Mills and Foods Limited Manufactures and distributes De-Royal Instant Noodles, De-Royal table water and De-Royal Sparkling soft drink.
The company was incorporated in Nigeria on the 28th December, 2011 as a limited liability company and commenced operation on 30th March 2013. The factory is located at Vintage Estate, Sani Abacha Road, Karu, Abuja.

Applications are hereby invited from Young or Fresh Graduates to employ and train as Management Trainees (Managers) at Royal Mills and Foods Limited


Job Title: Management Trainees

Requirements

Candidates for this position must be First Degree Holders in any discipline from a recognized and approved University,
Must have completed the mandatory One Year National Youth Service Programme and must not be more than 28 years old by 1st April 2015.
Candidate could be Male or Female.

How to Apply

Interested Candidates should send their CV stating a day time telephone number, via mail to vacancies@royalmillsfoods.com.ng
Application closes on or before the close of business of Friday 27th February, 2015.

Sex after forty, can it be better all the time?

Many couples start experiencing a form of major shift sexually as age tells on them, and they get worried, discouraged and even depressed when they are becoming weaker as they age.

As men advance in age, they may experience a slower erection process. The muscle contractions during orgasm may not be as intense but they’re still pleasurable. Although it generally takes longer to ejaculate, ejaculation needs not occur every time. But the benefit of this is that it helps the man to have a better staying power, which allows for more prolonged lovemaking. Also after menopause, many women sometimes find it more difficult to become lubricated. The vaginal tissue may become thin, caused by a loss of oestrogen and intercourse may be painful. But notwithstanding, many women find out they are more sensitive to touch as they grow older and are more easily aroused.

Most people who have had good sex continue to have it until they are hit by a troublesome ailment. You don’t have to assume that you must give up sex as a result of age-related health problems such as arthritis, backaches, muscle pain. All you have to do is discuss any debilitating disorders with your family doctor and also a sex therapist and learn to work around them. For instance, if a wife suffers from thinning skin in the vagina due to menopause and old age, she and her husband should make sure that she inserts the penis just to avoid being hut unintentionally. If your body, energy level and interests change, don’t cling to established sexual patterns. You and your spouse should experiment with new ways of satisfying each other, including new positions. A sex therapist can be helpful.

Sexual problems that occur with aging are more often psychological than physical. People think getting older isn’t “sexy” or that “nobody has sex at my age.”

Once you start thinking that it is inappropriate to be sexually active, you stop taking responsibility for your sex life, and you cut yourself off from the enjoyment of sex.

Many people recall their sexuality at puberty and (unwisely) use this as their sexual norm. Important: The only “norm” is whatever is right for you at a particular time in your life. Don’t assume that one disappointing day means you’re “too old to do it anymore” and panicking. The greater the panic, the worse it gets. Men become impotent and women are unable to reach orgasm. Result: They avoid sex altogether.

Sexual satisfaction depends on your overall relationship with your spouse and this is much more important than most couples think.

For instance, if you are bored with your spouse, it is unlikely that he/she will excite you.

If your sex life begins to falter, ask yourself why you are turning yourself off. People rarely are turned off by outside factors; they usually do it to themselves.

Good way to turn yourself on again: Make a list. Using age as an excuse to avoid facing problems will get you nowhere.

Men usually associate sexuality with strength and power. As a man ages, he perceives or imagines himself losing his strength, which he sees as a threat to his virility. (Note: Physical strength has nothing to do with sexuality.)

As a man grows older, his career may rise higher. Even if he is a terrific success, he may not see himself that way. Rather, he may feel that he is losing his power and control and worry that his wife will see him that way, too, and respond accordingly in bed.

Example: A man in his sixties complained to me of impotence. When I asked how much time he and his wife spent in foreplay, he replied that they spend ten minutes. I advised him to try at least 40 minutes. Two weeks later, his impotence was completely cured. Simply breaking the time barrier with new games had solved the problem. Do you know that mere sensual contact during the day could be helpful? One spouse can just lie back and is touched by the other but not immediately on the breasts or genitals for 15 minutes to an hour. The spouse being touched should stipulate what he or she wants in a nonverbal way. If you would like your spouse to touch more slowly, put your hand over your partner’s and just take the lead, you can slow it down, switch places and take your time. Prolonged sensual touching without genital contact removes anxiety in performance. From feedback, this type of sensual contact has not only boosted the sexual confidence of many older lovers but has revived their sexual confidence and performance in the face of terrible sexual challenges. Many of these couples develop wonderful feeling about each other. Resentments and recriminations usually evaporate.

Many women face a paradox as they start to age. On the one hand, they have finally come to grips with their sexuality and desirability. They have had children, they no longer need to worry about contraception, and they experience a great freeing-up of sexual feeling. On the other hand, the aging process attacks this new confidence. Many women have complained to me that the way they look, they do not think they will be attractive to their husbands anymore, but the plain truth is that a lot of things make a woman to be beautiful to her husband more than the physical attribute. Good character, act of submissiveness, neatness, working on good manners, taking good care of the home, children, in-laws, providing wholesome meals and comfortable environment for the man, etc all have a quota in attractiveness. In fact, both men and women must learn to accept and like their bodies as they change. Look at your body, examine it, and grew comfortable with it.

Most couples who maintain their sexuality as they age don’t see their partners as old, wrinkled and ugly. As they mature, they accept older models of attractiveness.

Most important: For people who love each other, the essence of the feelings that started decades ago still exists. There is still excitement between them. In a strong, loving relationship, spouses continue to see in each other that very special person to whom they were first attracted.

Couples in their 60s and 70s and older often ask me what to do about more sexual fulfilment, erectile problems and other issues that interfere with intercourse. I tell them to slow down, expand their sexual horizons, develop new sexual habits and start all over again. The goal is simply not to give up too soon. Instead of going right for sex, you should start to tease your wife. What you should do is go slowly and start to have sex, then stop. Keep doing this until she goes crazy and practically pulls you inside her. Now once you have started the thrusting in and out, it is important to change pace (and positions). Many wives moan from pain and not pleasure because they are kept on one position for long. Again, your focus as the husband is to concentrate on her pleasure and make sure she is really enjoying herself.

What really works is to build up speed, then pull back to a slow and sensual pace. Keep doing this pattern until both of you cannot take it anymore.

Questions and Answers

Why phone sex?

My husband wants phone sex, is this not out of place? This is a time in our lives we are expected to be thinking of better things and making the children’s future a better one and not agitating for phone sex. I am confused.

Mrs. Hassan Mulikat

Maybe it is one of your husband’s fantasies and since he is not demanding phone sex from an outsider, I think it is worth given consideration and you both can talk over it. Maybe also he is finding sex boring with you and he is looking for ways you both can revive it. If this is the case, it is certainly better than nothing.

If you do it with a good faith only with your husband, maybe over the months, you both may refine it into a very sexy art. Usually with phone sex, you begin by taking turns telling each other what you would do to each other if you were together. Where you would touch and how you would feel, then what you both would do next. Then, after arousal, how you would repeat the same act over and again. Phone sex invigorates boring sex life and immeasurably rekindles old flame of busy couples

When both of you are now physically together, it’s like you are picking up from where you left off in your last conversation instead of having to get sexually reacquainted all over again. Besides, there is something about phone sex that gets both of your imaginations going. You will begin to talk about doing things to each other that you never tried before. But when you get together, you could try them. Sexy phone conversations allow couples’ sexual imaginations to soar as they never had before. If one or both of you travel a lot, phone sex still gets you connected and makes you both feel wonderful.

Hypertension, medicine and sex

Each time I take some cough medication after sex, I notice that I have high blood pressure. Is it the sexual act or the cough syrup that makes me feel this uncomfortable?

Mr. Billy Emmanuel

Cold and flu medicines that contain decongestants are one of the several classes of medications that cause blood pressure to rise, with or without sex. Others include some pain relievers, steroids, diet pills, birth control and some antidepressants. If you have high blood pressure, see your doctor for advice before taking those drugs.

Talking dirty at old age

My husband wants me to talk dirty during sex. He is in his late 60s now and nothing arouses him for sex like talking dirty. Initially, I refused but I noticed that every other way to get him into the mood was fruitless. How do I start talking dirty at this age of my life? I do not want to seek sex outside my marriage. By the way, I am 52 years. If not that my love for sex is high, I would not have asked this question.

Married but not happy

Well, it is good you ask. It will at least be of help to others. Simply put, many men at this stage are looking for something new and stimulating and attractive. Talking dirty is just an act of stimulating arousal and good orgasm for some men. You can start slowly and improve on it. For instance, you can moan and let him know you like it. At times, you don’t need words to talk dirty to your man. When you’re making love to your man, show your appreciation with wet gasps and moans. As long as you go ‘aaah’ each time he thrusts you deep, it’ll give him the same arousal boost as sexy talk. It’s not always what you say but how you say anything sexy, so whisper it in his ears softly and breathlessly. It’s not always what you say to him that turns him on, but how you say it makes all the difference. Just drop a few sexy words while biting his ear. Can you recollect any sexy incident that always turned both of you on? Perhaps, the time when he almost went for three rounds, or the last time you gave him a good blow job. Imagining and recreating a sexy memory like the first time you had sex with him or let him fondle your breasts at the same time while kissing it, it can be extremely arousing and connecting for both of you. And while doing that, you can whisper things like, ‘you make me so wet, your shoulders look so sexy, it feels so big!’ ‘I love the way you feel inside me, Ohh… don’t stop that!, this feels so good!,’ It is all about keeping your home.

Night or day, when is sex most ideal?

One of the major bones of contention between married lovers is the timing for sex. It appears there is never a bad time to have sex, be it in the morning, afternoon or night, and being one of the most pleasurable activities in marriage, the truth is sex has no definite time or venue before it can be enjoyed. Why is it that men want sex and are ready to go for it first thing in the morning while women often want to get in the mood late in the evening? However findings by some scientists have shown that men want it more in the morning, while women want it at night. The researchers attributed men’s early morning desire to two things, their hormones and because sex could make their day better.

It is no news that normal sexually functional man usually wakes in the morning with an erection, (if by the age of 12 upwards, you do not experience morning erection, you need to call in for immediate natural cure) feeling passionate, which is occasioned by the testosterone hormone in their body, and since a hard-on is also instrumental to sex, that pleasurable act may just most times be lurking in their thoughts.

The study noted that a man’s level of sex hormones is at the highest when he wakes up while a woman’s is at the lowest. Notably, higher testosterone levels equal higher sex drive. Even though both men and women have testosterone, it is more present in men, known as the sex drive or male sex hormone. Even before a man opens his eyes in the morning, his level of testosterone is at its peak – between 25 per cent and 50 per cent, more than at any other time of the day. The pituitary gland in a man’s brain which governs the production of the male sex hormone, has been switched on in the night and its levels have been rising steadily until dawn.

Hence, low testosterone levels among many other reasons can be linked to bad stress and a lack of sleep because good sleep boosts the level of the testosterone hormone in a man’s body, which can often cause an erection and a tendency to make men more aggressive in pursuing sex. Women also make testosterone, but produce a fraction of the amount and it rises by only a tiny bit overnight, and it is also kept in balance by oestrogen and progesterone. Men only need a normal amount of testosterone to feel like having sex, and the raised levels in the morning means most men will wake with erections, which informs part of the reasons they want sex in the morning. Studies found that the longer, sweeter and deeper a man has slept, the higher his testosterone levels and getting more than five hours’ sleep can raise the hormone levels by an extra 15 per cent. The male and female testosterone levels are at their highest at opposite ends of the day, so they are out of synch. While the hormones secreted during men’s sleep at night trigger their sex-in-the-morning disposition, it takes more than hormones for women to be in the mood for sex, rather a woman’s testosterone levels are likely to increase on the anticipation of sex with her husband.

Having this understanding, I think the best way to handle this contention is to adjust to one another. Marriage union is not necessarily a union of two great compatible lovers but rather adaptable and adjustable lover. So change your mind-set, change has been said to be the only thing that does not change when an individual wants to get a better result on any life issue. Married lovers must continually be creative and give room for change in order to enjoy an outstanding sex life, be it in the morning or any time.

In such moment of adjustment, be careful what you say when a wife says, “Is it in yet?” What the husband hears is, ‘my penis size is so small she cannot even feel it. Am I not a man enough to satisfy her?’ Instead, use your hands and put his penis deep inside your well-shaved vagina and whisper this to his ears, ‘honey, although I am still feeling sleepy, get deep inside me, I am all yours. When a wife says ‘is that how far you can go after waking me up?’ what her husband hears is ‘you are not good enough.’ Instead, whisper lovingly to his ears and say ‘job well done, now to the main meal. I cannot wait to feel how your hands will do wonders and justice to my clitoris and breasts this time around.’

While morning sexual intercourse might not be an Olympic display, your husband should at least earn an approving look and encouragement, knowing he is under the influence of testosterone and he will appreciate if you do not bruise his self-esteem. Change what you wear to sleep; what the eyes feed on is what the mind translates. If your husband’s eyes constantly feed on ‘old craggy house wear,’ his mind will translate you into an ‘old grandma in the village. Sex with grandma may not be the best even with raised testosterone. Change your look; men are attracted to sexy looks. Even at sixty, you can still look sexy. What looks does to his early morning erection is it kills it and when this goes on, over the time, he starts experiencing weak erection.

For the best of morning sex you desire, men should transform the way they make love to their wives. Many a times, a typical wife loves to satisfy her man with all sexual luxury, indulgence, delight, and treats available but she is neither under the influence of any hormones in the morning nor is sex in her thoughts. The following is how to prepare your wife’s mind for incredible morning sex. If you do this right even halfway, her mind will prepare her body for an unforgettable morning. What do I mean? Change your words and actions positively to affect her mood. Her mood will affect her body. Once you get her going in the right direction, it gets easier as the morning goes on. So where do you start?

Start with waking her up early enough with some romantic gesture, don’t just slap her legs to wake her up the way you are forcing an unyielding child out of bed romance. The secret to being romantic is to bathe a woman’s mind with thoughtfulness, fun, tenderness and security, without smothering her or acting needy. All women have different personalities and expectations, so it is up to you to find out what your wife desires and what combination of romance works best with her. One woman may find it romantic for her husband to just stay awake a little before sex starts and listen to all her deepest fears while another may love you to help calm the baby before action. Don’t just say ‘go and give the baby to the maid and come here.’

Then put her in ‘the mood.’ This may not be a daily thing but in some mornings, this can be heavenly. So before some of your morning sex, you have to put your woman in the mood. This involves setting up the right kind of environment that will enhance her pleasure.

To put her in the mood, you should focus on creating an atmosphere that emphasises acceptance of her person, preference and sensitivity. In addition, please do not skip foreplay; it is one of the most important things to learn. Love play is all about how to make love to a woman. Well-designed foreplay is the best way to transit from a conversation to having sex. Typically, foreplay involves kissing, “heavy petting” and sensual massages. The rule of the game is to really focus on her pleasure and start building up its intensity. What arousal climaxing and ejaculation is to a man is what foreplay is to a woman. Foreplay is actually the sex women crave for more than the deep penetration. Once you have brought her to the pinnacle of pleasure from foreplay, you should start to have sex. Now, most husbands will just start rushing sex without any thought. This is a mistake! Next morning might not be feasible.

Instead of going right for sex, you should start to tease your wife. What you should do is go slowly and start to have sex, then stop. Keep doing this until she goes crazy and practically pulls you inside her. Now once you have started the thrusting in and out, it is important to change pace (and positions). Many wives moan from pain and not pleasure because they are kept on one position for long. Again, your focus as the husband is to concentrate on her pleasure and make sure she is really enjoying herself. What really works is to build up speed, then pull back to a slow and sensual pace. Keep doing this pattern until both of you cannot take it anymore.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

How can a husband help his wife ejaculate?

My wife says it has been a long time desire.

Allen Peters

The feelings that accompany female ejaculation are not different from those that follow male ejaculation. It is characterised by the convulsive, rhythmic and pleasure giving release that follows male ejaculation. It is the way a woman’s body reacts to the highest form of sexual pleasure. There are many ways a husband gets his wife to ejaculate. A particularly good way to get your spouse to be in this position is to get her to turn her hips a quarter of the way, with a pillow under her and her legs over your shoulders. This is what is described in some quarters as ‘pillow tongue.’ This is a clever way of ensuring that the clitoris is not subjected to constant, predictable pressure, which could make it retreat inside its hook. In using the tongue, couples must always remember that the underside of the human tongue does not have the moisture that the top has. Therefore, it is always better to alternate with the two. At times, too much familiarity, advancing age, work pressures, the challenges of raising a family, and household responsibilities may all conspire against female regular ejaculation. When couples make sex more playful, they will regain more sexual electricity and experience frequent female ejaculation.

My husband good but I still keep two other men

I am married. My husband is doing his best to satisfy me sexually but I must confess that in spite of his effort, I still keep two other men for sex. I have tried many times to stop it but the more I try the more I am drawn to them. They are not giving me financial favour but until I have sex with either of them in a week, I am not myself. Sometimes I even cry, but I still go back to them. They both are my ex before I married my husband. If I confess to my husband, I am not sure of his reaction. Can you explain my state?

Queen Ejirofu

Each time a man connects with a woman sexually and releases his sperm into her, he is actually releasing a part of himself into her, and he is actually leaving a part of his (DNA) in her. Even when she cleaned herself after the act, the truth is that a fragment of him remains in her inside. This imprint can often create a feel of sexual addiction to such individual.

When someone decides to have multiple partners, it can sometimes send mixed emotional signals within the body and soul of that fellow. Married couples must be careful of different energies or spiritual forces polluting their bodies through casual sex here and there. Sexual intercourse is actually an internal course that unites man and woman, spirit with spirit, soul with soul and body with body. This is something that a condom can’t protect you against.

There is no such thing as “casual sex.” Sex is an intimate activity that intricately links the soul of two people together. Sex creates a powerful exchange of energy between those involved. These connections, imprints and debris are left on the minds, souls and spirits of the participants for a very long time even after the deed is done. The longer and more intimate the contact with another person, the more powerful the reinforcement and the interaction of the bond will become, and all the more difficult it is for them to untangle and leave. In this case, your will is not very strong, I strongly believe you need a higher spiritual intervention; get a spiritual help.

Is this selfishness or what?

My husband and I have been through many things just to get a child of our own for the past 18 years. Finally I am pregnant and due for delivery in four months’ time. The challenge we have now is that my husband is finding it sincerely difficult to stay off sex for the rest of the pregnancy period. Although we have never stayed a week apart without sex, since the inception of the pregnancy, I have ignored him. Few days ago, I caught him helplessly masturbating. Please, what position should we use while I am pregnant?

Lola Stelloki

Were you under any medical reason not to have sex during the early period of pregnancy? If yes, he has to bear for the few remaining months and try and stop masturbating. If not, there are two suggestions you may apply. The rear entry style, where you lay on your sides with your buttocks against his stomach; then he can enter your vagina gently. This is good position during pregnancy because he will not have to press on your tummy. The only problem in this type of position is that his penis will not touch your clitoris. And if you want him to really enjoy himself and you also want to relish the act, make sure that while his penis is moving in your vagina, he should continually fondle your clitoris with his fingers until both of you have a happy ending. The sitting style is where he sits on a chair and you sit with one of your legs on each side of his body. Here, his penis does not actually have to enter your vagina deeply so as not to cause any harm, especially in the 8th and the 9th month. Listen, you have to show love to your husband; have sex often and make it exciting. That is how love grows in a relationship.