Erectile dysfunction, generally known as impotence, affects an estimated 18 million men in the United States alone, while Nigeria men share the borderline of the statistics. However, while this condition is no picnic, it is not as horrible or as permanent as it sounds or as it is generally believed to be. All the terror and the shame usually associated with this problem is only so because the condition is most often, completely misunderstood and the permanent solution evades us.
According to the National Institutes of Health, approximately five per cent of 40-year-old men and between 15 per cent and 25 per cent of 65-year-old men, experience ED on a long-term basis.
But ironically, close to 15 per cent of Nigerian youth between the ages of 27-35 are fast entering the list. A much more common problem which affects the majority of men at some point in their life is the occasional failure to achieve an erection, which could occur for a variety of reasons, ranging from drinking too much alcohol to being extremely tried or even variety of health problems.
But then, let us first attempt to define and to understand exactly what erectile dysfunction is, and how it is caused. Then, we would discuss how it could affect the lives of men who suffer from it, and how it directly or indirectly affects the people around them. Once we have a comprehensive understanding of the condition and what it entails, we’ll discuss how to cure it.
Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is generally defined as the inability to achieve or to maintain an erection long enough to engage in sexual intercourse.
However, to fully understand erectile dysfunction, one first has to understand how the process of erection works. Initially, you need to realise that the penis contains two chambers. These chambers are called the corpora cavernosa, which are filled with spongy tissue. They run the length of the organ and contain a maze of blood vessels shaped like cavernous spaces. An erection is achieved when the blood vessels of the corpora cavernous relax and open up because of nerve messages which stimulate the penis, and impulses from the brain and local nerves. As blood rushes in through the cavernous arteries to fill them, it is trapped under high pressure, which expands the penis and you would just take off!
So, under normal circumstances, when you are sexually stimulated, your brain would send a message downstairs, through your spinal cord and into the nerves of your penis. The nerve ending of the penis then releases chemical messengers, called neurotransmitters, which signal the arteries that supply blood to the corpora cavernous to relax and get filled with blood. As they expand, the corpora cavernosa close off other veins which would normally drain blood from the penis. As the penis becomes engorged with blood, it enlarges and stiffens, causing an erection. Problems with blood vessels, nerves, or tissues of the penis can interfere with an erection.
In essence then, erectile dysfunction is simply a problem with your blood flow caused by variety of issues ranging from organic, circumstantial, psychological, environmental, and psychosomatic to lifestyle and eating habits and so on. And thus, it is a problem that could be easily resolved. No need to be embarrassed about it, or to throw away your marriage relationships, and be distressed and depressed, for it could happen to anyone. Failure to achieve an erection less than 20 per cent of the time is not unusual and treatment is rarely needed. Failure to achieve an erection more than 50 per cent of the time, however, generally indicates that there is a problem requiring attention.
Sometimes, Erectile Dysfunction only occurs in certain situations. For example, you may be able to obtain an erection by just looking at nude pictures or just thinking about your wife or just remembering the last time you had an earth shaking sexual escapades, or you may find that you sometimes wake up with an erection. However, you may be momentarily unable to obtain an erection when you are with your wife.
In these circumstances, it is likely that the underlying cause of ED is primarily psychological, psychosomatic and circumstantial. However, if you are unable to obtain an erection under any circumstances, it is likely that the underlying cause is primarily physical.
In order to achieve an erection, the following conditions must occur. If there is something interfering with any or all of these conditions, a full erection would be prevented. The blood circulation into the penis must be adequate. The veins and tissues must be able to “trap and keep” the blood inside the penis. There must be a stimulus from the brain. The nerves must be very sensitive, the prostate must produce testosterone.
Common causes of Erectile Dysfunction include diseases which affect blood flow, such as atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) or venous leakage (weak veins), diseases affecting the heart in general, issues with diabetes mellitus, infection. Furthermore, psychological factors, such as stress, depression, and performance anxiety can lead to ED, as well as an injury to the penis. Additionally, chronic illness, certain medications, and a condition called Peyronie’s Disease (scar tissue in the penis) can also cause ED.
Now, as most men and couples fail to truly understand Erectile Dysfunction, its causes, and how it can effectively be cured, through entirely natural means at home or natural herbal preparations, exercises and even massages, they tend to get scared, and then leap to panic and irrational conclusions. The lack of understanding breeds unfounded fears, which spins a series of misguided thoughts and rash actions, and those in turn, engender significant distress, and a host of other problems in life.
All the distress, and each of those problems, can easily be avoided, however, by accomplishing some simple processes.
To be continued next week.
Questions and Answers
I am a distressed husband
I love my wife of six years. I sincerely do but my problem is that whenever I am with her, I do not have a desire for sex or have an erection. I would have to resort to the use of some enhancers. But recently, I am always sexually attracted to other women to the extent of developing an affair with another woman, which I do not like at all. I eventually stopped it but the same problem persisted with my wife. How can I get to have erection naturally with her again? I am in distress.
Pastor in distress,
This is a situation common to couples who have been married for many years and even at that, when such couples rekindle old flame, they usually overcome such challenges. I think first and foremost, you should work on your mindset and start seeing your wife as your mistress. The truth of the matter is you would always be surrounded by other women who are not your wife; that is part of life. You have to look for workable solution so as to maintain your sanity.
Another very important issue but which most wives take for granted is their appearance at home when they are not dressed for outing. As couples age in marriage and age in life, they may lose sight of the fact that people are visual regardless of the career, vocation, or profession, because the beginning of any relationship involved visual attraction. Now, that may become a turnoff for husband and wife when this is not prioritised. Neglecting hair, clothing and makeup, not observing oral, vulgar, bedroom hygiene and having issues with good manners, may become a major turnoff. I usually tell wives to pretend they are single and on their first date with someone new most of the time. This usually helps to keep them equipped with fact, style and values of life.
I’m only left with frustrating arousal
Funmi as interesting, educative and tempting as your articles are, they don’t really cover those of us married folks who just don’t have ANY sex in our relationship anymore. The only thing I seem to have is frustrated arousal, regret and wishes each time I read your article. In our own situation, my wife entered her menopause at an early age of 35 years due to one ailment. Although at that early stage, she did all she could to try and help out by using the oestrogen replacement pill for a while. She started with the pills and later started using the injection and then the patch. But she eventually stopped because she was scared of the side effects. And as soon as she did, her desires stopped as well, leaving me with no hope of effecting a change. She is just 37 years now but isn’t interested in any kind of physical attention other than kissing and cuddling. It is so very sad that our 12 years of marriage has turned into more like a “roommate” union. Now, I am left with an empty container. What can I do? Unfortunately I am a one- wife person, I don’t believe in sampling women around.
Saheed Agba Rabidun
You sounded so final but I believe there is still hope for your sex life. First, there are lots of natural herbs that would naturally replace her desire and stimulate her libido for good sex. But most importantly, maybe there is really nothing wrong with friendship and affection in a marriage relationship. It is this friendship that breeds more affection and spike desires. I will suggest you keep at good friendship. If your wife really loves you, she should be willing to accommodate your sexual needs even if she herself has no desire.
I still desire sex badly even at 82
I still want sex badly at 82 years. Am I normal? Although I am not sure about my wife’s desire, she is 65 years. I don’t think she is on the same page with me because she thinks we should have outgrown such by now, she is always very dry and sex to her is so painful. Through our 40 years of marriage, I was always the aggressor and the initiator and I could get aroused brushing up against her in the kitchen and up until now, I still can but not as frequent. In attempting to see if she was interested, I bought your book on sex for the elderly couples. I casually left it near her closet in the bedroom. I asked her if she found the book interesting and all I got was a questionable look and response. I am not physically attractive as I once was but I continue to look at attractive women walking about and my libido is still much active. How can I fulfil this desire without making a fool of myself?
Old Contractor,
To start with, become a special unavoidable friend to your wife, shower attention and praise on her, talk to her in a way as if she is a young teenager who is in her first dating period. Show her open affection in such a manner that she would become embarrassingly happy. Continue this for days, weeks and months. Take her on a trip to places she has dreamt of. Buy her the types of underwear she likes and make her wear them in your presence. Praise her looks while she is putting them on and go to the extent of suggesting you help her wear them. Treat her like a baby; even at that age, caress and massage her body while she is resting, insisting such caressing is good for her. Continue with these gestures and before you know it, she would be the one asking for sex and not the other way round in spite of her earlier refusal. This is because sex to a woman of any age is not only attached to her heart but also to her emotion. When you have successfully entered into the heart of any woman of any age, you would easily enter her legs regardless of any prevailing situation or circumstances.
My vaginal is too short and orgasm seems to be unattainable.
Except cases where surgical operation has been performed on the wall of the virgina, a typical vaginal has standard size. The vagina is an elastic, muscular canal with a soft, flexible lining that provides lubrication and sensation. The size does not affect orgasm either. The vagina actually connects the uterus to the outside world. The vulva and labia form the entrance, and the cervix of the uterus protrudes into the vagina, forming the interior end. The vagina receives the penis during sexual intercourse and also serves as a conduit for menstrual flow from the uterus. During childbirth, the baby passes through the vagina (birth canal).
The hymen is a thin membrane of tissue that surrounds and narrows the vaginal opening. It may be torn or ruptured by sexual activity or by exercise. Research indicates there’s no standard size or shape for a woman’s vagina; but there could be many differences in shapes and looks among women of reproductive age, depending on the numbers of normal vagina deliveries such women have had. Orgasm via vagina is possible when your husband pays more attention to the tip of the vaginal by stimulating it, because the first few inches of the vagina is where the nerves of the vagina is highly populated. So, even if you have short or long vagina, it has not much importance to achieving orgasm. What is most important is the fact that you have vaginal entrance which every woman does. This is the part that gives orgasm when properly stimulated or caressed.
By Funmi Akingbade.
No comments:
Post a Comment