Saturday, May 30, 2015

Different strokes for different folks

Do couples really have different taste bud? Yes they do but many find it difficult to comprehend these changes, rather they most of the time think that something is wrong with them or their spouse. But experts have made it clear that couples’ sex taste bud differs from age to age, and the earlier a spouse is aware of this, the better it is for the partner.
This awareness is particularly useful for couples who have obvious age gap between them. The understanding of this will assist each partner to sexually please his or her spouse and, of course, help reduce cases of infidelity to the minimum.
Couples’ sex drives, libido and taste change with age. For instance, couples within the ages of 20 and 30 years mostly share sexual similarities in taste, preference, flavour, libido and craving in respect of their temperament, while couples within the ages of 32 and 39 though have the same sexual favourite, passion, desire and yearning than those within the ages of 45 and above but the similarities could be altered by their temperament, nature of job/career and lifestyle.
Experts say those in their 20s and 30s have great sexual chemistry and energy at their disposal. It is the stage where both partners fall madly in love and constantly produce high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. These chemicals not only make young couples feel extremely active and excited, they drive up testosterone– the hormone that fuels the sex drive in men as well as in women–to the highest height. Apart from this, many couples at this age bracket have lots of time at their disposal. Because these young couples may be with or without children, mornings and evenings are blissfully theirs for romantic romps. What’s more, they are at the beginning of their sexual life and they have a long way to go.
This is the stage where you hear the man complain of premature ejaculation. Because of the sexual tension between the couple, the man sometimes gets so excited that he ejaculates too quickly. There should not be reason to worry even when couples experience premature ejaculation at this stage because it may be basically as a result of anxiety of performance; the challenge will soon fade away. Or since both of them are so young, the man may be an amateur lover. And this is the stage they skip foreplay as they may see it as torture. Nevertheless, this is the time they could really get to know each other’s body and to figure out their likes or dislikes. The couple should see this as an opportunity to create their own sexual template. Actually, for this age group, this is the time to try it all and talk about what both of them are trying out.
Sometimes, couples are clueless about what to say at this point to really heat sex up. You have to tell each other what you want. But for many young couples at this stage, talking about sex may sometimes be embarrassing. This can be especially true of women who may not realise that giving their partner some sexy instructions in bed is likely to turn them on.
To get comfortable with the kind of talk that drives men into action, a wife can try this slightly ridiculous game. This game lets you reveal where and how you want to be touched (as well as finding out his hot spots) without saying a word. Just tell him you want to practise his favourite move but that he has to physically tell you what it is. Sit naked in the middle of the bed, facing each other. Lock eyes with him and fantasise about what you’d like him to do to you while he concentrates on what he wants you to do to him. As if that aren’t fun enough, try to read each other’s mind. After a few minutes, share your thoughts. By now, you should both be hot enough to say anything and be ready to go ‘gaga.’
You can decide to do a ‘leave in message.’ It’s another way for each of you to communicate what you would like without saying a thing. Either of you may go all out to buy an erotic gift and leave a note on the fridge in the morning saying that you don’t mind changing position to a ‘kneeling down and taking off style.’ This style is so unique that it is not a regular style but a special one that you engage in when you want to have a time to remember. And while doing that, take note that for you to get the maximum pleasure, you have to take your time to slowly and passionately rip off your clothes in a wild ride. That is how you really get to know every erotic spot on your mate.
You can even time yourselves to know how far you both can endure heavy foreplay before actual sex. For a start, set a timer for maybe 20 minutes one day, 30 the next and 40 the day after (every other day could be a good idea). This will force you to figure out each other’s pleasure threshold. Or try this technique: put four little bells on four silky strings, and tie one around both your spouse’s wrist and ankle. Then tell him or her not to jingle while you check out the body geography. Partners can learn a lot about what turns them on just by watching their facial expressions as they struggle to stay still.
The age of 32, 39 or thereabout, hormonally speaking, is a great time for a couple. The man’s testosterone level is still high enough to keep him hot, but he’s not as frivolous as he was in his 20s, when a sideways glance at his wife could spark a raw fire within him and turn him on and keep him hard all day long. Those slightly lower levels of excitement may mean that he may still not have put any premature ejaculation problem behind him, or he may be having new set of erectile dysfunction challenge. The wife may have dry spells when she is pregnant or breastfeeding (both of which can decrease her sex drive), it is common for breastfeeding women to have inadequate vaginal lubrication. But experts agree that this is the age when most women hit their sexual stride.
“In their 30s, this is when majority of spouses are more confident with their bodies, their mates and their sexuality. They are less afraid to speak up about what they like, so they are more likely to have orgasms. Although the two of them may have come off that initial wild passionate sex, they may likely settle into what experts call the attachment stage: a period of closeness and contentment when both share a general sense of union and peace of mind. The kind of connection a couple in love share at this stage drives up levels of oxytocin and vasopresin (the two chemicals that flood the brain with feelings of well-being). Here, they think of sex in the brain before the body. A research was carried out on couples within these age ranges to know the percentage of sex in the brain. Researchers wanted to know how much these couples think about sex on a daily basis. The result are as follows: once a day, 34 per cent; once an hour, 44 per cent; whenever I hear love music, three per cent; I’m too busy to think of it much, 19 per cent.
Besides, it is at this stage that such couples are caring for kids and building careers, so they have less time for spontaneous sex. Making sex truly sensational happens when they find ways to put it on their schedule, whether that means more quickies or making foreplay a part of everyday life. But whatever the case may be, the passion must not go off. You both can flood your sexual senses by carving out a day when you’re not so tired that you can’t imagine wanting to get busy in bed. You can refocus with this relaxing but racy ritual, which will wake up you and your husband’s senses. Innocently invite him to “talk” over a favourite dish and your favourite music while you change out of your work clothes. Once you’ve stripped down to your underwear, lean over and lick his neck while unbuttoning his shirt. Next, work your way down to his nipples, where that tingling sensation will fill his head with sexy thoughts. Stimulating your senses is the best way to shut out distractions and ease your way into the bedroom. Even when you’ve got in the mood, you may still have to fit what you used to do in three hours into just few minutes. This makes both of you so connected to each other and sex becomes even more intimate and soulful, no matter how swiftly you both do it.
‘Nothing spoil’ if both of you have an all-day foreplay in one of the weekends. It also helps if you’re ready to get it on before you hit the sheets. Find little ways to play around during the day. Creativity can help compensate for minimal mattress time. One wife I know writes sexy messages on her husband’s arm (they’re hidden under his sleeve during the day) and forbids him to read them until he gets to work. A man who I particularly admire sticks a ‘you are enough to feed me full’ on the overhead board of the bed in the bedroom. When his wife turns to her side of the mattress, the sticker starts beaming out light and music. You both can savour those late nights by just doing it, because a man’s testosterone level starts going up around 2 a.m. and keeps rising. Sex is actually even better than late morning sex because the man may be in a sort of altered state. And after you both have made love, you can just roll over for a few more delicious hours of sleep. Think sex whenever you find yourselves up at an odd time; it is very pleasurable.
Now let’s look into the age of 45 and above. This isn’t the most hormonally exciting electric-thrilling charged stage of marriage. The onset of peri-menopause may mean that sex hormones are waning. Less estrogenic means that the woman may not lubricate as quickly or easily as she used to. And the man’s lower testosterone level means that it’ll take more to get him turned on and that he’s not thinking about sex as often as he used to. This is also the time most men’s penis starts shrinking and losing its potency. Never mind. At this age, there should still be plenty that should be going on between the two of you to keep sex steamy. In fact, experts say many couples in their 40s say they enjoy making love now more than ever, because there are natural remedies for all sexual challenges both for man and woman. At this point, you and your partner know exactly how to excite each other. The little traditions you have, such as making love on Friday night   and slipping into Saturday morning. By this time, kids are old enough to fend for themselves (if you still have young kids, try a workable way out), so you have some quality time to be together alone.
Remember, when nature’s doing less to push you into the bedroom, just get down and do it. The more you make love, the more you think about making love. And the more you think about making love, the more you want to make love. But shake things up. Now is the perfect time to explore new moves, since after so many years together, you feel comfortable enough to try wonderful play with your mate or to just be erotically close together than ever before. Besides, at this age, men crave for some sexual surprises. So, give your man something to reflect on.
If you’ve been noticing that it takes your husband a little longer to get it up these days, try this twist on the mirror-above-the-bed cliché. Next time you catch him standing in front of a full-length mirror, sneak up to him from behind with a handful of massage oil that heats up on contact, slowly kneel before him and start stroking his penis seductively and slowly while he watches. Before long, the surprise of what he’s feeling combined with the sexy scene he’s watching will have him totally revved up. This has worked for even an 85-year-old husband. It is a trick of the year that has always done the magic even in a case of severe impotency. Men are visual creatures; nothing turns them on like a sexy image and imagination. This helps their imagination to go wild and become a vibrant youth again by just a magic assistance. Don’t stop there; prevent him from turning around to embrace you or from moving his eyes away from the mirror as you continue to stroke him. You can enhance it by wearing a good push-up bra; it will project your breast and make it stand out for his fancy. I am sure that both of you will enter another world, because the more you can surprise and take your husband unawares at this stage, the hotter he’ll get regardless of his age or health or weakness. Spread the sensation further. Since you’ve got all day to please each other, you may as well prolong the pleasure. Nothing stops you from kissing and caressing your husband’s penis until he’s on the verge of orgasm. This act particularly has helped husbands with shrinking penis. Then shift your attention to other parts of his body; alternate between genital and non-genital stimulation until he’s aroused to a state of being hypersensitive. Try and continue doing this for about 10 minutes. The longer you do this, the better. Then push him over the edge of the bed. His climax will radiate like shock waves through his entire body. Many aged couples who have yielded to this advice after visiting my office have never remained the same; you could also be a part. Try it out and discover that even at old age, you are not losing out sexually.
Questions and Answers
My wife wants to dictate our sex life
My wife is a successful, assertive business person. I am thrilled that she is fulfilled in her work, but she brings that same driven mindset home. I can handle the way she manages the household, but not the way she dictates the terms of our sex life. She schedules our sex as if it is part of her agenda. Her driven nature may work great in the business world, but it fails miserably in bed. What should I do?
Mr. Ajuwon, Kogi
Sex should be driven primarily by your relationship, not a production quota. If either partner makes sex a controlled issue, intimacy goes off the bottom of the profit chart. Your wife’s controlling style has worked well for her on the job, and it is hard for her to relinquish it once she gets home. The same controlling behaviour also protects her from relational and emotional issues that are less comfortable for her. It might be a good idea to borrow the terms and methods of relating in the business world, where your wife feels comfortable. Start ‘speaking her language’ by making an appointment with her, through her support staff. When you get together, have a written proposal for her to consider. Begin by affirming her as a successful executive, telling her the things you mentioned in your letter to me. Next, assure her of your support and love (you are not staging a walkout). Then ask her to consider your point of view. Make this statement appropriately clear: You want to have a closer relationship with her; more emotional, and sexual intimacy. Let her know you feel unfulfilled, disregarded and relegated to the status of just one more agenda item. Tell her you want a sense of mutuality in your sex life. Finally, propose a new ‘contract agreement’ that would restore romance and warmth into your partnership. That may require some lunch meetings or weekend conferences in one of the eateries. At the same time, get your wife’s input about how she would like you to be as a husband. She is an assertive person used to taking control. She may be waiting for you to exercise more strength.
By  FUNMI AKINGBADE

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Importance of Bank Verification Number

THE Bank Verification Number, BVN, is an-other important step the Central Bank of Nigeria, CBN, is using to strengthen the security of banking transactions and to ensure that fraudulent transactions are minimised, if not totally eliminated. The campaign is on, but the public may not realise its importance until it closes in June 2015.
Yet as the public embraces the initiative with enthusiasm, it should be aware that some fraudsters are trying to undermine the exercise by providing seemingly easier registration options for bank account holders. They request these details online and threaten that the account would be closed if the owner does not provide them the details. Their target is the account holder’s money. The best way of enrolling remains direct communication with one’s bank.
BVN uses biometric technology to register customers in the financial system.   It records these physical features which are unique to individuals – fingerprints and the face. The record would be used to identify the person afterwards. Once a person’s biometrics have been recorded, and BVN issued, the account would be accessed through BVN. The major objectives of the initiative are to protect bank customers, reduce fraud and strengthen the Nigerian banking system.
Biometric enrolment is helpful to people who cannot read and write. Their finger prints and pictures would serve the same purpose as signatures. Multiple account holders would be covered with a single registration in any of the banks where they have accounts.
BVN will help the banking system reduce situations where loan defaulters, for instance, move from one bank to the other and the banks extend new credits to them, without knowing their history.  Banks would be able to track transactions across all banks in Nigeria with more ease.
As CBN implements the BVN initiative, it has to ensure the security of the data, from rogue bankers and also importantly from damage, as has been the experience with other sectors that engaged in biometric enrolments. It should also create measures to punish banks that might exploit the information they have to blackmail customers with whom they have disagreements.
BVN is a great initiative that would reduce illegal banking transactions and improve national financial intelligence gathering. The interests of account holders should be accorded importance so that their increased confidence in the banking system would improve the financial standing of banks. Customers will use banks more when they know that their transactions are safe. BVN offers vast opportunities to protect customers, banks and the entire financial system.
The CBN should enhance the security of BVN to protect the entire financial system. It should be on the watch for technologies to keep improving BVN capacities.

Monday, May 25, 2015

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD READ THESE 30 RULES FOR GODLY WOMEN

Got this from a friend on FB, I guess is worth reading: 
1). Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect.(Prov 15v1)
2). Don't expose your husband's weaknesses toyour family and friends. It will bounce back at you.You are each other's keeper.(Eph 5v12)
3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them. Defensive women don't have a happy home.(Prov 15v13)
4). Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.
5). Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.(Prov 11v22)
6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.(Gen 2v24)
7). Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.(Eph 5v33)
8). Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.(Deut 3v28)
9). Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.
10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex. You must give it to him how he wants it. Sex is very important to Men, if you keep denying him, it is a matterif time before another woman takes over theat duty. No man can withstand sex starvation for too long(even the anointed ones) (SS 7v12)
11). Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in bedroom, or an Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.(SS 5v9)
12). Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.(Prov 31v23)
13). Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise Women don't do that.(Eph 4v31)
14). Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.(Prov 12v4)
15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
16). Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.( 1 Sam25v3)
17). Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.(Luke 21v16)
18). Never base your love on monetary things.Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?
19). Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him.Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home. (Gal 6v9)
20). If your idea worked better than his, nevercompare yourself to him. Its always teamwork.(Gal 6v10)
21). Don't be too judgemental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.(Eph 4v29)
22). A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath.(Prov 24v27)(Prov 20v13)
23). Does your husband like a kind of cooked food?, try to changeyour cooking. No man jokes with food. (Prov 31v14)
24). Never be too demanding to your husband,enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.(Luke 11v3)
25). Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty. (Prov 31v11)
26). Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.(Prov 22v14)
27). Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.(Heb 13v4)
28). Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.(Prov 22v6)
29). You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your familyfor any reason. (Prov 31v28)
30). A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife,pray always for your husband and family(1 Thess 5v17)

To have or not

The response of about 90 per cent of women to the question of orgasm is that ‘I‘ve never had an orgasm before or I don‘t even know what it is all about.’ This happens each time I have opportunity to talk in most female meetings, or gatherings. Sometimes, some women are not sure if they‘ve been orgasmic, or that they used to be orgasmic, but now they aren‘t. It is expected that such women would want to know what they or their husbands could do.
An orgasm is a reflex response that gets triggered when there is enough build-up of sexual tension from effective stimulation and freedom to go after it without inhibition or fear of being out of control. A lady cannot reach orgasm willy-nilly, but she can encourage or resist it.
Sexual arousal and release (orgasm) are controlled by our involuntary or autonomic nervous system. Arousal, getting “turned-on” or sexually excited, is controlled by the passive branch of our involuntary nervous system. Arousal happens early in sexual play, in our sleep and even throughout the day. Nipple erection and vaginal lubrication are indications of arousal. To get aroused, a lady has to be relaxed and soaking in pleasure, because the passive or relaxed branch of her involuntary nervous system has to dominate.
Orgasm, however, is controlled by the active branch of our involuntary nervous system. As arousal builds to the point where we are just about to go ‘over the edge,‘ our body shifts from the parasympathetic nervous system (the relaxed side of our involuntary nervous system) being dominant to the sympathetic nervous system (the active branch of our involuntary nervous system) being dominant. So, to have an orgasm, we have to get active and go after it. Many women who struggle to be orgasmic tend to remain passive during their sexual experiences, so they don‘t help their bodies make the shift to the active nervous system’s control.
Sexual arousal and release are conditioned responses. If, as a child or young adolescent, you learned to block intense sexual feelings that would have moved you toward orgasm because of guilt or shame, you may, as an adult, continue unknowingly to stop your arousal before it leads to orgasm. Perhaps you learned to be orgasmic by rocking on your pillow to help you fall asleep as a child and now you have no clue how to transfer that form of stimulation into sex with your husband. Or perhaps, you were exposed to pornography or had your first orgasm in response to a negative stimulus, and now you may have to picture that same stimulus to have an orgasm. You are left in a dilemma, either to have an orgasm and feel guilty about the images in your mind or not have an orgasm and feel sexually unsatisfied. Even though a lady‘s body has been designed for sexual arousal and release, various factors may interfere with her ability to respond ‘orgasmically.’ These reasons must be identified and corrected. Any difficulty or inability to reach orgasm after adequate sexual stimulation can be caused by a lady‘s passivity or previous conditioning, by emotional or sexual trauma, or many possible medical factors.
How important is it for you to have orgasms? How do you know if you have ever had one? What happens when you are orgasmic? What happens if you have been trying, and nothing seems to work? These are frequently asked questions that need to be answered as an introduction to releasing orgasmic potential.
First, the importance of orgasms is evident, because rarely does a woman is interested in sex if she is not orgasmic. Initially she will be excited and enjoy sex with her husband, but over time, she will allow less and less sexual intensity to build and start having sex primarily for him. God designed our bodies to respond sexually, and the scripture teaches that the sexual drives of men and women can be fulfilled in marriage.
Intense arousal causes engorgement or a building of sexual tension, in the genitals and throughout the body in general. The engorgement triggers the reflex of the orgasm. The orgasm reflex sets into motion contractions in the lower part of the vagina and the uterus.
If you have been trying and nothing seems to work, you need to follow some important steps towards enhancing responsiveness.
If something were wrong physically, not all the efforts in the world would ever produce an orgasm. Start with hormonal evaluation. You may need to request that your family doctor have your oestrogen or progesterone levels measured. If you are menopausal, hormone replacement therapy may prove beneficial. If you are on a birth-control pill that is high in progestin, which suppresses sexual desire and response, you should switch to a pill that is higher in oestrogen and androgen (testosterone) activity. An oestrogen cream inserted into the vagina with an applicator will increase lubrication and enhance sensation. A one per cent testosterone cream applied on the outside genitals around the clitoris will increase both desire and responsiveness. Your family doctor may have to order and manage these possibilities.
Other factors that may interfere with orgasm and require medical attention include childbirth trauma or pelvic surgery. Low blood flow to the genitals due to smoking or cardiovascular problems may be successfully treated with drugs that increase blood flow. Medications for other conditions may suppress your sexual response. For example, some antidepressants slow down a man‘s ejaculation and do often make it difficult for a woman to have an orgasm. Work with your family doctor to find a medication that treats your depression, without necessarily suppressing sexual response.
Learn to know your body and what feels good to you. Start with a genital self-examination. Then share that discovery with your husband and teach him what type of touch brings you the most pleasure. Discover what conditions you need for sex to be the best it can be for you. As you know and take responsibility to create these conditions, you will more easily free yourself to release your responsiveness. You may resist self-discovery or avoid taking responsibility for your conditions because you believe the myth that if your husband truly loved you, he would automatically know how, where, and when you wanted to be touched and would produce your orgasm for you. Since we as women are much more complex and changeable than men, no man can know and meet our complex and ever-changing sexual needs unless we know ourselves and communicate what our body hungers for in the moment.
Listen to bodily sensations. To know your body and communicate what you need sexually, you have to be attuned to your body‘s sexual messages. You can learn to listen to your body and to become the best authority on your body and your sexuality. Listen all day long. Listen in the shower, when you are going about your daily house chores or at work, and if you have even a flicker of sexual sensation. Listen during sex. Both you and your husband will be happier when you learn to listen to your body and go after what you need while he learns to listen to you and respond to your desires.
Lead by invitation. Sex works best and responsiveness is most likely when the woman leads with her sexuality, not with pressure from her husband. That is because a turned-on woman is usually a turn-on to a man, but a turned-on man can be a demand or pressure to a woman. If you feel like he is typically ahead of you in both sexual activity and intensity, you may shut down because of the demand you feel to catch up. Demand always stifles a sexual response.
Distract from watching. As the saying goes, a watched pot never boils. Even so, a watched woman will not respond sexually. Questions and evaluations either by your husband or by you will put pressure on you and interfere with your natural bodily response. The best distraction is to focus on the sensations of where you are being touched, on the enjoyment of your husband‘s body, and on the receiving of your husband‘s enjoyment of your body. You must redefine your goal to go for higher levels and longer times of pleasure rather than for release.
Get active and go after. Are you withholding from your pleasure because going for your orgasm would be giving in to him? Go for it! Maximise your pleasure. You cannot will an orgasm any more than you can a sneeze, but you can encourage it. When your body gets to the point when it feels like you are about to go over the hill, rather than trying to have an orgasm, work with your body. Practise what we refer to as the orgasmic triggers: when you feel like breathing, breath heavier; when you start gasping, gasp louder; point your toes; throw your head back; make facial grimaces; tighten and relax your vaginal muscles; and thrust your pelvis.
Be deliberate about sex. Most couples need to make time for physical connection if they are going to learn what the woman needs to build her arousal and release her responsiveness. Yet, couples often resist scheduling their times together. They may believe that spontaneity is better. Our consistent finding is that the anticipation of planned sexual times together builds quality and the allotment of those times increases quantity. It is important that some of these planned encounters be for connecting, cuddling, and passionate kissing without intercourse or the building towards release. Freedom to enjoy each other without any expectations is a prerequisite to your getting to know your body and sexuality. Sex doesn‘t always have to mean SEX!
Kiss passionately every day. Daily passionate kissing keeps the pilot light on so that you can more easily turn up the flame. We recommend fifteen minutes a day of face to face intimacy-sharing spiritually and emotionally-that ends in thirty seconds of passionate kissing that does not lead to sex. Many times, women stop kissing passionately because they fear it will lead to sex and they do not want to go there.
Learn to have fun and play together. Focus on what is working rather than on what isn‘t. As you are able to affirm God‘s design of your sexuality, eliminate all physical barriers, and pursue mutual pleasure with your husband. Over time, you will have longer and more intense pleasure and eventually release all the sexual potentials that God intended for you with your husband.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
I get sleepy and lose interest
For years, my wife has told me that conversation is an important part of foreplay for her. I try to stay focused during that time before sex, but I get sleepy and lose interest. The result? My wife gets the conversation she needs, and I don’t get the intercourse I need. I’d feel selfish if I didn’t provide the kind of foreplay she needs, but how can I stay awake long enough to close the deal?
Agbuyinla Sunday
Conversation is an important aspect of foreplay for most women. So the most obvious solution to your dilemma is to find a better time of day to play around. That will allow you to enjoy an unhurried interval for conversation, relaxing foreplay and intercourse that will be satisfying to both of you. This could be earlier in the evening or even before work in the morning. If you live close to the office, you could even schedule a mid-day rendezvous.
If you can express your frustration and ask for your wife’s help, together you may find other creative solutions. Sometimes, it’s hard for men to share their needs openly, seeing such an admission as a sign of weakness or failure. But wives usually want to be as sensitive to their husband’s sexual rhythm and responses as their husbands are to theirs. Your wife is probably thankful for your concern about her needs and will welcome the opportunity to reciprocate.
Another solution for you is to be satisfied by an occasional “quickie”—sex without the lengthy preliminaries. I have found that even a quickie can be mutually enjoyable.
Being sexually satisfied greatly influences your husband’s ability to perform at work.
He almost never ejaculates
My husband does not have a problem getting an erection, nor does he lack the desire to have sex, but he almost never ejaculates. Is it possible for a man to feel satisfied with intercourse without ejaculating? I know he used to be able to ejaculate years ago but cannot now. Can you help us out here? I enjoy sex and want to make sure he does too.
Mrs Adeni Lolobu
It’s important to recognise the full extent of the male sexual response. The arousal phase marked by erection also includes other physiological changes including increase in heart rate and blood pressure, rate of breathing, flushing of the skin, increase in muscle tension, nasal congestion as the “erectile tissue” of the nasal cavity becomes engorged, lubrication of the urethra (producing a sticky discharge from the end of the penis), and a shifting of blood to the pelvic area. As orgasm approaches, all of these changes increase until the orgasmic release occurs. Orgasm is most obviously signalled by ejaculation, the forceful emission of seminal fluid from the penis. This produces only a part of the pleasurable sensation of the orgasm.
These may occur in varying degrees during a particular sexual experience and as a man ages. Consequently, a man may have a satisfying experience without ejaculation. If the other aspects of arousal and orgasm are present, there may be no cause for concern. One explanation for this may be that he is having “retrograde” ejaculations. In this condition, the seminal fluid is directed back up the urethra into the bladder rather than externally out of the penis. But this could be treated if you both so desire. It is also possible for ejaculation to be inhibited by psychological factors (such as fear of pregnancy or financial stress), physical factors (such as fatigue or alcohol use), or as side effects from some medications (such as tranquilizers and antidepressants).
Some scar formation on my penis
I was circumcised as a child. The head of my penis has some ugly scar formation and sometimes when it is fully erect, I feel some slight pain. I am wondering if this will interfere in my sex life. Will it affect the pleasure my partner gets or my own pleasure?
Samuel Mifoluso
Circumcision is an operation where the foreskin is removed. This piece of skin covering the glans contains a lot of nerve endings; it protects the glans and keeps it sensitive. The foreskin plays a mechanical role in sex and makes it comfortable for both partners.
Luckily, a person’s sex-life doesn’t boil down to the sensitivity of the glans; far from it! Researchers asked both circumcised and uncircumcised men and their spouses about their sexual satisfaction and they didn’t find any difference between the two groups. Just make sure you use lots of lubricant because of the scar formation so that you will not be experiencing pain often.
By FUNMI AKINGBADE

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Beware! Coughs, sneezes spread disease

How does it feel being around people who sneeze all the time, especially when they step into bright lights and you end up getting tired of saying “bless you” each time they sneeze, in addition to being worried about the implications for your own health?
Well, the medical world has a name for the condition – it is called photic sneeze reflex.
Physicians say this condition can cause someone to sneeze many times consecutively, and it occurs in 18-35 per cent of humans.
Experts say the condition is passed along genetically as an autosomal dominant trait; and the probable cause is a congenital malfunction in nerve signals in the principal sensory nerve of the head.
Generally, doctors say, sneezing is caused by an irritation of the lining of your nose. According to family physician, Dr. Grace Odeleke, “When you sneeze, it shows that something is probably irritating or tickling the interior of your nose. So, it is your body’s way of removing an irritant from your nose.”
Again, common cold can make you sneeze, in addition to causing a runny nose, nasal congestion, sore throat, cough, headache, or other symptoms.
Indeed, experts say while sneezing may be bothersome, it is rarely a sign of a serious problem; and that sneezing that is not due to an allergy will disappear when the illness that is causing it is treated.
That is not to say that you should expose yourself to sneezing, though; as experts do warn that cold virus spreads through tiny, air droplets that are released when a sick person sneezes, coughs, or blows his nose!
Odeleke warns, “Sneezes contribute to the spread of viruses, germs, and disease, carrying with them whatever ailments and contaminations of the individual through the air and onto objects.”
She advises that when sneezing begins to affect your life and when home remedies do not work, it may be time to see the doctor. This is because the sneezing may not necessarily be due to ‘simple’ irritation but symptoms of allergic rhinitis – a group of symptoms that affect the nose.
Odeleke says these symptoms occur when you breathe in something you are allergic to.
Experts say in some cases, people (especially children) may outgrow an allergy as their immune system becomes less sensitive to the allergen. They, however, warn that once a substance causes allergies, it usually continues to affect the person over the long term.
Scientists say anything that can irritate the inside of your nose can start a sneeze. And such things include dust, cold air, pollution, pepper, insect venom, animal fur, pollen grain from some plants, and even withdrawal from certain drugs, among others.
Despite the negative feelings that those exposed to other people’s sneeze may have, physicians say sneezing is an important part of the immune process, as it helps to keep us healthy.
Allergy and asthma specialist at the Allergic Disease and Asthma Centre in Greenville, South Carolina, Dr. Neil Kao, says, “Sneezes protect your body by clearing the nose of bacteria and viruses.”
She adds that when something enters your nose or you encounter a trigger that sets off the ‘sneeze centre’ in your brain, “signals are rapidly sent to tightly close your throat, eyes, and mouth. Next, your chest muscles vigorously contract, and then your throat muscles quickly relax. As result, air – along with saliva and mucus – is forced out of your mouth and nose. Voila, you’ve sneezed.”
Good sneezing habits
“Do not hold your nose or block your mouth while sneezing. Doing so can cause serious injury. The force and velocity of the average sneeze, if prevented from ejection from the body, can eventually cause hearing loss and damage the blood vessels in your head, especially if you make a habit of stopping a sneeze when it’s already begun,” Odeleke counsels. And, based on a pep talk by experts…
  • If you’re around others, you risk spreading harmful bacteria when you let one (or two or three or maybe even four) out into the air. The ‘spray’ you emit can reach up to five feet away from you! That’s a radius that encompasses a lot of people. So, be careful!
  • If you can, sneeze into a tissue and dispose of the tissue. If a tissue isn’t available, sneeze into your sleeve. If you do end up sneezing into your hands, be sure to wash them afterwards. Your hands touch doorknobs, your face, surfaces, and other people constantly. And, if you happen to be away from water, carry hand sanitiser to save the day.
  • When you’re in a group of people, you’ll surely be given the evil eye if you wind up for a sneeze and deliver with flying success. You’re spreading germs and disrupting the flow, so it’s best to sneeze as discretely as possible.
  • Sneezing into your elbow can diffuse the sound. If that’s not an option, grab a tissue, tilt your head down, and sneeze as quietly as possible.
  • If you have a broken rib, a sneeze can hurt very badly. Exhale as much air from your lungs as you can. This will reduce the amount of pressure placed on your ribs and weaken the sneeze greatly, and the pain will be less.
  • Really, if anything in your core hurts, a sneeze can be the last thing you want to encounter. Take the precautions listed above, but concentrate on the exhale. With little air to expel, your insides won’t lurch, preventing the sneeze from having a longer-lasting effect.
  • Make it a habit to carry a tissue or handkerchief with you at all times, so that you don’t feel the need to withhold a sneeze unnecessarily.
  • If you do sneeze, take precautions to not spread disease. Many doctors now recommend sneezing into the inside of the elbow rather than the hands to discourage the spread of germs. At the very least, you should cover your mouth and nose so as to prevent spraying germs into the air. You can blow mucus into a tissue, then wash your hands as soon after as possible to prevent the spreading of your disease.
  • By SOLAADE AYO-ADERELE

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Watch the drugs you give your baby-A must read for all

Being a parent comes with a load of responsibilities. We do our best to give the best foods, and also to clothe our children for the weather. And when it comes to caring for a sick child, the task gets more daunting.
The awful truth is that before the average Nigerian parents take a sick child to the hospital, they would have explored every other means, especially in terms of buying over-the-counter medications they may think would help the sick child.
Yet, experts warn that there are over-the-counter medications that may end up doing more harm than good for a sick baby! Physicians say certain common medications for some ailments might actually be dangerous for your baby.
They add that children are more sensitive to medications than adults are; and if given the wrong dose, they could be harmed by even some of the most common and seemingly harmless over-the-counter medicines.
Some of the medications that fall into this category, according to paediatricians, include the following…
Chloramphenicol eye drops
For whatever reasons, when a child has cold, it affects the eyes, which can water uncontrollably and be irritated, leading to discomfort for the sick child. Paediatrician, Dr. Mayowa Daniel, says the child may rub the eyes continuously – a situation that sometimes makes mothers settle for eye drops such as chloramphenicol.
Daniel says chloramphenicol eye drops, which is sold across the counter, is an antibacterial eye preparation that is indicated for bacterial eye infections – a common cause of conjunctivitis, for instance.
She explains, “In conjunctivitis, the eye becomes inflamed, feels gritty, and may water more than usual. The white of the eye may look red, and the eyelids can become swollen and stuck together with a discharge when you wake up in the morning. Only one eye may be infected to begin with, but it often spreads to both eyes.”
She says while most cases of infective conjunctivitis clear within a few days without treatment, more severe infections, or infections that do not clear on their own, may require an antibiotic eye drop or ointment such as chloramphenicol which, ideally, should be prescribed by the doctor.
She notes that the problem with buying this drug over the counter is that many people don’t know that it has restrictive use!
“If it is for conjunctivitis in an adult or a child over two years of age, that’s probably okay. But you dare not use chloramphenicol eye drops or ointment for a child under two years of age, unless it has been prescribed by a doctor,” the paediatrician warns.
Many parents don’t know this, hence the need to be careful.
Laxatives
Daniel laments that even among breastfeeding babies, constipation is common. “This is simply because some nursing mothers don’t take enough fibres in their diet; and when a child takes in the breast milk, it affects the baby, hence the nature of the stool he passes,” the paediatrician says.
She, however, warns against the regular use of laxatives – whether among adults or for babies.
She notes, “While laxatives may offer temporary relief, they are not long-term solutions, as they don’t cure constipation. If you use laxatives too much, they could aggravate the constipation and cause other bowel problems as well.
“With prolonged use, the colon can become dependent upon the laxative for evacuation. When the colon has been exposed to laxatives and stool softeners for a long time and then it does not get an expected dose, constipation can occur. In other words, your body may forget how to release waste on its own. So, instead of using laxatives for a constipated baby, try fruit juice or, better still, the entire fruit if the baby can chew.”
Fever medications
For the average Nigerian parent, once a child has a high temperature, the assumption is that he has malaria. And the next line of action is to go get anti-malarial medications, more often without the doctor’s prescription.
Daniel says many parents are not aware of the dangers posed by fever medications that contain Aspirin, warning against using such for babies.
She counsels, “Never give aspirin or any medication containing aspirin to your baby unless the doctor tells you to. Aspirin can make a child susceptible to Reye’s syndrome – a rare illness that children can develop while recovering from a viral infection such as the flu, a cold, or chicken pox. It affects all organs of the body but is most harmful to the brain and the liver. Instead, take the child to the hospital for better diagnosis and treatment.”
Professor of Physiology at the Faculty of Basic Medical Sciences, College of Medical Sciences, University of Calabar, Asuquo Archibong, adds that even by using the common anti-malarial drug, Coartem, things could go wrong.
“Previous studies had reported that administration of Coartem for up to seven days predisposes to hypernatremia (elevated sodium level in the blood) and hypokalemia (lower than normal potassium level in the bloodstream),” Archibong warns.

By SOLAADE AYO-ADERELE

Saturday, May 16, 2015

From the heart of a reader

Recently, I was in my office at about 10am when my staff informed me that I had to sign for the delivery of an item sent in my name. They said the delivery man insisted that it must be me or nothing. When I eventually did as required and opened the item, it was a letter that indicated that if I did not sign for it, it should be returned. And of course by this time, everyone was curious to know the content. Lo and behold, it was a hand written letter. Part of it read, ‘No matter how long you’ve been married, it’s not too late for a great sex life. Thanks for helping us not to give up on our sex life and marriage.’
The writer said, “I was one of the few that predicted the downfall of this column from inception. I was so sure that this column would soon fold up in a matter of weeks because I thought sex was basically an animalistic instinct that should be disregarded because of the frustration I and some other people alike had encountered. But after years of frustration, some dirty infidelity incidents made me swallow my pride and became an ardent reader. Here is my story.
‘I started counting down to my wedding far too early: 429 more days, 428 more days . . . you get the picture.
‘But it wasn’t the wedding I was anticipating. It was the wedding night.
“Unfortunately, my experience didn’t live up to my expectations. Sex was painful, awkward, and embarrassing. Simply put, I was raped under the law of marriage. For several years, it was the main source of conflict in our marriage, leading us both to frustration and infidelity.
‘I’m glad our marriage didn’t stay in that rut for long, and now I’m often the one to suggest that we ‘got to have sex tonight or right away.’ But most couples, at some point or another, feel like they’re sexually incompatible. The truth is that the whole concept of sexual incompatibility is flawed because it implies that our sexuality is something unchangeable or we are static sexual beings or that the two of us may not match.
That’s simply not true.
“God designed sex to be relational and dynamic. If you and your husband are struggling, it’s not because you’re incompatible, it’s just that you both have fundamental sexual issues you need to work out, just like my husband and I. At the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I had several sexual issues. We had information deficit: neither of us knew how to make sex feel good for each other. I had physical issues since I suffered from Vaginismus, a condition that makes the vaginal muscles tense up so that sex becomes painful. In our frustration, neither of us was patient with the other. Our main aim was to get our own needs met. And I had some trust issues due to heartache and hurt in my life. And of course, we were childless for those periods of time.
“When the Sex and Sexuality column went viral, we swallowed our pride and started by tackling the issues one after the other. I literarily put everything to practice; I first started believing that I need sex as often as my husband; and that sex is equally good for me and my husband. I didn’t lose sight of the importance of fore- play, massages, funny whisperings and more romantic gestures. As he did that, my trust in him grew and the brokenness diminished. And as we became more comfortable with each other, my body literally relaxed and to my surprise, I am more of the chaser than the chased now. Meanwhile, we had been to the hospital for treatment because of my Vaginismus over and again with no improvement. We were always fighting right from the hospital room after the treatment. Nothing was helping the situation at all and to worsen it all, we had no kids of our own then.”
Well, my readers, that is a story with a struggling start but a happy ending. Do you have issues you need to work through like my ardent reader did? Here are some strategies for overcoming them.
Firstly, if you found out that you are not really experiencing those sexual fireworks you have heard and expected, you are not alone. Most couples don’t experience honeymoon fireworks. In a survey of 2,000 women that I conducted for my book, Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, I found that couples who had been married for 16, 24 years had the best sex because they had years to get comfortable with one another, even when they had been sexually active prior to their marriage. But when you keep working at it, you will get to a point you never believe you could achieve. When it comes to orgasm, 20 per cent of the women in my survey still struggle to reach climax. Orgasm is not a must for a good sex. If you have one, perfect. If you never experience one, no big deal! Earth shaking orgasm is not a requirement for beautiful sex between you and your husband. It’s easy to mistakenly think that you’re “frigid” because you can’t reach orgasm, or maybe that you “just don’t like sex.” But it’s far more likely that you just haven’t figured it out yet. Be deliberate about listening to your body and telling your husband what you like. Many women hold back because they’re ashamed that they take so long to become aroused, so they don’t ask for what they really need (validation and foreplay). Or they don’t like the way their husbands touch them but are embarrassed to say anything. I think it is best to open up to pleasurable sex with your husband and talk through those embarrassing things. And keep learning! One woman wrote to me, saying that intercourse had lost sensation for her after delivering several children. When she learned how to do Kegel exercises, to use new positions and go a little bit adventurous during sex, those simple tricks just worked magic for her and her husband. Sex became erotic and fun again.
Secondly, though sex isn’t entirely physical, if the physical part doesn’t work, sex won’t work. Whether it is erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, low libido, arousal difficulties, or pain during intercourse, name it, sex often is the physical embodiment of whatever can go wrong. Talk to a sex therapist, male sexual dysfunction can sometimes be a warning sign of something far more serious, like heart disease. Other sexual problems have medical cures too. Testosterone supplements can help men with low libido. Menopause support can help women keep up their sexual function and enjoyment. One woman who wrote me, narrated how she and her husband struggled with her spouse’ low sex drive for over ten years of their marriage. When he went for treatment, his testosterone levels barely registered. After just a few treatments, she said he’s a different person.
The most likely difficult sexual hurdle to overcome is selfishness. Our culture has made sex purely to be only enjoyed by men while wives should be onlookers. Not anymore. You have to redefine bedroom sex between you and your husband from cultural sex. Our culture has also gone overboard not knowing where or when to draw the marginal line. This has made sex purely physical, and pornographic in nature, erotica, and sex-toy shops embody this present day culture. We don’t make love anymore; we use each other. If boys (or girls) start watching porn as teenagers, their sexual arousal becomes paired with an image rather than with a person. Over time, this rewires their brains so that they require pornography or fantasy to perform. That’s why Italian researchers have found that porn and pornography-induced masturbation are now the leading causes of erectile dysfunction.
Unduly withholding sex has destroyed many beautiful homes. If one spouse withholds sex from the other, that person is denying something his or her spouse desperately needs. Many spouses do not know that their partner’s sexuality is so closely linked to their identity, feelings of self-worth and high or low level of productivity. Rejection, pain and wounds many spouses have experienced have in one way or the other had an exaggerated impact on their sexuality. Those who have been physically or mentally molested often struggle with the idea of sex being an intimate, positive experience. Many of Nigerian couples grew up in a family where sex was never talked about and often portrayed as shameful. To such wife or husband, embracing their sexuality can be far more complicated than required and that is the reason why both partners must validate themselves. We all need to be loved. The measure of need may vary but the need is the same.
Spouses should encourage their partners to open up about their struggles with marital sex. Patiently work on the solution for each other’s wholeness. When you grow together as soul mates, you’re often drawn together sexually too, which takes away some of the shame. All of us have issues, sexual hurdles don’t mean that your sex life and your marriage are destined for failure. It is not applying provided solution that will make our marriages fail. Until next week, I remain your loyal bedroom instructor. Have a splendid sex-filled weekend.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
I envy my children’s sex lives
My husband and I have hit middle age, and suddenly, his erections seem less firm and his libido has dropped drastically. He says this is normal, but sex is not just the same for me as before, this is the time I want it every now and then. Moreover, I am even ashamed to admit to myself that I am more active sexually now than ever and I sometimes even envy my children’s sex life and activities. Sometimes, I secretly ask them to tell me about their sexual activities (pretending to be interested in their relationship) only to get myself aroused and masturbate afterwards.
Funmi, please be honest with me, is this normal?
Mrs. Salomen Iniowo
First, it is very normal for you to be more active sexually now than ever because it is part of aging for women. Also, you are more peaceful emotionally, even though there is no need for you to envy your children’s sex lives because you can experience same. Most males after middle age experience changes in sexual function. They may not develop an erection as quickly or as often as before. Their erections may not be as firm. They may not maintain the maximum erection. Ejaculation may not occur as quickly and there is typically less volume of semen, but sex can still happen.
These changes usually develop slowly and may not always occur to the same degree. In other words, the erect penis may be larger and firmer one day, but not the next. Sometimes other factors affect a man’s system: fatigue, alcohol use, and some types of medications, dejection and anxiety, mainly “performance anxiety.” Actually, this problem of performance anxiety is a good reason for you not to express your concern about your husband’s erectile changes in derogatory terms or accusatory tones, but rather find a way around it.
If you do, it will make him have low sex-self-esteem which could make him worry more about loss of potency and make normal sexual function even more difficult. On the positive side, some couples find that the changes in a husband allow him to last longer in intercourse, which can potentially provide greater stimulation for his wife. Your husband is extremely interested in and perhaps anxious about your reactions to his problem. He’s also probably very sensitive about it. Be as reassuring as you can about your love, admiration and respect. Eliminate words that might be interpreted by him as rejection. A problem like this calls for teamwork, however, when changes in erectile ability are creating serious tension between spouses, it’s a good idea to consult a sex therapist. Recently, I have in addition found out some natural researched herbs with no side effect from Seychelles that can cure and also slow down erectile dysfunction to a very large extent. For more detailed information about these herbs, please call me.
What is the standard size of the vagina?
Does the vagina have a standard shape and size? What can help me to have orgasms?
Eunice Bello
The vagina is an elastic, muscular canal with a soft, flexible lining that provides lubrication and sensation. The vagina connects the uterus to the outside world; the vulva and labia form the entrance and the cervix of the uterus protrudes into the vagina, forming the interior end.
The vagina receives the penis during sexual intercourse and also serves as a conduit for menstrual flow from the uterus. During childbirth, the baby passes through the vagina (birth canal).The hymen is a thin membrane of tissue that surrounds and narrows the vaginal opening. It may be torn or ruptured by sexual activity or by exercise. Research indicates there’s no standard size or shape for a woman’s vagina. Factors such as age and height help determine the dimensions of an adult woman’s vagina. Kegels are exercises in which you squeeze the muscles around your vagina as if you were trying to stop the flow of urine. Also called pelvic floor exercises, Kegels can help prevent urine leakage as well as accidental passing of stool or gas by keeping the uterus, urethra (the tube that carries urine outside the body from the bladder), and bowel from sagging into the vagina. Strengthening these muscles may improve orgasms.
How can I see my wife as attractive?
Since I was a teenager, I have been conditioned to think that overweight women are sexually unattractive. This is causing a problem with my sexual performance because my wife is now very overweight. All the other areas of our marriage are healthy, but as you can imagine, the sexual area affects everything in some way. Occasionally, I fantasise about my wife when she was slim, but this leads to thinking about other women. How can I see my wife as attractive?
Obey Holland
Three factors are frequently associated with weight gain in women: pregnancy and childbirth, genetic patterns, and eating associated with emotional issues. The third is where attitudes about sex exert their influence.
Whatever the cause of obesity, there can be effective control. I know from experience that this isn’t easy or quick, but it is possible. Try and help your wife recognise that this is a problem she can successfully overcome with your assistance and support. First, a thorough evaluation is the starting point. She needs to discover what easily increases her weight followed by realistic decision to do away with such things. Whatever decision she takes, it must involve exercise and changing eating habits.
I haven’t forgotten your original question, but I do think both issues need to be addressed: your wife’s weight problem and your desire to change your thinking to “see your wife as attractive.” Our culture makes that very difficult. If you have to help her gain that weight back, you also must help yourself retain a healthy sex life. For now, you have to avoid seductive movies and pornography that make you only to fantasise about slim women.
By FUNMI AKINGBADE

Friday, May 15, 2015

Eating breakfast could save you from heart attack

Many people view breakfast as a bore; while some think it’s a mark of endurance to forgo the first meal of the day. It’s not unusual to hear such people inform those who care to listen that they’ve not eaten anything all day.
Bad as it is, when breakfast skippers finally decide to eat their first meal, the tendency is for them to overreach themselves by combining two meals, thus eating more than necessary at one sitting.
Indeed, experts say one in four people skip breakfast during the week; while at least one in six adults don’t even bother to eat breakfast.
Yet, if you are fond of skipping breakfasts, researchers have bad news for you, especially if you are male.
A team of American researchers submit that “men who skip breakfast may face a higher risk of heart attack or deadly heart disease.”
In a study of nearly 27,000 men, the scientists discovered that those who failed to eat in the morning had a 27 per cent higher risk of heart attack or death from coronary heart disease than those who did.
The subjects, ranging in age from 45 to 82, took part in a survey about food that tracked health outcomes from 1992 to 2008.
The researchers note that those who skipped breakfast tended to be young and were “more likely to be smokers, employed full time, unmarried, less physically active and drank more alcohol.”
Lead study author and a researcher at the Harvard School of Public Health, Dr. Leah Cahill, contends that, “Skipping breakfast may lead to one or more risk factors, including obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes, which may in turn lead to a heart attack over time.”
According to the researchers, the men who said they ate breakfast also appeared to eat one more time per day than those who did not, suggesting that those who skipped breakfast did not make up for the lack of food later.
Another researcher with the MRC Clinical Science Centre at Imperial College, London, Dr. Tony Goldstone, found that skipping breakfast not only leads to larger meals later in the day, but it also contributes to cravings and a greater willingness to eat unhealthy food.
Goldstone enthuses that by skipping breakfast, you become vulnerable to being more tempted to eat unhealthy, high-calorie foods. Eating a good breakfast, he counsels, will save you from craving the forbidden.
Scientists at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, USA, support this. They note that generally, hunger sets in long before it’s time for lunch. However, because the time may not be convenient to eat properly, many people who have not eaten breakfast take to snacking on fatty and sugary foods, which are likely to contribute to weight gain.
Clinical Biochemist and Products Manager (Diagnostics), New Heights Pharma, Mr. Olayinka Ebenezer, explains that eating breakfast may not only prevent possible heart attack, but it also has many advantages for men, women and children.
A nutritionist, Dr. Wande Brown, notes that when you take nothing for breakfast, you have the tendency to underperform on short-term memory tests, compared to those who have had their first meal.
Ebenezer explains that our brains need fuel to work properly, but it is good food that works like fuel in the human body. Thus, when you eat good meal in the morning, it gets you ready for the day.
He notes, “The longer you go without eating, the more your body starts to slow and wind down. As time goes on, your thoughts, speech and reaction time begin to sputter until it comes to a standstill.”
For growing children, paediatricians say kids and teenagers that eat breakfast have more energy, do better in school, and eat healthier throughout the day. “Without breakfast, people can get irritable, restless, and tired,” family doctor, Tolani George, counsels.
Moreover, the Johns Hopkins scientists note that, among children of school age, breakfast provides the energy and nutrients that lead to increased concentration in the classroom.
They fear that people who skip breakfast are unlikely to meet their daily requirement for some vitamins and minerals, which a simple breakfast would have provided.
All the experts agree that breakfast provides energy for necessary activities during the morning and therefore helps to prevent mid-morning slump, which the absence of a breakfast would have caused.
In terms of weight control, nutritionists say contrary to what dieters might think, skipping breakfast will counter all their efforts at maintaining a healthy weight, and lead to the exact opposite of what they are aiming at.
Indeed, experts argue that breakfast keeps the metabolism running higher because skipping meals causes the body to kick into ‘starvation’ mode. Consequently, scientists say, you are more likely to overcompensate for the loss of calories at breakfast by eating more high-fat foods later in the day.
A study that focused on people ages 12 and up, presented at the Experimental Biology Conference in Orlando, Florida, found that what you eat for breakfast may play a more significant role in weight maintenance than your total calorie intake.
The lead researcher/Professor of Nutritional Epidemiology at the University of California at Berkeley, Dr. Gladys Block, advises that high-fibre, low fat breakfasts promote maintenance of healthy body weight and therefore should be preferred.
The scientists are unanimous in their conclusion: “Don’t skip breakfast, because eating breakfast is associated with a decreased risk of heart attack.”