Saturday, March 28, 2015

Sperm count: A reality, misconception or a myth?

I have received countless of mails, text messages and calls from our ardent readers all over the globe wanting to know what could be done to correct insufficient sperm count, sperm motility and semen volume problems. Many want to know why the semen is less in volume as they grow old, or why some semen are either coloured with blood or cloudy. Many want to know the ideal colour of the semen and why some never ejaculate any at all.
We will be providing relevant information on sperm, semen and sexuality. Sit back, read and enjoy with your wife.
There are a lot of people who use the term sperm and semen interchangeably and truly believe that they are one of the same. First, I want to clarify this myth. They are not the same but they do bear several similarities. Let’s take a look at some of the things these two terms have in common.
Sperm for instance has a tail and a head and takes over 70 days to develop. It is produced solely in the testicles. The head actually contains the DNA which is the blueprint for human life. In other words, when the sperm mates with the female egg, it is the head part that enters the egg to create a baby. Sperms produced by the testes represent two to five per cent of the semen volume. The concentration of sperm in an ejaculation should be at least 20 million per ml, even though the total volume of semen should be at least 2ml. The total number of sperm ejaculated should be at least 40 million and at least 75 per cent of the sperm should be alive and at least 30 per cent of the sperm should be of normal shape and form while at least 25 per cent of the sperm should be swimming with rapid forward movement. Howbeit, it must have an indication of fertilising capacity. On an average ejaculation, a man expels 2 to 5ml containing 200 to 300 million sperm.
Whereas the semen, also called seminal fluid, is the whitish fluid which occasionally appears yellowish [if you don’t drink enough water regularly] is released from the male reproductive tract that contains both sperm and liquid. During ejaculation, some liquid from the prostate gland and seminal pipe dilute the sperm and provide a suitable slightly alkaline environment. Lower volumes of semen may occur after very frequent ejaculation and higher volumes are seen after prolonged abstinence. Semen clots almost immediately after ejaculation, forming a sticky, jelly-like liquid. It will turn to liquid again in 5 to 40 minutes. So, men that complain that their sperm is watery should kindly take note of the timing. If you start noticing it watery five minutes after ejaculation, you may be nursing a misconception.
Both semen and sperm are produced by the male testicles, the fluid produced by the testicles contains several chemicals, but it is particularly rich in testosterone. The sperm is created by the body for the purpose of procreating while semen is created for protecting sperm as it travels through the female reproductive system. Another way to look at this is that semen is really like a bodyguard and its purpose is to take sperm to its destination unharmed.
The male body only produces a certain amount of sperm cells, the quantity of which cannot be changed very much. The volume of semen, unlike sperm, can be increased significantly with changes in diet and life style or using supplements specifically formulated to increase semen volume. Kindly call me for these natural supplements. Even when men undergo vasectomy surgery, the volume of the semen may still be relatively voluminous while there is a drastically or total reduction of sperm. The advantage of increasing semen volume is that it can protect the sperm better and thus increasing the chances of fertilising the female egg. This helps to increase male fertility.
In addition, greater volume of semen drastically increases the intensity of the male orgasm. The more semen a man has to ejaculate, the longer it takes and more contraction are required to ejaculate it. Therefore, semen is sperm combined with bodily sugars which give it the ability to shoot out the way it does. That way, husbands have better chances of getting their wives pregnant. Although ejaculation of semen accompanies orgasm and sexual pleasure, erection and orgasm are controlled by separate mechanisms and semen emission is not essentially for enjoyable sex in most people.
Many of our readers have asked, ‘how long do sperm live? Really, it depends on a number of factors, the most important of which is where the sperm is located at that particular time. If on a dry surface, such as clothing or bedding, they are dead by the time the semen has dried. If in water, sperm will likely live longer because they thrive in warm, wet environments. Inside the vagina, they can live for up to five days depending on the conditions of the vagina. If the environment of the vagina is not healthy, sperm will die by the second. If the vagina is too wide, the sperm pour out immediately the man pulls off and spill and die instantly. If couples have sex even a few days before the wife’s ovulation, there is a chance of achieving a pregnancy.
A couple once asked me, ‘Madam, how many sperm do we need to achieve a pregnancy?’ It takes just one sperm to fertilise an egg and achieve pregnancy, but for each particular sperm to reach and fertilise an egg, it takes lots of effort like swimming well to its destination and there are millions of sperm competing for such. The average ejaculation contains close to 100 million sperm, according to the World Health Organisation, but men who have fewer than 20 million sperm per millilitre of semen may be at risk for having infertility issues.
A curious couple asked, ‘Why are so many sperm released if it takes only one to make a baby? To meet the waiting egg, the semen must travel from the vagina via the fallopian tubes, and this is essentially a strenuous journey that eventually few sperm survive due to the fact that they die easily. Besides those who eventually complete the trip, penetration of the egg is still not easy at all. Because the egg is covered by a thick layer that makes fertilization difficult, experts believe this process may be nature’s way of allowing only the healthiest sperm to fertilise the egg, thereby providing the best chances to produce a healthy baby. So the bone of contention here is that it is very paramount for a man to produce enough fit sperm cell with healthy semen.
Countless of couples have asked me over and again, ‘Is there anything a man can do to improve the health of his sperm? Yes; many of the things men do to keep themselves healthy can also improve the health of their sperm. This they do primarily by adopting a healthy lifestyle and maintaining a healthy weight with a balanced diet and regular exercise; avoid smoking or abuse of drugs. Keep alcohol consumption within recommended limits. Try to avoid exposure to industrial and occupational hazards by following safety procedures and wearing protective clothing. Avoid exposure to sexually transmitted diseases, wearing boxers/shorts or immersing the testicles in cold water will improve semen quality as stress reduces semen quality.
Lastly, frequently going for semen analysis just to be on the safe side cannot be over-emphasized. A couple once asked me why it is necessary to do semen analysis. Semen analysis is a test that helps determine the causes of infertility; it provides information about sperm and semen. Here are some of the things the doctor looks for: amount and thickness of semen, the typical ejaculation is 2-6 milliliters of semen, or around a half teaspoon to one teaspoon. Anything less than this indicates that the semen may not contain enough sperm to achieve a pregnancy. And even more than enough semen indicates that the semen could dilute the concentration of sperm and may not be healthy either. Semen should be thick to start with and become thinner 10 to 15 minutes after ejaculation. Semen that stays thick may make it difficult for sperm to move. They also look out for sperm concentration, also called sperm density. This is the number of sperm in millions per millilitre of semen. Twenty million or more sperm per ml is considered normal. They look out for sperm motility; this is the percentage of sperm in a sample that are moving as well as an assessment of their movement. One hour after ejaculation, at least 50 per cent of sperm should be moving forward in a straight line. While the last thing they look out for is the morphology. This is just an analysis of the sperm size, shape, and appearance. Semen analysis is also used to check for the presence of sperm following vasectomy.
I had an elderly couple, both of them are way into their 60s; they wanted to know if men stop making sperm when they are older. Good news, unlike women whose fertility ends at menopause, men can continue to be fertile throughout life. Although sperm production decreases with age, men continue to produce sperm, and even elderly men have fathered children. There are various causes of drop in sperm count and increase in male infertility and I usually tell couples still wanting to have children to make sure these causes are treated and avoided.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
She sweats profusely at the peak of orgasm and this drives me nuts
I am in a dilemma between continuing having sex with my wife and looking for another mistress for sex. Please understand that my wife is one of the best that one can ever ask for in bed but what drives me nuts is the fact that she sweats too profusely at the peak of her climax so bad and the sweat stinks so much even after she must have had thorough scrubbing before sex. My question is, why this unusual sweating only at the peak of her reaching orgasm? I have had sex with few other ladies and this is not the case. So, I am thinking of keeping a mistress because I can’t stand the stench oozing out of her sweat whenever this happens, help.
Mr Jamiu Jamaica
Sweat itself doesn’t stink. It’s the bacteria on our skin that makes it funny. Sweat is the body’s way of cooling itself down. I think one of the reasons your wife would sweat so profusely at the peak of orgasm is because people’s emotions can also affect the sweat glands. We sweat when we’re nervous, tense and elated. The solution to this is not only using a good body deodorant but having sex in a cool environment. Make sure the fan or the air-condition is on. This is one way your wife reacts to her sexual satisfaction; encourage her instead of getting a new mistress.
I fart from my vagina and I am still a virgin
I am a 19-year-old virgin. I have never been sexually active and I fart more than 30 times from my vagina on a daily basis. I do Kegel exercise but the condition still remains the same. Please, what is the way out?
Cynthia Udomajo
Watch the type of food items you eat. Many of these food items may be the reason for the farting. Apply vaginal tightening cream; it will help a lot but still continue with the Kegel exercise.
My case is profuse vaginal discharge
What is the importance of this discharge? I feel so uncomfortable each time I have to change my underwear. I have not even started my menstrual cycle, yet I discharge a lot. Are these discharges safe?
Nonoabi John
Normal vaginal discharge has a lot of benefits. It keeps the vagina clean and moist and helps prevent infection. It should be clear, white, or off-white. It shouldn’t itch or burn. Discharge that causes discomfort or is green, yellow, has a strong odour, or looks like cottage cheese or pus can mean an infection. A normal vaginal discharge can start six months to a year before a girl starts her period.

By Funmi Akingbade

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The good and the bad about genital piercing....Does it enhance sexual performance?

I have received several mails and messages from couples wanting to know if genital piercing actually enhances good sexual performance. A particular wife said her husband prefers her to wear her wedding ring on the tip of her clitoris rather than the second index finger on her left hand.
Genital piercing among some particular set of men and women is seen as a form of body adornment. They argue that it is similar to other, more visible types of body piercings like the ear, nose or lip piercing.
In genital piercing, a needle is used to make a hole into the desired part of the genitals and a piece of jewellery is attached to the body by threading it through the hole. Most times because the piercing is usually carried out around the genital areas, it is not advisable to go for such but for the sake of those that feel they are under marital obligation to perform such procedure, it is advisable not to have a piercing done at places where only piercing gun is used. This is simply because the piercing gun comes with a lot of health risk.
One of the most common types of female genital piercings is done on the clitoris. This kind of piercing typically takes four to six weeks to heal. The clitoris itself is seldom pierced directly. But most women’s clitoris is not large enough to support jewellery. Also, there is a very high risk of nerve damage if the clitoris is pierced. Some piercing is done to the outer or inner lip of the vagina.
One of the most common male genital piercings is the Prince Albert type, a ring is inserted through the urethra at the tip of the penis and then out through the bottom of the glans of the penis, which is the rounded head. After the piercing heals, the ring increases sensitivity of the pierced area, enhancing sexual pleasure for some men. Sometimes the upper side of the head of the penis, the foreskin or the rim of the glans on circumcised men could also be pierced, but it has been discovered that these other types make intercourse difficult. Another one is carried out on the scrotum. This piercing is considered more decorative than a sexual enhancement.
First and foremost let us look into the daily maintenance routine. When you pierce your genitals, it’s important not to handle or let others handle the genital while it is healing. Sometimes you may have to stay off work or business till it is permanently healed. While the piercing is undergoing healing process, you must always wash your hands before touching or cleaning the genital area, and you have to make sure your defecation is not done with straining. You must avoid sexual intercourse for at least two weeks after a piercing. When you do have sex, you must always clean the pierced area with saline solution afterward to prevent infection. If you are a man, you must use a condom or other barrier protection. When engaging in sexual activity, always to prevent it from injuring your wife. If the piercing is located near the urethra, you have to always clean the area prior to urination and rub it with some baby oil. Remember that infections can occur at the site of the piercing even after it has healed due to vigorous thrusting in and out. Bacteria can enter under the skin at that point. So you must always watch for signs of infection such as redness, swelling, discharge, bad smell, some rashes at or around the piercing site and fever.
Are there risks associated with genital piercings? Yes there are, as a matter of fact, health professionals point out that the practice is not without risk and should not be considered lightly. The most common complications associated with genital piercing include bacterial infection, bleeding, nerve damage, allergic reaction to the jewellery and thick scarring at the piercing site. There is also a potential risk of hepatitis B and C as well as HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases. Particularly with male piercings, there is a risk of narrowing of the urethra as a result of scar tissue. Impotence is also a potential risk if the needle mistakenly pierces the erectile tissue. It has been observed that many years after the procedure is carried out, many people who got pierced always show sign of regrets and discouragement. People with chronic medical conditions should seek medical advice about piercing beforehand. And if you have to pierce any part of your genitals, the piercing should always be done by a licenced professional. I am sure you may likely want to think twice before going for genital piercing.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Breaking news: Airbus A320 Crashes In French Alps

A plane carrying 148 people has crashed in southern France today, Tuesday, March 24.
Airbus A320 flying from Barcelona to Dusseldorf disappeared from radar before crashing in the French Alps, The Telegraph reports.
President Francois Hollande confirmed the information saying that “there are not thought to be any survivors”.
This is the first major disaster involving a Germanwings aircraft. The low-cost airline was founded in 2002.
Recent years have been marked by several air tragedies around the world. The world is in shock. People are taking to social media to condole with the families of the victims.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Handy information from sex researchers

One thing that is very obvious about life is that it is not static; everything in life appreciates and information increases. Today, we shall be looking at some information from sex researchers and I have gathered some of these facts, especially in the patterns of men and women’s sex drive. Couples should bear it in mind that individuals may vary from these norms. According to the National Opinion Research Centre, the average couple reports having sex 66 times a year. Couples under the age 30 say they have sex an average of 109 times a year. The average number drops to 70 times a year for couples in their 40s and 52 times a year for couples in their 50s.
Experts say that sex drive differs between men and women. They say women’s sexual inclinations are more complicated than men’s. While men may be rigid and specific about what they are aroused by, women have less-directed sex drives. Researchers say women are more likely to be influenced by irrelevant things and factors. Sexual desire in women is extremely sensitive to the environment and context.
Experts say men’s libido is higher, while women’s sex drive is more about intimacy. However, it does not mean that men do not seek intimacy, love and connection in a relationship just as women do. Most men crave more foreplay, but view the role of sex differently.
Women want to talk first, connect first, and then have sex. For men, sex is the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side.
It is their language of intimacy. Study after study illustrate that a man’s sex drive is not only stronger than a woman’s, it is also much more straightforward. The sources of women’s libido, by contrast, are much more difficult to pin down. It is common wisdom that women place more value on emotional connection as a spark of sexual desire.
Men want sex more often than women at the start of a relationship, in the middle of it, and after many years of it.
About two-thirds of men say they masturbate, even though they feel guilty about it. But they are forced to masturbate because they are constantly being denied sex by their wives. Over 80 per cent of married men confessed having cheated on their wives, though, they say they feel guilty about it. But they also gave reason for this – their wives’ deliberate insensitivities to their sexual fantasies and need. They also blame it on their wives’ tastelessness and lack of innovation.
Men and women travel slightly different paths to arrive at sexual desire.
I hear women say in my office that sexual desire originates much more between their ears than between their legs. For most married women, there is a need for a plan; hence, the romance, affection and foreplay. It is more about the anticipation, how you get there; it is the longing that is the fuel for desire. Women’s desire is more contextual, more subjective, more layered on a lattice of emotion. Men, by contrast, don’t need to have nearly as much imagination, since sex is simpler and more straightforward for them.
Most married women are more influenced by their peer group in their decisions about sex. Wives who are not ‘religious’ are likely to have liberal attitudes towards sex, they let go and release themselves to the pleasure sex has to offer than the more ‘religious’ ones. Married women with higher education levels are more likely to have performed a wider variety of sexual practices, but education makes less of a difference with men. Women are more likely to show inconsistency between their expressed values about sexual activities.
Most married women under the age of 60 think about sex less than once a day.
While the majority of married men under 60 years think about sex at least once a day, only about one-quarter of married women report this level of frequency. As men and women age, each fantasises less, but married men still fantasise about twice as often as women. Men reported more spontaneous sexual arousal and had more frequent and varied fantasies. There are natural libido enhancers that can help women; please contact me.
Older married women are more likely to experience orgasm when sex is within the context of a faithful and loving relationship.
Married women over 50 are more likely to report orgasm when a sexual event takes place in a totally strange environment. Researchers speculate that coming together of long separated partners may find the novelty of a new experience arousing.
Most second round sex is safe and healthy, sex therapists say. In addition, it can improve sexual function and relationships by teaching both spouses about their own sexual responses, so they are better able to explain to their partner what feels good to them. However, a spouse who becomes too obsessed with third round sex may develop sexual problems or lose interest in sex with their partners.
Women experience orgasms differently than men, while researchers find it tricky to try to quantify issues like the differing quality of male vs. female orgasms. There is a data on how long it takes men and women to get there. Men, on average, take 4 minutes from the point of entry until ejaculation; [ideal time should be at least 10 minutes], anything lower than this is considered to be premature ejaculation. If you suffer premature ejaculation, please contact me.
Women usually take around 15 to 18 minutes to reach orgasm. That is another difference between the sexes on how often they have an orgasm during sex. Among married men 75 per cent of them report that they always have an orgasm with their wives while 29 per cent of married women report that they always have an orgasm with their husbands.
Most married women cannot have an orgasm without direct stimulation of the clitoris, so they need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. For women who have trouble achieving orgasm, incorporating clitoral stimulation into sexual activity may be all that is necessary. The G-spot is a sexually sensitive part of a woman’s anatomy found in the anterior vaginal wall.
The G-spot is a region found behind the pubic bone that has been credited as the trigger for a vaginal (vs. clitoral) orgasm, and even a catalyst for female ejaculation. However, some experts note that there is no unique anatomical structure where the G-spot is supposed to be located. If the G-spot exists, it is best described as an erogenous zone rather than a part of a woman’s anatomy.
A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that the duration before an average married man ejaculates during sexual intercourse from the beginning of vaginal penetration until ejaculation was 7.4 minutes, while the appropriate time should be 12 to 15 minutes. The average penis length is between 8 and 10 inches when erected and averages around 4.6 inches when flaccid. A man’s flaccid penis varies in size considerably because of various environmental factors and their effects on the sympathetic nervous system. Cold water and cold air are perhaps the best known causes of this “shrinkage” phenomenon, but psychological stress can do the same thing. It is advisable to stay off stress.
Only 10 per cent of married men reported a preference for oral sex to achieve orgasm, while 6 per cent of married women reported that preference. Men are more likely to reach orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse, but women are more likely to reach orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts that include vaginal intercourse or real foreplay sex.
Masturbation can cause injury; frequent or overly vigorous masturbation can irritate the skin of the penis, and men who masturbate facedown can injure their urethras. This has been a major cause of erectile dysfunction for many who masturbate.
Sexual activity can reduce the risk of stroke and heart attack in older couples.
While couples with a history of stroke or heart disease should consult their sex therapist about sexual activity, for the most part, sex is a healthy form of exercise for older people. Researchers who tracked 914 married men for 20 years found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half, compared with those who had sex less than once a month. They also found out that the frequency of sex intercourse was not associated with stroke.
Questions and Answers
Is her money a blessing or a curse?
I met and married my wife while both of us were still in the banking service but due to the fact that the banking system does not allow both husband and wife to work together in the same service, my wife volunteered to resign her job as a banker to go into a small business so as to manage the home front and take care of our toddlers. Things picked up well in the business and she’s doing great. However, we are beginning to have a rift over the money she makes from the business. Though she did not say this verbally but through her actions, I discovered that she does not only hide the gain she makes in the business but has been buying lots of landed properties in her name or our children’s names without my knowledge. The last time I confronted her about it, she said she did not know how I’ve been spending my money and therefore wondered why she should give any financial account to me since it was her money. I think as her husband, I have the right to know how she spends the money she makes or am I expecting too much? This has greatly affected our sex life to the extent that until I literarily beg her for sex, she sees no reason why she should have sex with me. But before now, she was the one with a higher sex drive and most times, I had to run from her sexual demands. Is her money a blessing or a curse? What should I do?
Sammy Agifidigo
There is no smoke without fire, so goes an adage. Naturally, many things must have been responsible for your wife’s actions. We are in a world and system where surprises spring up daily and these surprises either teach people to be wise or destroy them. New wives learn some things from their mother’s marital experiences, from friends’ encounters and sometimes, even from their husband’s reactions to life challenges and demands. Maybe real life issues made your wife to make such decisions, and maybe you are just discovering a new person altogether. The few questions I would love to ask are these: what is your own stand with money issues? Are you honest with your wife over money matters? Do you spend more on your own extended families than your immediate ones? Were you stingy or liberal with money when you were earning more than her? What was the agreement between you while the business was kicking off? What is your stand on money matters as a couple? When these questions are answered, then you both can sit and talk as a couple to know the way forward. When this is wisely tackled, your sexual harmony will eventually come around.
My husband is under undue pressure.
I am currently nursing our first child and as much as I want to make love to my husband, I just cannot do it because I have discovered that I have a pelvic inflammatory disease. As a result of this, my husband is under undue sexual pressure. What can I do, is there any way out?
Modinatu Arepoloya
Pelvic inflammatory though can be very painful with excruciating pain but at the same time, it can be treated and cured. What you need to do first is to get treated and cured. While you are undergoing the treatment [which may sometimes take a while], there are other ways you could help your husband ease himself from the undue sexual pressure he is in. One, you can give him some non-sexual pleasure such as good love play or foreplay. By this, he will be a bit relieved momentarily. Second, you can both take time out to just relax in each other’s arms and find solace with one another. When you show him you are genuinely interested in him by doing these gestures, he will be encouraged to hold on a little while for you. But you need to treat yourself first so as to fully perform your marital obligations without any pains.
Latent volcano is preventing me from marriage
Latent volcano, that’s the apt description of my fiancé’s temper. He is a nice man and we have been together for close to seven years now and each time we pick a date for our wedding ceremony, my parents are always finding one reason or the other to make sure it does not hold. They are torn apart over whether I should marry him or not. Mum says ‘No! If you marry him, he’ll kill you one day; his temper is destructive.’ While my dad says, ‘Go ahead and marry, there is no perfect human being anywhere; you’re 42 and shouldn’t be too choosy. With time, his temper will calm down.’ But will it? Truly, he’s loving, warm and generous to a fault, except for this. Latent volcano; should I or should I not?
Hmmm! The act of changing someone does not lay with anyone. Whatever character deficiency you see in your spouse while you are in courtship and you feel you can’t manage it, it’s better you have a rethink about your choice. It would be an unrealistic expectation if you expect such character deficiency to disappear in marriage, regardless of the level of love he professes to you. As for your parents’ views, it’s good to take advice from them, but the ball still lays in your court. You are the one that is going into that marriage and experience everything in it, either good or bad. So you need to make your choice which is, if you think you can cope, then go for it. But if otherwise, then you know the option. But bear it in mind that however long the duration of a courtship takes, it cannot be compared to a lifelong marriage. And the emotional trauma of a broken courtship can never be compared with an hypertensive until-death-do-us-apart marriage. A word is enough for the wise.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Having better penis performances (II)

This week, we will be concluding on how best men can cultivate good penis maintenance culture. Before anything else, I would like to submit here that it is very important not to believe what other men say about their performance. This is because many men create distorted pictures of high level of sexual and penis performance, thus making other men wind up thinking that their sex life is missing something. No! this is far from the truth most of the time.
It is not true that great sex universally produces the same feeling and experience for everyone. As a matter of fact, great sex is in the eye of the beholder, inasmuch as men think about sex approximately 19 times per day. For many husbands, great sex might be the ability to produce fantabulous multiple orgasms in their wives; it could also be by being able to last for uninterrupted strong 15 minutes thrusting, which is the ideal timing for good ejaculation. This is not only needful but healthy for the penis. Now, if you have difficulty reaching this level, you may call me for the natural technicality and methods. The inability to differentiate universal differences makes men to be plagued with self-doubt, clinging to myths and misperceptions about sex, sexuality, and penis performance level.
One of the reasons the penis performs badly is when the man thinks that his wife is always ready for sex or that sex with his wife should always end in orgasm. When you mentally condition your penis to perform that way and the penis meets up with an unwilling co-pilot and this situation goes on for a while, the penis loses its potentiality, strength and confidence. So instead of pairing up the penis with an unwilling vagina, first prepare a willing vagina.
Begin with a pillow talk and make the vagina to be fully expectant after which you introduce the penis. By this action, the penis performance is always pronounced, because it is focusing more on pleasurable sensation and this immediately removes all inhibitions such as eye-gazing, body massaging, sensual breathing and sweet low/deep talks. Amazingly, a lot of wives are very responsive to their husbands’ voice during deep penetrative sex. According to research, this act actually helps to tighten the vaginal wall during thrusting in and out. This is because if a man has verbal ability and can entice a woman through his voice, that same ability connects the whole being of the woman to her man during deep penetration, making her to tightly cling to him even with her vaginal wall.
Avoid penis shrinkers; do not smoke. Men who smoke have shrinking penis more than non-smokers. One reason, of course, is that smoking is a known cause of impotence. And there’s some evidence that smoking affects erection size. Inasmuch as some wives may be silent about the size, many prefer their husbands’ manhood to be big. If it is not as big as their desire, it should at least not be smaller than what they first saw. Researchers have found out that smokers’ penises are significantly smaller than non-smokers. In addition to damaging blood vessels, smoking may cause damage to penile tissue itself, making it less elastic and preventing it from stretching.
Do not keep a mistress. It’s common for married men who start having affairs to stop having erections. It is very common; in fact, sex therapists and doctors who treat erectile dysfunction often discover that many of their patients getting sexual favour outside their marriage perform way below those who maintain a marriage sexual relationship. Unless your wife knows about, approves of such affairs (I have yet to meet with such), you’re bound to feel at least a little guilty about sex outside marriage when you’re with the other. Guilt can turn to anxiety and that can kill performance, especially with the legal wife.
Fight diabetes to the utmost level. More than 50 per cent of all men with diabetes are impotent. The disease hits the penis with a double blow. It accelerates the process of arterial disease and it slows the transmission of stimuli along nerves throughout your body. And, trust me, a numb penis is not a happy penis. Staying trim is the best way to avoid diabetes. If it’s too late for that, be vigilant in checking your blood sugar. Men who are careless about controlling their levels have 70 per cent more erection problems than those who stay on top of it.
Yes, men love to go deep and hard but it may amuse you to know that aiming your erect penis at the trunk of a tree is roughly the same density as hitting hard on your wife’s pubic bone. Therefore, do not rupture the corposa cavernosa, the elongated erectile chambers that run the length of your penis. A complete rupture will require surgery within 24 hours to stop internal bleeding and reduce the risk of permanent damage. A partial tear may cause problems later on. As the linings of the corposa heal over with scar tissue, they lose their elasticity—leading to curvature, pain, and eventually impotence. By some estimates, more than a third of impotent men have a history of penile trauma.
To protect yourself, be careful when your wife is on top. That’s the position most likely to cause damage.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Is sperm a healthy protein supplement?
I have been drinking sperm for some time now because I was told it is a good source of protein. But for some months now, I have been having series of infections spreading from my face to other parts of my body. Can you kindly tell me what to use to prevent this spread of infection?
Tobiloba Tochukwu
To prevent spread of infection is not as difficult as to making sure you stop the intake of sperm product. Sperm semen and sperm cells are not natural supplement or protein that gives good health. Sperm is not meant to be swallowed like pap or akamu. It is a product that should go into the vagina and make babies. You have to first stop swallowing sperm immediately. Besides, how sure are you of the state of health of those people you swallow their sperm and semen? They may be carriers of sexually transmitted diseases and spread them to you also. If I may also advise, I think you may be into sex slavery because a teenager should be in school and not be involved in sexual stuff. It will be proper if you can set yourself free and run away from such a bondage. You definitely need more than medical help; your mind needs to be re-orientated all over again because you are not living a normal life.
His demands are always bizarre
My husband asks me to perform oral sex on him even if I do not like it or we do not have full-blown sexual intercourse. I think God designed sexual intimacy for mutual pleasure, is my feelings not important also? His position is that if I loved him, I would see performing oral sex as an act of love and it would not matter if it led to intercourse. I am not opposed to oral sex, but I feel cheapened when he asks for it outright as if I am a call girl. Am I silly to feel this way, or what do you think?
Ojodunaya Celina
I believe that oral-genital stimulation is an acceptable form of sexual play from a medical, physiological and theological point of view. The issue of mutuality is an important component of sexual intimacy. It applies not only to form of stimulation, but also to frequency, initiation and preference of location. It sounds as though you perceive your husband’s desire for oral stimulation as a self-centred demand for service. However, I think you need to have a full understanding of the male psyche and sexuality. Men have not only a high sexual drive with sexual thoughts occurring frequently throughout the day, but they are also bombarded with sexual images, attractions and distractions that they may build fantasies around. Because of this, your husband may be expecting you to seize the opportunity with him by gratifying his desire to “give him” orally. I think perhaps he just wants to share his sexual fantasies and ideas with you his sweetheart. I would rather you see those desires not as demands, but as opportunities to show selfless love. Therefore, instead of refusing his demand, why not just say, ‘I want us to be closer sexually. If this is what you want, then let’s have it.’
How can I view my wife’s vagina while having orgasm?
I like to view my wife’s’ vagina especially when she is having orgasm. This has been the wish of both of us for sometimes now. But I have been trying to figure out how best to achieve this. I cannot possibly do this while having sex with her. Is there any other way out? Please this is so important to my wife and me. Until I achieve this, I don’t think I have granted her wish. Do you have any idea?
Strange Couple
Very simple; first feed her black licorice. Some people spell it as liquorice. It is a natural vegetable all around us. Black licorice has been shown to speed up female genital blood flow by 40 per cent, making the woman highly aroused and popping up the entire organ for good visual. Besides, it helps them lose any inhibition; it is as if she is drunk with wine. Then to properly position yourself, you can use a chin rest method to view every nook and cranny of the vulva inside out.
All you will do is put one pillow under her hips and another under your chest. It’s easier for her to then adjust her knees and legs. Rest your chin on your fist and use a finger to put pressure on the bottom of her vagina to heighten her sensation.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Having better penis performances

A good maintenance culture is a prerequisite for virtually all important things in life. When a man cultivates good penis maintenance culture, high percentage of incomparable penis performance is predictable. It’s true that man’s sexual validity depends very much on how good his penis performance is and how lasting the penis life-span can be. When a man knows how to keep penis performing at the highest level, he can satisfy his wife at any time without dread of the unknown or apprehension of underperformance. Obviously, man has to know how to keep his penis serviceable hard 80 per cent of the time. A problematic penis is generally not very pleasurable during sex and gives you little chance of making your wife climax. Inasmuch as men reach their sexual peak at 18, and women reach theirs at 28, peak hormones with poor maintenance don’t mean peak sexual performance.
What are the ways of better penis performance? you may wonder. Well, inasmuch as sex isn’t a race of life, it goes a long way to define a man. So, start by massaging the penis for increase, adequate blood circulation, because your penis depends on good blood circulation in order to become fully effective. As the vessels that transport the blood to your sexual organs are fairly small in size, they can become less efficient as the years pass and they accumulate tiny plaques which restrict blood flow. But with a successful penis massage, plaques in your blood vessels can be dispersed and expand the capillaries that cause your penis to become erect. This allows you to maintain harder erections for longer periods of time and if done properly, it can actually increase your girth. This massage is simply done by robbing the base of the penis regularly (this is not masturbation, for effective guide and result, see a sex therapist).
Walk more. Researchers found that men who walked just two miles a day had half the rate of erection problems than sedentary men. Deposits that clog or stiffen penile arteries can kill an erection faster than men tend to think of their arteries as simple pipes that can become clogged, but there’s a lot more going on than that.
The linings of those blood vessels are very biologically active areas where chemicals are being made and released into the bloodstream. The more you exercise, the healthier, cleaner, and more flexible those linings become.
Funny as it may sound, learning how to yawn regularly is a good penis maintenance habit. As far as your body is concerned, yawning and getting an erection is practically the same thing. They’re both controlled by a chemical called nitric oxide. Released in the brain, it can either travel to the neurons that control mouth opening and breathing, or go down the spinal cord to the blood vessels that feed the penis. Sometimes it does both; that’s why a big yawn can cause a tremour down. It gives you a good hard-on and healthy penis. So yawn and breathe deeply in the mornings. It helps increase the oxygen in your blood flow and also calms you down when you’re stressed.
Make it a habit to fall asleep after the last thrust, because your penis needs as much shut-eye as it can get. Did you know that every night while you sleep, you have between three and five hour-long erections? You probably noticed this phenomenon the last time you had to pee at 4am. Those erections are not there just to make sex and life interesting for you and your wife. They work to recharge your penis—keeping it well-nourished with oxygenated blood. Theoretically, the more nocturnal erections you have, the more flexible your erectile tissue will become and that may help keep the penis strong as the years wear on. This also makes the testicle size bigger and increase testes performance by over 30 per cent. In fact, most men start to notice their testicles feeling pleasantly heavier and fuller after few weeks of this sleep habit. The testicles are usually bigger and get more attention from your wife and of course, ejaculation volume is amazing. According to a recent research, the sperm concentrations in men decreased by almost one-third because their testicles are 25 per cent smaller than that of their great grandfathers due to the high level of restlessness, stress and lack of restful sleep and the motility of those sperm (which is their ability to swim to the egg) has dropped by 50 per cent. And whether you believe it or not, the female folks are subconsciously much more attracted to men with bigger, healthier packages and higher testosterone levels and less attracted to men with poorly balanced hormones and smaller packages.
Practice keeping an erection longer by fighting boredom. When you’re not enthusiastic about your life or your sex life, it would be a miracle if you can actually have a hard erection!
Take time, don’t rush in. This is something most husbands don’t know and don’t care to know. Foreplay always helps men hold on longer. You may think it’s pointless, but by indulging in foreplay for 15 minutes before penetration, the penis gets more time to warm itself up for the act. Always spend more time on foreplay. By getting straight into the act immediately, the excitement and sexual tension may build up too fast which could end up overexciting you and leading to faster ejaculation. Just don’t think about your erection until you have to penetrate her. And when it’s time, you can rest assured that the penis will be over ready.
Don’t be overexcited; overexcitement increases adrenaline which can make you feel weak and jittery. And also don’t be afraid of losing an erection; once in a while, everybody does. This is actually the biggest reason why so many men suffer from a limp erection. Psychological damage can do more harm than physical damage. Change positions but not too often in bed, you may have heard that changing positions can be more fun. But by doing that, you’ll end up worrying too much about whether your member will continue to stay erect during each penetration and end up feeling more stressed, you’d also end up ejaculating faster because the change in pace makes you more aroused. Instead, try new sex positions. Some sex positions will stimulate you faster and make you orgasm really fast, while some positions can help you last a lot longer. The missionary position is a safe one, but a few unconventional positions may just help you better. But you’ll never know what works until you try.
Don’t think only about penetration. Lovemaking isn’t all about putting it in. If you want to get it hard and keep it hard, you need to learn to understand that lovemaking isn’t just about the act of penetration. When you pay all the attention on penetration, it’s inevitable that you’ll end up putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Take time to please her in other ways and you’ll see how relaxed and sensual sex really can be. Stop worrying about the last time. Well, yeah, you had a hard time having a hard on the last time. But guess what, this is not last time. You can’t expect sex to feel awesome every time. And when you do have a dry spell, don’t let that bother you. Just indulge in foreplay, have fun and stop thinking about what went wrong the last time.
Use condom wisely. Condoms can have a tight grip around your member and it can definitely affect your performance if you’re not comfortable with it. Use thinner condoms if you must.
To be continued next week…..
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Safe cycle system
I do not want to have any of the family planning methods. Virtually all had failed but my best friends suggested the safe cycle system. What is your take?
Tobilola Toibu
There is no safe cycle where you can have unprotected sex without risking unwanted pregnancy. Some may say that having unprotected sex during their periods will ensure that they do not get pregnant. While the chances are definitely lower, yes, you might want to still look for a better and easier one like wearing a condom in order to be safe to some extent.
How to jumpstart sex
Our marriage has undergone some challenges that have affected our lovemaking. It was close to zero but life is back to normal now but we don’t know where to start a good sex life from. What do you suggest? I think I should make the best move as a man. She loves sex a lot and I want her to respond the way she used to before now.
The man of the house
Take sex out of the bedroom and try and explore new regions. You could just jumpstart it but not first in the bedroom. The same old place is too conducive to the same old patterns. Explore some new erogenous areas: the kitchen or the bathroom. Husband, I know you are familiar with her nipples and vagina. Good. Now spend some time on the back of her neck. It’s a brave new world of nerve endings, so gently caressing and kissing are all that’s needed. Lavish praise on the lilies and you’ll be invited back to the garden. So concentrate on a favourite body part and talk about how beautiful she is. Make her feel sexy by thinking and saying she’s sexy; nothing jumpstarts her like deeper touch. So put one pillow under her hips and another under your chest. It’s easier for her to then adjust her knees and legs. Rest your chin on your fist, and use a finger to put pressure on the bottom of her vagina to heighten her sensation.
Is it easier to get a urinary tract infection [UTI] via sex in the missionary position?
I get this burning sensation and itchy feeling each time I have sex with my husband especially when we practise missionary position.
Mrs Opakile Bunmi
No. A urinary tract infection [UTI] happens when bacteria that may be present near your vaginal opening or the tip of the head of your husband’s penis migrates up the urethra to the bladder. Any type of intercourse can propel these bacteria into your urethra, triggering the abdominal pain, burning sensation while urinating and constant urge to urinate.
Before you have sex, reduce the UTI odds by gently washing your vagina zone with mild soap and water, which will reduce the amount of bacteria outside your vaginal opening. And also wash your husband’s penis, then urinate immediately after sex.
BY FUNMI AKINGBADE

Sunday, March 1, 2015

When is sex ideal in pregnancy?

Pregnant women and their husbands often wonder if it’s safe to have sex during pregnancy. Will it result in miscarriage? Will it harm the unborn baby? Are there sex positions to avoid? These and many more questions are going on in the hearts of many couples most especially those that have waited so long for pregnancy. It may surprise you to know that when a woman’s pregnancy is normal, sex is a natural, normal part of pregnancy. Deep penis penetration won’t harm the baby, who is protected by the woman’s abdomen and the uterus’ muscular walls. As a matter of fact, the baby is also cushioned by the amniotic sac’s fluid.
More also, the contractions of orgasm some women experience while they climax are not the same as labour contractions. Although as a general safety precaution, it may be advisable for some women to avoid sex in the final weeks of pregnancy, because some hormones in the semen of the man called prostaglandins can stimulate contractions. One exception may be for women who are overdue and want to induce labour. This is because some doctors believe that prostaglandins in the man’s semen actually induce labour in a full-term or past-due pregnancy, since the gel used to “ripen” the cervix and induce labour also contains prostaglandins. But other doctors believe this semen/labour connection is only theoretical and that having sex doesn’t trigger labour.
However, it is safer not to have sex if the woman is susceptible to high-risk pregnancy or has a history of past miscarriages. There should be caution too when she is at risk of preterm labour, this is a contraction before 37 weeks of pregnancy. The woman should be careful too if she has vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping without a known cause, or when she notices that her amniotic sac is leaking fluid. When scan reveals that the woman is expecting twins, triplets, or other “multiples,” she should exercise restraints.
Keep in mind, if your doctor says “no sex,” that may include anything that involves orgasm or sexual arousal, not just intercourse.
Women have different experiences when they are pregnant, including how they feel about sex. For some, desire fades during pregnancy. Other women feel more deeply connected to their sexuality and more aroused when they’re pregnant.
During pregnancy, it’s normal for sexual desire to come and go as the pregnant woman’s body changes. She may feel self-conscious, happy and in high spirit as her belly grows. Some women actually look and may feel sexier with larger, fuller pointed breasts. And many just want sex from the beginning of the pregnancy till the end. Desire differs absolutely, therefore it is expedient for wives to tell their husbands what they are feeling, what they want and what will work for them. Many times, there may be need for both partners to plan out comfortable, stimulating and arousal positions, especially later in pregnancy.
I usually tell expectant mothers to avoid lying flat on their backs in the “missionary position” for sex after the fourth month of pregnancy. That way, she can avoid the weight of the growing baby constricting major blood vessels; this is very important. One of the best ways to make sex more comfortable is to try lying sideways together or the wife might try positioning herself upright or sitting on top of her husband’s laps facing him, or sitting on his tummy backing him.
The next question is how about sex after delivery; when, how soon and how long? Actually, the first six weeks after delivery are called the postpartum period. Sex during this time may be the last thing on the mind of the new mother. As a matter of fact, the sexual desire of many new mothers may decrease because of the healing from an episiotomy, the incision or cutting received during normal vaginal delivery, or healing from abdominal incisions after caesarean birth. Some couples stay off sex just because of the normal postpartum bleeding four to six weeks after birth. Many couples even stay off sex for as long as one year. Many new mothers are too tired for sex because of the fatigue after pregnancy and the birthing process coupled with the demands of the new-born.
The changing hormone levels is also a major sex piss off. Sex is a no no for some mothers because of the sore breasts from breastfeeding, or simple emotional issues, such as postpartum blues, anxiety over parenting, or relationship issues in the marriage. Whatever the case maybe, sexual relationship/intercourse is generally safe after incisions have fully healed. This healing usually takes several weeks.
I also advise couples to consult their personal or family doctors for their opinion and recommendations. Most doctors will ask new mothers to wait for at least six weeks after delivery before intercourse, while some will tell you to start having sex two weeks after delivery, adding that sex itself does a lot of healing to episiotomy or caesarean section. But it is equally very important for the mother to be emotionally ready, physically fit and heartily comfortable, and wholesomely relaxed given the realities and stress of early parenthood. It is also essential for couples to be very patient with each other. In many homes, it can take up to a year for couples to resume normal sex life just because of the new arrival.
Questions and Answers
My husband’s big penis makes me bleed from anus
I notice that each time we make love, I always bleed and itch from my anus when I stand up or visit the toilet immediately. This started when I gave birth to my last child two years ago at the age of 48. I have applied local and orthodox medicine all to no avail. What can I do? Although my husband’s penis is quite big, we mostly practise missionary position sex and nothing else. Is this as a result of his large penis? I need a way out.
Mariam Funsho
Your case may be that of hemorrhoids that you are not aware of. Because of your last pregnancy, you may have over-strained the pelvic area during your labour time, or you may have had a big baby or because you are close to 50 years now. The large penis of your husband may not be the cause, although at erection, it will definitely be larger but rather the pressure during deep thrusting in and out may stimulate increase blood flow to that area leading to breaking of some of the blood veins or arteries. Every individual has clumps of veins in and around the anus and the lower rectum can stretch and swell with pressure. When these veins get swollen or bulge, they are called hemorrhoids. They can be inside or just on the outside. They’re usually not serious, but can sometimes hurt, itch, or bleed. One of the most common signs of hemorrhoids is painless bleeding — usually when you go to the bathroom. You might notice a little blood on the toilet paper or in the bowl. You may also have itching, pain, or tiny bulges around your anus.
Because there can be many reasons for these symptoms, see your doctor as soon as you notice any of them. That way, you can rule out other problem. The exact cause of hemorrhoids is not known but you could have them if you get constipated or have diarrhoea often, or strain to lift heavy objects or if you spend a lot of time in the toilet. Hemorrhoids are also more common as you get older and if you are overweight when pregnant or if your parents had them, you may get them, too.
Veins inside your rectum can grow large or swell. Even if they bleed, internal hemorrhoids usually don’t hurt. Sometimes they can swell and stick out just outside your body. This is called a prolapsed hemorrhoid and can be painful or itch. Hemorrhoids can form just underneath the skin near your anus. These can also itch and hurt. They might bleed. What you eat can help prevent hemorrhoids or at least ease symptoms, such as high-fibre foods to soften your stool. Try to get more leafy vegetables, fresh fruits, beans, and whole-grain cereals; then make sure you drink lots of water to help prevent constipation and to make it easier to go to the toilet. Try the special “sitz baths” technique; this can be placed directly in your toilet seat. Hemorrhoids aren’t a rare, strange condition. Men and women alike have them. It’s only when they swell and cause problems that you realise they are there. About half of the people bleed, have pain, or other symptoms by the time they turn 50. Women may have them during pregnancy.
Can I suck the penis of a cancer patient?
My husband is undergoing chemotherapy treatment for prostate gland cancer. He is at the same time insisting I use my mouth on his penis but I feel it is not safe. What if I accidentally taste the cancer drug or cancer cell in his semen?
Cecilia Appiah
Even though the drugs that are used during chemotherapy are not excreted in semen, that could be dangerous. It is not safe to use your mouth on his penis while he is undergoing chemotherapy but using a condom on his penis might bail you out if he is insisting.
What is male multiple orgasm without ejaculation?
Most of my friends boast of multiple ejaculations without orgasm, what is this, can you explain?
Kurume Rendufu
Male multiple orgasms without ejaculation may be difficult to verify and may depend on the man’s state of orgasm while orgasm is a state of sexual arousal. Male multiple orgasms without ejaculation occur when the valve on the prostate that switches on and off before urination and ejaculation is being controlled by the PC muscles. The PC muscle stops this valve from opening, allowing an orgasm without ejaculation. Men who report multiple orgasms without ejaculation are able to achieve orgasm- states before they hit the point of ejaculatory no-return. And such men report that strengthening the PC muscles through Kegel exercises allows them to get closer to this “point of inevitability” without cresting the mountaintop of ejaculation and descending into the gentle valley of the flaccid and the “refractory” period, where the penis is temporarily unresponsive to sexual stimulation.
BY FUNMI AKINGBADE