Wednesday, March 30, 2016

3 Top Secrets to Making Sex Last Longer

There is a secret to making sex last longer that only few people know of.
This secret lies in a phase during sex that is often neglected by many. It’s the phase right after sex.
Some call this powerful time The After-Love.
The Power of the Time after Sex
The After-Love is almost a time of meditation we are open, relaxed and peaceful. Energy flows, and inspiration follows.
It’s a time of being.
We are fully present, and the consciousness of life surrounds us with ease.
It’s a time where we feel a different truth to our bodies. There is a sense of well-being and calmness, softness.
It can be a time of quiet where no words are needed or a time of sharing from the heart.
It’s a time when we return to ourselves and to the world. It is indeed a magical time with many gifts.
Sadly, it’s often a time so short that we don’t allow ourselves the fullness of receiving all that it has to offer.
So let us take a look into different ways to extend this phase and thus sex.
Make the Most of the After-Love Phase
Here are 3 things we can do to spend more time in this beautiful place:

#1 Edging
This is one of the most powerful lessons we can share about pleasure:
Take orgasm out of your sexual experience.
Make it less of a focus and instead, swim towards your edge. Build the fire of pleasure. Ride the waves of sensation, of feeling, of emotion for as long as you like or as long as you can.
Get close to the peak, but not so close that you cannot step back.
Then simply be. Take shelter in the After-Love for as long as you can.
It can stay with you for days.

#2 Stay Connected
Extend your After-Love by consciously connecting with your partner.
Remain present after pleasure, whether you orgasm or not.
Breathe together, and look into each other’s eyes
The deeper you breathe, the more everything will slow down and the more present you will be. The breaths will also help keep you in your body and out of your head.

#3 Listen To Your Body
Allow your body to follow in the direction of the energy. After some sexual experiences, we may feel energised, fiery even. Let that flow through you in the form of dance and sound.
Let it come from within.
If you are feeling slow and soft, let your body express that. The movements and sounds you make will keep the energy alive in your body.
The After-Love truly is a wonderful gift. If we chose to open it it may offer to us many expanding and empowering experiences.
It may offer us deeper insights, unexpected inspiration.
It may offer us more self-love, peace of mind and physical energy.
From http://ourintimatesecrets.com

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

5 Things You Must Do If You Have Unprotected Se*x

During the heat of sexual ecstasy, things can really go fast from foreplay to sex and partners may not even remember to use condoms. Unprotected sex is sexual intercourse without the use of a barrier method of contraception. This can be either the male or the female condom. Unprotected sexual intercourse increases the risk of contacting/ transmitting HIV, STD and unwanted pregnancy. I have seen a lot of people overwhelmed with anxiety after having unprotected sexual intercourse with some indulging in acts that does not only sound ridiculous but also increases their chance of contacting STD or even affecting their health adversely. 
Douching is one of such. Generally, women are discouraged from douching because it alters the normal bacteria flora of the vagina which keeps it healthy and free from invading pathogens. If you douche after sex, it increases the chance of contacting STD and it doesn’t prevent pregnancy and HIV infection. Myths like ingestion of herbal medicines, insertion of caustic soda, ingesting OTCs like ampicillin and aspirin have not been proven scientifically to be effective in preventing unwanted pregnancies and infection with STD. In this article, we will review on things you must do if you have unprotected sex.

1. Take Emergency contraceptive pills 

This is one of the surest ways of preventing unwanted pregnancy after having unprotected sexual intercourse. You will have to take emergency contraceptives in form of emergency contraceptives pills. Emergency contraceptive pills also referred to as morning after pills are is used to prevent pregnancy. There can be obtained with a doctor’s prescription or as an over the counter drug (OTC) in drug stores. A commonly used form of EC is Postinor 2® which is taken within 72 hours after having unprotected sexual intercourse. It contains Levonorgestrel which is a synthetic form of a female reproductive hormone that prevents implantation hence pregnancy doesn’t occur.

2. Ask for an Intra-Uterine Device (IUD) 

If after 72 hours, then you must contact your health care provider for an emergency IUD. IUD is tiny rod-like devices inserted into the uterus (womb) by your doctor. There distort cervical mucus and prevents the implantation of the egg. If inserted properly and within 5 days, it is highly effective with an efficacy rate of about 98%. It is important to note that EC and IUD don’t give any protection nor prevent STD and HIV infection.

3. Test for STD and HIV 

Fears of infection with STD or the dreaded killer disease HIV is heightened after unprotected sexual intercourse. It is mandatory that you test to screen for STD and HIV. If possible, such test should be conducted with your sexual partner. STD to be tested for includes Hepatitis B and C, gonorrhea, syphilis and chlamydia. This can be carried out with blood samples or via a vaginal/ penile swab. However, results gotten from an early test are inconclusive hence test must be repeated after 6 months for cases of HIV and Hepatitis. Testing after having unprotected sexual intercourse allays fear/ anxiety and increases the chance of early diagnosis, prevention and treatment of sexually transmitted disease.

4. Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP)

PEP is essential after a high risk unprotected sexual intercourse. This includes cases of rape by an unknown assailant, sexual intercourse with an individual living with HIV or unprotected sexual intercourse with a partner with known multiple sexual partners. You must visit a health facility that provides such services and after counseling and series of test, you will be commenced on PEP for a duration of one month. The drugs have been noted to be 99% effective in preventing HIV if commenced within 72 hours. PEP provides protection against HIV but not to other STD. However, you will have to do another HIV test after 6 months to be declared free from the deadly disease.

5. Keep calm and watch for symptoms 

Unprotected sex may happen unexpectedly or as a result of carelessness from both partners. Once it has occurred, there is little of no need for panic. You should keep calm and watch out for symptoms after undergoing the initial screening test for STD and HIV. Symptoms make take 2 weeks or more to manifest. If after unprotected sex, you begin to experience vaginal itching, vaginal or penile discharge, severe burning pain on urinating, sores or ulcers around your external genitals then it is advisable that you consult your doctor for further evaluation and treatment.
Source: http://www.spynigeria.com

Saturday, March 26, 2016

How wives make sex mistakes but blame their husbands

When wives want to be honest about their lack of interest in sexual relationship with their husbands, one thing they often say that discourages them is the way their husbands have failed to measure up sexually. Apart from complaining about not knowing how to treat them at day time, they accuse them of neglecting foreplay and eventually making a mess of the sexual act itself. Many husbands tend to get a bad rap when it comes to understanding women’s bodies; what turns women on generally and their own wife’s specific turn on, making them easy targets in the blame game when sexual satisfaction starts to wane.  And sure, they make their fair share of bedroom errors. But as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. As it turns out, top sex and relationship experts say that women make plenty of sex mistakes of their own.  Here’s what they have to say about the six most common mistakes women make in the bedroom and what they can do to get the satisfaction their union so rightly deserves.
Wives find it difficult to initiate sex with their husbands and just conclude that well, if he wants it, let him tell me; after all, I am not denying him. This is actually partly traditional upbringing and partly female ego. Many wives worry about well-mannered behaviour.  Such wives don’t want to appear pushy or come on too strong for fear of being labelled aggressive. But failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes wives make but call girls are experts in it.
Most husbands are tired of the fact that they are always the initiator and that sets up disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship. Generally, husbands desire to be pursued by their wives just as much as the wives too.
Holding onto outdated ideas about sex roles also inhibits satisfaction with our sexual relationships. Outdated ideas give a mirage that women are less interested in sexual activity; that is not true anymore. As a certified sex therapist and a sexologist, I think there are wives who are as interested in sex as men if not more, because I have come in contact with countless of such. So, wives show your interest by taking the first step from time to time.  Your husband will likely appreciate it and you may find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your sexual experience. Let your husband know that even though his penis is embedded in his body, that it is actually your own tool of sexual satisfaction. You have a right to that penis at any given time and you have the backing of the Federal Government law of Nigeria to that effect since you have been legally joined together as husband and wife.
The truth of the matter is, wives must come to term with the fact that there will be alterations in their bodies as they grow old, as they give birth and as they nurse babies, so do not get disturbed by your body changes. Undue dwelling on how you look on bed is a mistake you make that does not so much bother your husband. Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm.  Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face; just concentrate on the pleasure of the act.  You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm. Men want their wives to abandon themselves in sex play, and that’s not likely if she is anxious about her physical concerns. It’s amazing many things a sex starved husband doesn’t notice especially when their wives are eager, enthusiastic, energetic and interested in them. It is great when you are flexible minded with various seductive, erotic sexual positions and you are doing all in your power to give them sex that will render them powerless for few hours thereafter. They are actually seeing the sexual intelligence you are displaying rather than your body contours. Scientifically, husbands are temporarily and selectively blinded to any body flaw during sex.   They are much more attracted to women who show signs of healthy sexual life and youthfulness of mindset and fertility.  Rather than worry about the shape of your waist and hips, worry about your sexual updates of positions, style, fantasies, energy level and enthusiasm and interest in him.
Married wives should never think sex is just a casual thing for their husbands, no. It is a thing that binds both of you together; it connects and makes your husband  love you more. Especially when the sexual act is satisfactory to them, they can get to the moon and back for you. Married women should all let go of old-fashioned notions, such as women are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men.  For majority of men, sex is a very important act, so don’t trivialise it at all. As a matter of fact, both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be more satisfying. Numerous research studies make it very clear that the people who have the best quality and most frequent sex are married couples in committed relationship. That says a lot about the inadequacies of “casual sex”. Never assume that a man is not romantic. Two huge mistakes in this culture are that women are not sexual and that men are not as romantic [as women].
Now, there are cases when a wife wonders why her husband is not interested in sex as she is and she immediately concludes he is having an affair. No! This is a gross mistake. The point is that, at the teenage stage of a man’s life, they are ready and willing just about any time you ask, but as they grow old in the relationship and the pressure of responsibilities overweighs them, the tide may change and a paradigm shift may occur.  The pressures of everyday life — family, work, bills — can zap a man’s libido.  This comes as a big surprise to many wives and often this could be wisely handled and not taken personally.
When you hear your husband say he is not in the mood for sex, it is not an indication that they are no longer in love with you. They are just weighed down with responsibilities they may not be able to explain to you either. They know themselves that they are not always interested in sex but they still love their wives. But when a wife discovers her husband doesn’t want to have sex, they think, ‘he doesn’t love me.’  Not true.  He just doesn’t want to have sex and that is the truth of the matter.
Many wives mistakenly think because their husbands like sex, they should be able to figure out what they (the wives) want sexually without guidelines or red light.  What wives like and don’t like can make them feel uncomfortable, even when the marriage has been for a while. But the only  and best way to achieve a satisfying sexual relationship with your husband is to talk during sex. Do not keep quiet; tell him exactly, accurately, specifically and precisely how you feel. Never assume they should know. No, they might not, because we all have different preferences and no two sessions of sex are exactly the same at any time. The truth is, a good wife wanting a good sexual relationship must take responsibility for her sexual encounter. No man can bring any woman to orgasm if she doesn’t take responsibility for her sexual experience.  Even the best lover can’t know what you need without you letting him know. So, the idea of just lying down on the bed like a log of wood expecting him to figure you out will frustrate both of you. Show him, lead him, give him example, make a sound, open your legs wide; point to the location of your clitoris, give him a go-ahead to repeat after you how it should be caressed. Surprisingly, many wives do not know that all men very much want to please their women. But I would plead with wives to watch out how they address their husbands. If you can tell them in a way that doesn’t kill their ego, they will appreciate it.   I would appreciate if you can sandwich what you don’t like in-between five things your husband has done- because he’s not only  listening. he is reading in-between the lines.  You won’t find out until the next time you’re in bed with him.  But I can categorically say that good and sensitive husbands do listen to their wives, particularly if such wives are quite wisely clear, romantic and respectful about it. And if your husband happens to suggest some sexual act that is not within your familiarity zone, please rather than get upset and say no to sex until further notice, do kindly deliberate over such. This is so because when a married couple have been together for a while, it’s natural to want to spice things up with a little variety [the joy of novelty is still winning at all times].  Just because your husband wants to try something new doesn’t mean he’s unhappy with you or he has tasted some call girls outside and they did it better or he is no longer excited with your sex life.  In short, don’t take it personal. However, nobody should ever feel obligated to do something they don’t want to do in the personal and intimate area of sexuality. If your husband asks you about trying something that’s outside of your morals, make it clear that it’s off limits for you and explain why, and if possible, you could compromise and see if it is what you can enjoy as well.  Of course, do this in a loving way as best as you can.  If it is something that is not really a moral issue for you but you still don’t want to, again explain why.  If it is a simple request and you’re initially uneasy about it, try not to overreact.  Instead, let him know you need some time to adjust to such and you are willing to try to. But remember, many marriages would have been the best in terms of sex if many wives are very sensitive to the sexual mistakes and ignorance coming from them. Until next week, I still remain your loyal bedroom instructor.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
How do we climax together?
Dear Funmi, please how do my wife and I reach orgasm together? It seems that most of her talk lately has centered on how both of us can achieve orgasm together. Her birthday came up recently and all she requested for was orgasm together. Please, how can I go about it? You know these women, if they don’t get what they want, you may see them on someone else’s bed.
Honorable White John 
 Well, orgasm issues should not warrant infidelity. Anyway, there are types of orgasm; there’s the g-spot orgasm, the clitoral orgasm and reaching an orgasm… at the same time. Although  men and women are built differently and it is a fact that women take longer to reach an orgasm  but still, most couples hardly ever climax at exactly same time. It greatly depends on you both starting off together. There are several reasons why you and your wife may not climax together, let’s go over them one by one.
If you caress her a lot via oral stimulation and you are way far ready: Oftentimes, women can only reach an orgasm during oral stimulation on their clitoris. And although it’s absolutely great that you can bring her to a climax this way, keep in mind that you also should be ready to come with her, by getting ready yourself. This can be achieved when you allow her response to your stimulation arouse you. Then explore other orgasmic method such as intercourse method; this is very easy. All you need do is try as much as possible not to fully enter her while thrusting in and out. Since her most sensitive part is by the tip of the vagina, all you will do is increase the speed as time goes on. By that time, she would have been highly aroused and forcefully pull you down and with that, only few thrusting is requested from you before both of you end together. Also, instead of penetrating her all the way at the beginning, do a little teasing and just insert your manhood just about half of the way and thrust this way for a few minutes. This mimics your tongue going in and out of her. As you penetrate her fully, reach down and continue to massage her clitoris. This is double stimulation for you and will surely push her to the edge! Also realise that sex with women begins in their minds. Yes, you need to mentally sex your wife up! This is why foreplay is so important. For instance, say you’ve been teasing her all day; this means that she’s probably very hot already by the time you engage in foreplay. On the other hand, say that you’re in the mood and she’s so-so about the idea, this means you may have to spend more time on foreplay to get her to the same sexual state as you are. Either way, engage in foreplay until she’s really wet and panting. This way, by the time penetration occurs, she’s really near her climax already.
My penis is twisted
My penis not looking normal
Ever since I was born, my penis has had a twist along the length of the shaft. When it lies on my pubic mound, there’s almost a ninety degree rotation between the head of the penis and the shaft, and I’m sure it’s getting worse as time goes by. Can you tell me what is wrong with my penis? I run away from potential wives because of this, I enclose a photo to help you understand my description.
Kingsley Ogboregua Selo
The orientation of the shaft of the penis is defined by the raphe, the line of skin which normally runs along the middle of the underside of the penis. Normally, this runs into the glans at the site of the frenulum. However, in the picture of your penis which you sent me, your raphe ends at the side of your glans. There is, as you say, a ninety degree twist along the length of your penile shaft. 
It’s also clear that your foreskin extends only halfway around the circumference of your penis, forming a hood rather than a complete cover over the end of your penis. All of this is rather characteristic of a condition called hypospadias, a congenital abnormality of the penis which varies in appearance from minor (where the opening in the glans is elongated into a slit, and the foreskin forms a hood around the top of the glans) to severe (where the urethral opening is only part way along the penile shaft). Hypospadias is often accompanied by this twist along the length of the shaft and/or a condition called chordee, where the glans of the penis is bent downwards towards the shaft, rather like it was nodding to the testicles! 
In days gone by, many men with hypospadias were never diagnosed until they chanced upon the discovery that their penis was different from most other men’s – and although we might hope that today matters would be more enlightened, it’s probably true that there is still the same level of shame and ignorance around this condition as there has been in previous generations.
What you can do about it? Well, there is surgery and natural remedy solution. The classic dilemma is whether or not to have the abnormality of the penis surgically corrected. However, competent surgery on hypospadias tends to be difficult, and if not really needed to enable the owner of a hypospadic penis to have sex, might be best avoided. In some cases, it can make matters much worse than they already are, especially if there is not much spare skin available to effect a repair. By the way, the need for such skin is an absolute contraindication to circumcision on any baby boy born with hypospadias. But the natural remedy many go for now is the use of nanalichureg ointment which has proven wonders for many years now.

Mistakes of sexual and libidoral expressions (2)

Husband, please be a good kisser, kissing promotes intimacy, which promotes passion. A deep kiss can express deep love. Don’t underestimate its power.

The fleeting touch of the lightest kiss can have more meaning than a big, sloppy wet one. Experiment with your kisses. Go light. Go firm. Lick the nipple deeply. Tickle the clitoris from side to side. Suck the penis deep and light.
Do not jeopardise with your reproductive health; mind your sexual health.
Most people don’t give it any thought, but passion is totally dependent on how you take care of your body. For men, your fitness affects your erections. When you work out, your body may create more testosterone. Your heart and vascular system are healthier, too, preserving erectile function. For women, your fitness affects your hormonal balance and mood.
Fitness also improves serotonin, which picks up mood. Work out. It’s good for your “love muscles.” Have real sex, not Hollywood sex; movies make people think that passionate sex happens instantly, with three minutes of foreplay and simultaneous orgasms. Pornography is even worse. Nobody could possibly be comfortable in some of those positions, let alone aroused.

To have passionate sex, you need to take your time and build arousal. Arousal leads to better orgasm. The passion that you see in the movies is choreographed as carefully as any ballet. Choreograph your own love to whatever rhythm you wish for more explosive orgasms. Many spouses lack manners; be respectful. Did you know that just a few negative comments could cause a woman to have difficulty with orgasm? Some even go frigid for life or a man to lose his erection and become impotent for years. No matter how strong or self-confident they may seem, people can be very vulnerable about their sexuality. In a culture where people are expected to be naturally good married lovers, sexual confidence is actually quite low because of low self-esteem and bastardised and demoralised ego. Start building it back with open, loving, and respectful communication.

Do not be part of the couples that have sex once in a month; have sex regularly.
Regular sex is good for your marriage relationship–but not only because it keeps your love vital. But research has shown that couples that have regular sex look, on average, 10 years younger than their peers. Regular sex can help you sleep deeper and soundly, diminish pain especially migraine and headaches; reduce stress and make you feel all is well. Improve your mood; you are always happier. Balance your hormones. It’s a little like exercise. Your body needs sex. It creates a desire for it. Heed your desire. Your body will thank you.

Perfect practice makes passion perfect. A body of sex therapists once said that sex is more than body parts and friction, it is medicinal so if you are challenged with erectile dysfunction, weak erection, premature ejaculation, or the most dreaded impotency, see me as a sex therapist, I will help you out. Others have received permanent help; yours is next. Think of love making as a skill; there is always something new to learn. People think being a good lover should come naturally. It does. If you relax and enjoy the sensations of sex, you’ll be fine. But what if you can’t relax? You can learn. How? By making love, again and again and calling up on sex therapist to be of assistance [I am one]. And the more you practise, the more relaxed you’ll become.

Perfectly passionate. It’s the journey, not the destination. It’s true: It isn’t all about the orgasm at the end. It’s about the experience that you have on the way there. Like a good road trip, getting to your destination is more than half the fun. Take your time. Take a detour. Speed up. Pour a little more wine. Go back to making love. Get serious. Get funny; get help from me. I am more than willing. Wonder what’s around the bend? Create tension. Hold your breath. Breathe. The goal is to make the trip so much fun that nobody really cares if it ends in fireworks or just your plain, everyday wonderful orgasm.

Learn new types of touch
If you just grab your wife’s breast the same way every time you want sex, you’re going to wear out your welcome because it could actually be very painful. Imagine someone grabs, pulls, jerks, yanks, twitches your penis with such force and pull, how would you honestly feel? [Send in your answers]
Lastly, let’s talk about quickies mistake. There is something to be said for quickies, but a lot to be said for other approaches as well. Touch can be very healing, and when you understand that affectionate touch can enhance closeness and trust, you’ll see more passion develop in your relationship.
Try touch and caress with one finger, the back of your hand. Use your thumb. Massage in oil or lotion. Spread powder. Go lightly. Go firmly. When wives want to massage their husbands’ penis, please do not apply too much pressure and do not caress with your bare hands; experiment with lubricants and not Vaseline. Lubricants are your friends. Seriously. Lubricant makes the entire lovemaking experience more comfortable for men and women. The fact is that a woman can enjoy great foreplay and still be dry. That’s because changes in oestrogen levels can affect natural lubrication. When a woman doesn’t get wet enough on her own, both partners sometimes feel confused or let down. Look for a lubricant that is free from glycerine, which is a synthetic sugar. Apply liberally as needed.

Have fun; fantasies are a fun way to get turned on.
But they should be discussed ahead of time. You want to make sure that whatever fantasy you are going to try will be fun for both of you. Agree upon a signal that lets your spouse know you are going beyond your comfort zone, and they need to reign it back in a bit. Once you have things figured out, go for it and don’t feel guilty for satisfying your desires. Never make your bed a stage; one way to spoil a passionate relationship is to focus on performance. If you are worried about yourself–how you move, what you look like, whether you are pleasing your lover–you’re focusing too much on you and not enough on your partner and the process. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You worry about your performance, and your performance suffers.

Instead, be mindful. Enjoy your senses. Experience each moment as it unfolds.
Focus on touch, sight, taste, and smell. Make sure passion is your focus, not your performance. Explore the erotic, erotic is different from pornographic. Pornography serves one purpose: to excite the viewer. Erotic movies, photos, stories, and poems go further. Erotic material explains why someone feels the way they do. Emotions such as love, longing, lust, and passion are expressed. You can explore the erotic by searching out books of erotic poems, finding erotic books and stories explain lots of sexual facts. Sometimes sex can be serious, say, if you are making love for the first time after a stressful period, or when you’re just in that sort of mood. But sex can be playful, too. Make a funny sound, stick out your tongue to tease your married lover, play a game of naked tag, or bring a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup or strawberry flavoured natural lubricant to bed. Relate a fantasy or play a love song. Laugh at your body parts, your hair, or the way your partner sucks in air when excited.
Being playful is a way to deepen intimacy. Through erotic play, trust and intimacy grow.
Whatever you have learnt here, always let your lovemaking express your feelings.
Love without feeling becomes mechanical over time. If you focus on technique instead of feelings, you can feel good, but you may not feel close. You may feel turned on, but you may not feel passion. Remind yourself of why you are with your spouse. What makes you care about him or her? Then let your touch express your caring and affection. Even early in a relationship, when feelings may not be so deep, you can and should express positive feelings for your lover. One of the many ways to overcome many known and un-known sexual challenges is to be able to know how to fill in the unspoken lines of passion gaps. When couples do the above, libidoral mistakes become a thing of the past.
Enjoy reading. Still your long time bedroom instructor.
Questions & Answers
I need more fact about penis and its functionality
I am a new bride-to-be, can you tell me some facts and figures about penis/vagina and their functionality?
Nicole Enjupo
On the lower part of the penis is a v-shape tissue that is very sensitive to stimulation. Bigger testicles produce more sperm but not necessarily better quality. On average, the heart beats 70 times per minute but during orgasm, the heart races at 115 beats per minute. It takes 17 muscles to smile and over 100 muscles to have an orgasm. On average, couples spend two weeks of their lives kissing, the record for the longest kiss is 29 hours. In a one-minute kiss, you actually burn 26 calories, 80 per cent of husbands are turned on when wives wear sexy lingerie and expose their nipples and clitoris. In the US, the average time for sex is 10; 34pm, but Nigeria has no viable data. A woman’s sex drive is at its peak just before her period. During sex, the testicles retract into the body to protect them from getting knocked around especially during vigorous thrusting in and out and some clumsy movement. On the average, married couples have sex 52 times a year, that is once a week; men experience an average of seven erections in a day, five of them when he is asleep, men’s nipples have the same level of pleasure receptors as women’s nipples, orgasm releases chemicals that curb appetite, so sex helps you lose weight.
The average speed of an ejaculation is 20 mph, husbands find it incredibly sexy when women take the initiative and swing their breast and buttocks. Cold shower can increase the production of sex hormone in men and women, the head of the penis has a higher concentration of nerves endings than the shaft. A teenager’s erection can last for an hour while for eight minutes when he is 70 years old. The largest human penis ever recorded is 11 inches and the longest 15 inches.
Can I impregnate with my small penis?
Funmi, with my condition, do you think I can ever get any woman pregnant? I have a small penis that ejaculates prematurely. I must confess to you, I am so dejected. Can a man ejaculate and pee at the same time? My friends say that is why I have not been able to get my wife pregnant.
Very depressed
Yes, you can get a woman pregnant, even though your penis is small and you ejaculate prematurely. Some sperm cells can mix with the new sperm in your urethra from a previous ejaculation if you go for the second or the third round of sex. However, you do not need to suffer in silence. The great [36-hours-of-freedom] against premature ejaculation, weak erection and erectile dysfunction is available with the newly discovered herbs from China for small penis.
As regards whether a man can ejaculate and pee the same time, no. Just before climax, the tube leading to a man’s bladder seals off, so semen can shoot through his penis. Please, do not listen to ‘old women’s fable; seek proper counselling from the right avenues.
My husband wants sex anywhere
Funmi, I think God designed sexual intimacy for mutual pleasure, all my husband wants is for him to be sexually satisfied even if I am hospitalised. You may think I am over reacting, no. The last time I was hospitalised, my husband still had three rounds of sex with me while he gave the whole world the impression that he was babysitting and nursing me in the hospital. He does not even care if I truly want sex or not. He keeps saying he paid so much for my bride price; are my feelings not important also? His position is that if I loved him, I would see performing sex and even oral sex as an act of love and it would not matter if it led to intercourse. I am not opposed to oral sex, but I feel cheapened when he asks for it outright as if I am a ‘call girl’. Am I silly to feel this way, or what do you think?
Mrs Oreku Adio
Inasmuch as sex is a healthy thing between husband and wife, it should be done with mutual respect and dignity. I would appreciate if you find a very conducive time to lovely explain this to your husband, I believe that oral-genital stimulation is an acceptable form of sexual play from a medical, physiological, and theological point of view. The issue of mutuality is an important component of sexual intimacy. It applies not only to form of stimulation, but also to frequency, initiation and preference of location. It sounds as though you perceive your husband’s desire for oral stimulation as a self-centred demand for service. However, I think you need to have a full understanding of the male psyche and sexuality. Men have not only a high sexual drive with sexual thoughts occurring frequently throughout the day, but they are also bombarded with sexual images, attractions and distractions that they may build fantasies around. Because of this, your husband may be expecting you to seize the opportunity with him by gratifying his desire to “give him” orally. I think perhaps he just wants to share what his sexual fantasies and ideas are with you his sweet heart. I would rather you see those desires not as demands, but as opportunities to show selfless love. Therefore, instead of refusing his demand, why not just say “I want us to be closer sexually. If this is what you want, then let’s have it.”
By Funmi Akingbade

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Mistakes of sexual and libidoral expressions

Mistakenly, many couples blame sexual dis-satisfaction on many things but the real thing. One thing is certain; when the purpose of a thing is not known or discovered, abuse is inevitable. Many married couples mix libidoral challenge with sexual and emotional challenges. We will do our best to help find solutions to these. Firstly, I need every couple out there to know that faulty gender libidoral expression, sexual health challenge such as premature ejaculation, weak erection, erectile dysfunction, frigidity in both husband and wife and animalistic expressions of sexual desires and needs are all interwoven; so therefore we can actually use almost same method to cure them all. So relax and read attentively.
To prevent many mistakes, bear it in mind that sexual satisfactions should not be soulishly directed at an individual alone in the relationship; you first satisfy your spouse before thinking of your own satisfaction. This means you have to be really present during the act; you have to pay passionate attention to your spouse. In the moments of lovemaking, there is nothing more important than your eyes, your lips and hers. The best love happens when the world falls away, and you are the only two beings that matter. And when the world really does fall away, you’ll be one being, delighting in each other’s bodies, minds, and souls. This should not be the moment when the wife will remember the food on her gas cooker or the cry of the baby or the downpour of rain while her clothes are on the cloth line. Monotony of these actions and attitude over the years kill libido and accelerate premature ejaculation.
Mistakes also come when couples do not deliberately find a good place for sex, passion has its place.
A place that’s clean and uncluttered. Not the mattress filled with the urine of the baby or room cluttered with the head ties, dresses and make-up bags of the wife. The sheets are fresh; do not reserve new bedspread for visitors only; pamper yourself and spouse with the luxury of the new bed spread. The pillows are plump. The laundry is out of sight. The music is pleasant. Or spicy. Or slow. Or hot. There are fresh flowers or well-tended plants that can spice your room. Sex can take place in your bedroom, where the door is locked, so your hearts can open. But don’t limit your place of passion to the bedroom. Erotic sexual passion can take place in the living room, the kitchen, the pantry, the backyard, the pent house, the grazing land, the beach–wherever you and your lover connect and privacy is guaranteed.
   Many couples [especially some husbands] believe that it is when they do some out of this space actions that they can rectify their libidoral mistakes or sexual health blunders. But do you know that novelty and newness is actually an aphrodisiac? Yes, passion ignites when the mind is curious. The excitement of the new has been proven from ages to always challenge the old and leads to new pathways of ecstasy. When your sexual script gets tired and desire fades, trying new ways to delight each other can amplify your appetite and your spouse’s. Simple changes can be stimulating, too. Try a new room, a new fragrance, a new technique. Or try a new touch, a new kiss, a new endearment, or a new dirty talk such as the use of local language to describe the sexual organ of your spouse while having foreplay. But oddly, this is the time and moment many married men start having extra marital affair, thinking their wives were actually the cause of either their premature ejaculation, weak erection, quick ejaculation, inability to go for many rounds, erectile dysfunction, lack of libido and even impotency. The truth of the matter is familiarity actually breeds contempt. When and if you are so conversant, acquainted, accustomed and familiar with the same woman, sexually displays libidoral expression, sexual and erotic fantasies over some period of years, the possibility of you being able to easily interpret, decipher and decode all her sexual moves and even surprises is very high. And simply because of this, many husbands start off with extramarital escapades but if you give such new sexual relationship also some few years, you also experience the same sexual dissatisfaction you had with the first woman. In other words, extra marital affairs mistakes do not enhance good sexual performance nor keep good libido.
Another mistake couples make is using sickly tool to want to run a marathon. Many of our vaginas are sick, high percentage of the penis is quarter to pack up, while the prostrate is clamouring for survival to experience best of sex. You must be healthy. Strength, stamina, and flexibility all enhance the passionate experience. Steadily work towards boosting each. You’d be amazed what simply losing five per cent of your body weight will do for all of these. If you also take conscious effort to alkalinize your body system and take less of acidified and synthetic meals, you’ll have more energy for lovemaking. And if a wife takes time out to firm her vagina and works on her clitoris and the same time use good natural supplement, you’ll feel better about your body. Many prostrate problem from inflammation of the prostrate to cancer of the prostrate can really be handled by simply eating raw tomatoes and beetroot fruit on a daily basis. It is very important to recognise that there is a connection between diet and sex. Make eating fresh, healthy foods a passion, and discover new depths to your enjoyment. And also bear it in mind that food eaten by people who love healthy sex must be 80 per cent raw and 20 per cent cooked.
Mistakenly, couples do not prioritise hygiene; be lean. Never be too lazy to get up and brush your teeth. Shave, shower, use fragrance sparingly, watch for little sharp things like fingernails. Be smooth. Be touchable. On the other hand, don’t become obsessed with your appearance; that’s generally unattractive. Just notice anything that might distract someone from enjoying your body, and take care of it. Don’t let the trap of culture seal your lips; be flirtatious, say sexy, funny little things. Like so many things that give rise to passion, that will make your husband get instant erection and your wife’s vagina starts vibrating for a penis to enter fully. These gestures make erotic lovemaking starts long before you end up in the bedroom.
Saying something that only your partner would understand, placing your hand in an unexpected spot on your partner’s body, you can go as far as carefully dipping your clean hands on his penis and start caressing it, or you the husband can dip your fingers inside the panties of your wife, place one of the fingers on the clitoris while the two or three others inside the tip of the vagina and start thrusting in and out with the fingers while looking into her eyes with fire that can easily signal your desire such as ‘I am hot’. Everyone loves to be wanted. Flirting lets your spouse know just how much.
Many wives are guilty of always wanting their husbands to run after them for sex, they rather stay without sex for decades. No, if you want to receive best of affection from your husband, be willing to give him the best of beyond this world sex. The power of passion arises from sharing. The give and take in any relationship is the basis for its sweetness. If there is a way you want to be touched, let your husband know. Then be sure to touch your husband in the way he wants to be touched, or kissed, or licked. If you’re not sure, ask, be active. If there is something your husband craves, try to satisfy his needs, blow job is desired by 90 per cent of husbands; they only keep their mouth shut because their wives refuse them. Give him one right now and watch a literally transformed man you never knew existed. He will be more willing, then, to satisfy yours.
Deliberate lack of interest is a costly mistake. Many couples, both husband and wife, are not really interested in sex with their married lovers. You just have to be. Interesting passion goes beyond what happens in the bedroom. It starts with what goes on between your ears. Husband, please be a good conversationalist and wife, kindly be a better listener. Read. Listen to the news. See current movies. Go to new restaurants. Develop a fascinating hobby or try a new sport. Or get more involved in one of your partner’s passions. Having nothing to talk about, or worse, talking about the same tired topic over and over again is a passion killer. If you have something valuable to say, your partner will want to be with you, close enough to hear it. Be open to new experiences.
Sometimes sexual scripts grow stale; so, you too sometimes should change for the sake of change is good. Being open shows that you are attentive, trusting, and curious.
Couples mistakenly don’t like to leave their familiar territory, go ahead give yourself permission to experiment. You might surprise yourself. This is one way to explore your sexuality, your own special knowledge of what turns you on. You won’t know unless you try. Of course, you have the liberty to willing say No if you are sincere.
There are all kinds of reasons to say no; don’t be afraid to utter this word.
Sometimes you need to say no in a firm way and mean it. If you don’t, you’ll eventually regret it when the truth needs to come out. Passion is based on honesty and truth. Whether it’s no to bad animalistic sex, where your hands and legs are tied to the poles of the bed and you are beaten before sex, or your hair is overly pulled to help someone gain everlasting hard erection, or no to sex when you aren’t feeling romantic, don’t be afraid to utter this word. Say NO! without mincing words or else you may be dead before you are found out.
Mistakenly, married couples make communication scarce. Passion requires an ability to talk to your partner about sex. Stating what you want or need in a direct way can be sexy—if you work on good timing and know how to phrase it and be romantic about it, it’s better to say, “It feels so good when you touch me there,” in the morning than it is to protest and shout, “Don’t touch me there!” when you’re in the throes of lovemaking. Rather give a compliment, then feedback, then a compliment. “You’re a gorgeous lover. Really. Could I ask you something? When you kiss me, go a little softer, my upper lip is raw from your beard. Hmmmm, you are so amazing. “I love it when you give me heavy clitoral stimulation and romance; I feel out of this planet, can you do it once more but this time make sure you gently spread my legs apart to prevent pain and also interchange your hands with your tongue. As a matter of fact, your tongue does the job better ….. Please don’t stop.
  • To be continued next week
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Alcohol and erection
I see many people drink alcohol and they are still fine sexually. I really don’t want to buy that crap and lies that alcohol is the reason for my poor erection. Although I have been having issues with my ejaculation for three years now, a friend talked me into taking alcohol, insisting that it would help me to perform sexually. Initially it helped. I could go for five rounds and still wanting more but now, the reverse is the case; I can barely sustain erection. The point is, I try to reduce my alcohol consumption. Please, do you think it is the alcohol that is disturbing my erection? Honest reply please.
Mr. Michela Olokolale
I would emphatically say yes. I think you got deceived because you think everybody is alike. NO! Our gene defers and that is why your friend’s issues with alcohol and erection had not gone bad. But I can assure you that it will be sooner or later. But alcohol has only one assignment; destruction of our system. Alcohol never makes you sober; you can’t be sober minded if you are not sober. It is a depressant; anything that depresses should be avoided at all cost. It will leave you worst, not better. What you do in moderation, your children will do it in excess. Show me a family where alcohol has made a positive difference in their lives and health, you will not find one. Alcohol does not allow you to have self-control. It is a mind altering legal drug and the simplest drug is a silent poison. Alcohol is addictive. It is a numbing agent for pain and sorrow that only God can heal. Many regrets are associated with alcohol. Have you ever had any one say; if only I had taken a drink, things would not have got out of control. Alcohol makes us to act in ways we normally would not have. Alcohol kills the brain cells, destroys the nerves and tissue of the penis. It is provided for false peace. It is a money, time and destiny waster. It leads to all bad behaviours. Alcohol makes you behave stupidly and it has ruined many marriages. If you do not want your teenager to start drinking, do not show them how. Alcohol lowers the ability to resist evil. Some say ‘I don’t get drunk, I only had one or two bottles, well if it actually does not have effect on you, you should have just water or healthy drinks. Alcohol fills our mind with impure thoughts. Instead, drink water or water melon fruits with egg every night; it will restore your potency. Drinking two glasses of water in the morning helps activate the internal organs. Drinking one glass of water before a meal helps in digestion and weight loss. Drinking one glass of water before bed time helps prevent stroke or heart attacks. Or make a natural home drink, apple, carrot, garlic, cucumber, spinach garbage, tomatoes, and ginger.
No climaxing in spite of high libido
I have never experienced orgasm; I am not circumcised. I love sex, I demand it from my husband more regularly than he, I cannot stay two days without it but I have never experienced orgasm but I like missionary position better. Help.
Lola Oghoku
Frankly, the missionary position is the position least likely to bring a woman to climax.
But there is a subtle adjustment you can make that can increase your chances of having an orgasm: the coital alignment technique, or CAT. Have your husband move his entire body up about two inches. Your husband’s pubic bone will rest on top of yours so that the base of his penis presses on your clitoris. This position provides continuous stimulation of your clitoris during intercourse, increasing your chances of having an orgasm. Besides, let him concentrate more on your clitoris to the extent that you start breathing fast and panting, this is the starting point of orgasm. Although when it comes to sexual behaviour, no two people are always alike. Some women can reach orgasm with any position. A woman who thinks about sex has more orgasm than those who do not. When you notice, as a wife, that you are feeling stressed out, go for more orgasm. Orgasm causes a surge in the hormone oxytocin, which alleviates stress.
I need more fact about penis and its functionality
I am a new bride-to-be, can you tell me some facts and figures about penis/vagina and their functionality?
Nicole Enjupo
On the lower part of the penis is a v-shape tissue that is very sensitive to stimulation. Bigger testicles produce more sperm but not necessarily better quality. On average, the heart beats 70 times per minute but during orgasm, the heart races at 115 beats per minute. It takes 17 muscles to smile and over 100 muscles to have an orgasm. On average, couples spend two weeks of their lives kissing, the record for the longest kiss is 29 hours. In a one-minute kiss, you actually burn 26 calories, 80 per cent of husbands are turned on when wives wear sexy lingerie and expose their nipples and clitoris. In the US, the average time for sex is 10; 34pm, but Nigeria has no viable data. A woman’s sex drive is at its peak just before her period. During sex, the testicles retract into the body to protect them from getting knocked around especially during vigorous thrusting in and out and some clumsy movement. Married couples have sex 52 times a year, that is once a week; men experience an average of seven erections in a day, five of them when he is asleep, men’s nipples have the same level of pleasure receptors as women’s nipples, orgasm releases chemicals that curb appetite, so sex helps you lose weight.
The average speed of an ejaculation is 20 mph, husbands find it incredibly sexy when women take the initiative and swing their breast and buttocks. Cold shower can increase the production of sex hormone in men and women, the head of the penis has a higher concentration of nerves endings than the shaft. A teenager’s erection can last for an hour while for eight minutes when he is 70 years old. The largest human penis ever recorded is 11 inches and the longest 15 inches.
By Fumi Akingbade

Friday, March 4, 2016

Sexual erotic triggers

Couples do not know that almost every part of their bodies is an erotic trigger region. Many times, husbands come to me and bitterly complain that they are not enjoying the best of their wives sexually. A man will say because the woman is circumcised, pregnant, nursing a baby, undergoing menopause or fed up with the same old ways they have been making love, hence she is not fully involved anymore.
One thing is basic, there are high sexually sensitive areas and there are lower sexual sensitive areas but when couples concentrate only on the high sensitive areas, they tend to run out of techniques sooner than they wish, but when they interplay the high and low sexual zones intermittently, there is a possibility of newness and excitement at all times. Now, the most basic sexual trigger of most wives that many husbands play with are the breast and the clitoris, all because these organs are prominent and easily accessible. This is also because blood rushes to these areas especially when the woman is turned on, and also because the stimulation of the clitoris triggers the hood of her clitoris. The hood of the clitoris is the fold of skin that surrounds and protects the clitoral glans. Since it is less sensitive, many husbands ignore it but amazingly, this hood can handle both gentle squeezes that get her ready to be on heat without even touching the clitoris itself.

Also think of her clitoris like the head of your penis, her clitoris is jam-packed with millions of nerve endings, as is the tip of your penis. However, if the head of your penis can take a bit more pressure- the nerves are spread over a slightly larger area- her clitoris is more sensitive. This spot is filled with nerves, so it needs to be stimulated carefully. Tease the areas around it first, and then make your way to it, building up speed as you go. But finger with caution: if you spend too much time there or are too rough, too soon, she may become overstimulated, and that can be really painful for her. To keep that from happening, switch your tactics. Don’t stick with one for more than 10 seconds or so.Essentially also, the pubic mound is a good place to add some variety to your thinking selection. Try this trick; take your fingertip into a firm point, and trail it around the mound. Since you usually focus on the top three quarters of her vaginal area, she’ll be surprised and aroused because beneath the arena you are trailing your fingers on is packed full of sensory nerves.
Think of the outer curve of her breast; it is just like your shaft; consider how it feels when she gently caresses your shaft at the beginning of foreplay. This makes you totally turned on, right? Same goes for her breasts: touch it lightly, avoiding the nipples, and you’ll build her anticipation, making her all move close up to you. Next, step up the pressure.
Like your shaft, there aren’t a ton of nerves in her breasts, so they can handle a firmer grip. A wife can also get frustrated when her man is too gentle with her. That said, you can definitely be firm. Do not be afraid to grab them in your palms and stroke them with passion. Think of her G-spot, imagine it to be just like your perineum. It’s the small, spongy area located about two inches up the front wall of her vagina that gives her one of those super-deep, intense orgasms. A husband’s perineum is the patch of skin between the anus and testicles; it has nerves that run straight to the prostate, which is known as the male G-spot. Treat her G-spot with these fingering moves, as you’re stroking her clitoris with one hand, reach down and insert one finger inside her vagina and keep the motion active.
One other less sensitive area but highly erotic arena is the mind but many couples are not aware of this. And the best way you can stimulate this area is to be friends with each other and learn from your previous mistakes. When couples take record in their mind of how they are progressing sexually, they are on the road to improved dynamic sex. Quite frankly, a lot of couples don’t associate sex with friendship; they associate it with some secondary need and desires as if sex is not one of the top requirements for a successful marriage. When it comes to good sexual harmony, this column is quite explicit about its role and its effect. Sex is very good within marriage and there is no permanent prescribed style, nowhere does this column say missionary position is the only sexual style. Rather, the truth of the matter is that not discussing sex in a relationship is a gateway to disintegration of the home and divorce.
A wife told me that her husband treats her as if she is his brother. She told me, ‘I am tired of getting sex fortnightly like a salary.’ Compared to majority of other wives, I think she was lucky to be getting sex fortnightly since majority of such other wives only get it occasionally on big days, days like when the husbands are either promoted at work, or got big contracts, or on public holidays, maybe on election days, or where there is a general curfew or national strikes. You may smile and think this cannot be, but it will interest you to know that I am presently handling a serious case where the last time the husband made love to his wife was March 18, 2013 and they are still living together for the fear of what people will say.
Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures everywhere except from their matrimonial home. Many wives have acquired the position or title of ‘secondary frigidity’ because they became so by marriage and not by choice or any other way or reason. These wives even sleep fully dressed up as if they are going to resume work at a corporate office. If you are a married woman and you want to create a special bound between you and your husband, it is advisable to follow this recipe for good harmonious friendly sex; henceforth you should sleep naked and let your buttocks touch your husband and make sure you do that deliberately. This is because your buttock is another silent sex arena that though you are not aware of but mere touching your husband’s body with it will trigger him. Do you know why I insist on this? Today, you find quite a high number of men going out of their way to get a glimpse of how a vagina looks like, some frantically do this by paging through magazines and even go as far as visiting lingerie’s departments in stores to see what is hidden under panties, just because their wives hide their own vagina like an essential commodity. These men have long forgotten how a vagina looks like.
Marital sexual oneness is about being free with your body in front of your marriage spouse. A wife should parade naked and do some modelling or cat walking just to one more time ‘temp’ ‘seduce’ ‘lure’ ‘trap’ ‘entice’ ‘attract’ her husband. This may surprise you but there are many wives who do not know how their husbands’ penis looks like anymore. The only privilege opportunity they have is to only feel it when their men enter them or when they start thrusting in and out heavily. Some of these wives have even never touched it, let alone seen it because the lights are switched off before undressing. Their men only dish out orders and command to their wives on sex bed. These categories of wives are too timid to voice out their desire because according to custom, they are only to be seen and not heard on sex bed and they are only to fulfil the sexual needs of their husbands. Husbands, don’t you know that your penis is a wife’s eternal toy as long as the marriage exists and she is supposed to play with it at will, anytime, anywhere and always? Besides, beneath, around and on top of the penis are some hidden erotic arena that if the wife is taught how to manoeuvre with it with her tongue will send the husband crazy for daily sex. That is the reason why husbands should teach their timid wives all these hidden sensitive parts and as soon as these timid wives learn and become experts, I am sure husbands of such wives will experience regular erotic volcano sexual treat.
It is unaccepted myths for a spouse to indulge in constant complaint of tiredness at every given opportunity. This makes the data rate of couples who have been sexually starved for years to be on the increase. As much as God created sex for procreation, he also did it for pleasure, you can’t be married and never have a continuous good time on bed. Do not envy those having good sex; you can be one of them.
 By Fumi Akingbade