Husband, please be a good kisser, kissing promotes intimacy, which promotes passion. A deep kiss can express deep love. Don’t underestimate its power.
The fleeting touch of the lightest kiss can have more meaning than a big, sloppy wet one. Experiment with your kisses. Go light. Go firm. Lick the nipple deeply. Tickle the clitoris from side to side. Suck the penis deep and light.
Do not jeopardise with your reproductive health; mind your sexual health.
Most people don’t give it any thought, but passion is totally dependent on how you take care of your body. For men, your fitness affects your erections. When you work out, your body may create more testosterone. Your heart and vascular system are healthier, too, preserving erectile function. For women, your fitness affects your hormonal balance and mood.
Fitness also improves serotonin, which picks up mood. Work out. It’s good for your “love muscles.” Have real sex, not Hollywood sex; movies make people think that passionate sex happens instantly, with three minutes of foreplay and simultaneous orgasms. Pornography is even worse. Nobody could possibly be comfortable in some of those positions, let alone aroused.
To have passionate sex, you need to take your time and build arousal. Arousal leads to better orgasm. The passion that you see in the movies is choreographed as carefully as any ballet. Choreograph your own love to whatever rhythm you wish for more explosive orgasms. Many spouses lack manners; be respectful. Did you know that just a few negative comments could cause a woman to have difficulty with orgasm? Some even go frigid for life or a man to lose his erection and become impotent for years. No matter how strong or self-confident they may seem, people can be very vulnerable about their sexuality. In a culture where people are expected to be naturally good married lovers, sexual confidence is actually quite low because of low self-esteem and bastardised and demoralised ego. Start building it back with open, loving, and respectful communication.
Do not be part of the couples that have sex once in a month; have sex regularly.
Regular sex is good for your marriage relationship–but not only because it keeps your love vital. But research has shown that couples that have regular sex look, on average, 10 years younger than their peers. Regular sex can help you sleep deeper and soundly, diminish pain especially migraine and headaches; reduce stress and make you feel all is well. Improve your mood; you are always happier. Balance your hormones. It’s a little like exercise. Your body needs sex. It creates a desire for it. Heed your desire. Your body will thank you.
Perfect practice makes passion perfect. A body of sex therapists once said that sex is more than body parts and friction, it is medicinal so if you are challenged with erectile dysfunction, weak erection, premature ejaculation, or the most dreaded impotency, see me as a sex therapist, I will help you out. Others have received permanent help; yours is next. Think of love making as a skill; there is always something new to learn. People think being a good lover should come naturally. It does. If you relax and enjoy the sensations of sex, you’ll be fine. But what if you can’t relax? You can learn. How? By making love, again and again and calling up on sex therapist to be of assistance [I am one]. And the more you practise, the more relaxed you’ll become.
Perfectly passionate. It’s the journey, not the destination. It’s true: It isn’t all about the orgasm at the end. It’s about the experience that you have on the way there. Like a good road trip, getting to your destination is more than half the fun. Take your time. Take a detour. Speed up. Pour a little more wine. Go back to making love. Get serious. Get funny; get help from me. I am more than willing. Wonder what’s around the bend? Create tension. Hold your breath. Breathe. The goal is to make the trip so much fun that nobody really cares if it ends in fireworks or just your plain, everyday wonderful orgasm.
Learn new types of touch
If you just grab your wife’s breast the same way every time you want sex, you’re going to wear out your welcome because it could actually be very painful. Imagine someone grabs, pulls, jerks, yanks, twitches your penis with such force and pull, how would you honestly feel? [Send in your answers]
Lastly, let’s talk about quickies mistake. There is something to be said for quickies, but a lot to be said for other approaches as well. Touch can be very healing, and when you understand that affectionate touch can enhance closeness and trust, you’ll see more passion develop in your relationship.
Try touch and caress with one finger, the back of your hand. Use your thumb. Massage in oil or lotion. Spread powder. Go lightly. Go firmly. When wives want to massage their husbands’ penis, please do not apply too much pressure and do not caress with your bare hands; experiment with lubricants and not Vaseline. Lubricants are your friends. Seriously. Lubricant makes the entire lovemaking experience more comfortable for men and women. The fact is that a woman can enjoy great foreplay and still be dry. That’s because changes in oestrogen levels can affect natural lubrication. When a woman doesn’t get wet enough on her own, both partners sometimes feel confused or let down. Look for a lubricant that is free from glycerine, which is a synthetic sugar. Apply liberally as needed.
Have fun; fantasies are a fun way to get turned on.
But they should be discussed ahead of time. You want to make sure that whatever fantasy you are going to try will be fun for both of you. Agree upon a signal that lets your spouse know you are going beyond your comfort zone, and they need to reign it back in a bit. Once you have things figured out, go for it and don’t feel guilty for satisfying your desires. Never make your bed a stage; one way to spoil a passionate relationship is to focus on performance. If you are worried about yourself–how you move, what you look like, whether you are pleasing your lover–you’re focusing too much on you and not enough on your partner and the process. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. You worry about your performance, and your performance suffers.
Instead, be mindful. Enjoy your senses. Experience each moment as it unfolds.
Focus on touch, sight, taste, and smell. Make sure passion is your focus, not your performance. Explore the erotic, erotic is different from pornographic. Pornography serves one purpose: to excite the viewer. Erotic movies, photos, stories, and poems go further. Erotic material explains why someone feels the way they do. Emotions such as love, longing, lust, and passion are expressed. You can explore the erotic by searching out books of erotic poems, finding erotic books and stories explain lots of sexual facts. Sometimes sex can be serious, say, if you are making love for the first time after a stressful period, or when you’re just in that sort of mood. But sex can be playful, too. Make a funny sound, stick out your tongue to tease your married lover, play a game of naked tag, or bring a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup or strawberry flavoured natural lubricant to bed. Relate a fantasy or play a love song. Laugh at your body parts, your hair, or the way your partner sucks in air when excited.
Being playful is a way to deepen intimacy. Through erotic play, trust and intimacy grow.
Whatever you have learnt here, always let your lovemaking express your feelings.
Love without feeling becomes mechanical over time. If you focus on technique instead of feelings, you can feel good, but you may not feel close. You may feel turned on, but you may not feel passion. Remind yourself of why you are with your spouse. What makes you care about him or her? Then let your touch express your caring and affection. Even early in a relationship, when feelings may not be so deep, you can and should express positive feelings for your lover. One of the many ways to overcome many known and un-known sexual challenges is to be able to know how to fill in the unspoken lines of passion gaps. When couples do the above, libidoral mistakes become a thing of the past.
Enjoy reading. Still your long time bedroom instructor.
Questions & Answers
I need more fact about penis and its functionality
I am a new bride-to-be, can you tell me some facts and figures about penis/vagina and their functionality?
Nicole Enjupo
On the lower part of the penis is a v-shape tissue that is very sensitive to stimulation. Bigger testicles produce more sperm but not necessarily better quality. On average, the heart beats 70 times per minute but during orgasm, the heart races at 115 beats per minute. It takes 17 muscles to smile and over 100 muscles to have an orgasm. On average, couples spend two weeks of their lives kissing, the record for the longest kiss is 29 hours. In a one-minute kiss, you actually burn 26 calories, 80 per cent of husbands are turned on when wives wear sexy lingerie and expose their nipples and clitoris. In the US, the average time for sex is 10; 34pm, but Nigeria has no viable data. A woman’s sex drive is at its peak just before her period. During sex, the testicles retract into the body to protect them from getting knocked around especially during vigorous thrusting in and out and some clumsy movement. On the average, married couples have sex 52 times a year, that is once a week; men experience an average of seven erections in a day, five of them when he is asleep, men’s nipples have the same level of pleasure receptors as women’s nipples, orgasm releases chemicals that curb appetite, so sex helps you lose weight.
The average speed of an ejaculation is 20 mph, husbands find it incredibly sexy when women take the initiative and swing their breast and buttocks. Cold shower can increase the production of sex hormone in men and women, the head of the penis has a higher concentration of nerves endings than the shaft. A teenager’s erection can last for an hour while for eight minutes when he is 70 years old. The largest human penis ever recorded is 11 inches and the longest 15 inches.
Can I impregnate with my small penis?
Funmi, with my condition, do you think I can ever get any woman pregnant? I have a small penis that ejaculates prematurely. I must confess to you, I am so dejected. Can a man ejaculate and pee at the same time? My friends say that is why I have not been able to get my wife pregnant.
Very depressed
Yes, you can get a woman pregnant, even though your penis is small and you ejaculate prematurely. Some sperm cells can mix with the new sperm in your urethra from a previous ejaculation if you go for the second or the third round of sex. However, you do not need to suffer in silence. The great [36-hours-of-freedom] against premature ejaculation, weak erection and erectile dysfunction is available with the newly discovered herbs from China for small penis.
As regards whether a man can ejaculate and pee the same time, no. Just before climax, the tube leading to a man’s bladder seals off, so semen can shoot through his penis. Please, do not listen to ‘old women’s fable; seek proper counselling from the right avenues.
My husband wants sex anywhere
Funmi, I think God designed sexual intimacy for mutual pleasure, all my husband wants is for him to be sexually satisfied even if I am hospitalised. You may think I am over reacting, no. The last time I was hospitalised, my husband still had three rounds of sex with me while he gave the whole world the impression that he was babysitting and nursing me in the hospital. He does not even care if I truly want sex or not. He keeps saying he paid so much for my bride price; are my feelings not important also? His position is that if I loved him, I would see performing sex and even oral sex as an act of love and it would not matter if it led to intercourse. I am not opposed to oral sex, but I feel cheapened when he asks for it outright as if I am a ‘call girl’. Am I silly to feel this way, or what do you think?
Mrs Oreku Adio
Inasmuch as sex is a healthy thing between husband and wife, it should be done with mutual respect and dignity. I would appreciate if you find a very conducive time to lovely explain this to your husband, I believe that oral-genital stimulation is an acceptable form of sexual play from a medical, physiological, and theological point of view. The issue of mutuality is an important component of sexual intimacy. It applies not only to form of stimulation, but also to frequency, initiation and preference of location. It sounds as though you perceive your husband’s desire for oral stimulation as a self-centred demand for service. However, I think you need to have a full understanding of the male psyche and sexuality. Men have not only a high sexual drive with sexual thoughts occurring frequently throughout the day, but they are also bombarded with sexual images, attractions and distractions that they may build fantasies around. Because of this, your husband may be expecting you to seize the opportunity with him by gratifying his desire to “give him” orally. I think perhaps he just wants to share what his sexual fantasies and ideas are with you his sweet heart. I would rather you see those desires not as demands, but as opportunities to show selfless love. Therefore, instead of refusing his demand, why not just say “I want us to be closer sexually. If this is what you want, then let’s have it.”
By Funmi Akingbade
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