Friday, May 13, 2016

Why office affairs seem difficult to break (4)

As much as I would have loved to put an end to this topic last week and move on to another interesting topic entirely, I kept on getting countless calls, WhatsApp messages, SMS and hectic visits to my office due to the effect the topic has generated so far. So I deemed it necessary one more time to do justice to this topic to the best of my ability. So today, we shall be looking at another two reasons husbands run after office affairs.  Many husbands fall victims of ‘office affair’ in the bid to avoid marital stress. They would rather unwind in a stress-free, conducive, weird but wonderful spot than being at home with their wives. An affluent Ghanaian tourist who was visiting  my office for the second time, came in at about 11am to collect  some erotic, educative films, lubricants and sex tools for himself and his ‘call girl’ which he had earlier on ordered for. Knowing he was married and had previously been treated with the Chinese herbs for enlargement of penis with a fantastic result; I wanted to know why he opted to go on vacation with a ‘call girl’ and not his wife.  ‘Sir, why do you prefer to watch such educative erotic films with a total stranger and not your wife?’ I asked. His instant response was an eye opener. “Madam, I have just one life to live, I want to live it to the fullest; I do not want to die before my time.” ‘Really,’ I replied, ‘are you hiding from kidnappers or running away from hired assassins or what is actually after your life?’ I asked because to the best of my knowledge, this client has a wife that any man would die to have; she is beautiful, elegant, and highly influential. It took him a moment before he actually answered in a low sad voice. He said, “hmmm madam, you know how these things are, before marriage, most Nigerian women often curtail their unpleasant manners, act of devilish jealousy and misbehaviours just to get the man hooked but the moment she starts sharing your bed, kitchen and your cheque book, it does not take long for distinct bad habit to expose itself, even when you are willing to understand, tolerate and bear it, that is the time they are ready to frustrate your life. I know it is not fair for me to do what I am doing but madam, I have tolerated my wife’s ill-manner long enough. I need to live again.
 “Do you know that for the past twelve years of marriage, my wife has always denied me sex time and again, all in the name of her rubbish meetings because of the position she occupies in the office and society. We only have sex once in three months or at her convenience and that is when she has made me less than a man with her speech and attitudes. I have begged, bought her things, established her in business and even bought a copy of your book, Sexual intimacy in marriage, just to feel the passion of sex with the woman I love, married and want to spend the rest of my life with, all to no avail. My wife is a beauty to behold, with excellent shape but she thinks she is too good for me. She would give one thousand and one reasons why I must be sex starved especially when she wants to prove a point or wants to have her way. Her ‘middle name’ is ‘no sex for you’. Why do I have a wife yet suffer tremendously from rejection 24/7?  As much as I would in all sincerity love to take these films home to her for both of us to enjoy, can I tell you what I would get in return? accusations, abuses, rebukes, scolding, lectures, tell offs, castigations, chastisement and preaching. So madam, if you were in my shoes, would you not go for a ‘call girl? Most times, the culture blames men for infidelity but has the culture ever wondered what some of such men are going through in the bid to make their marriage work? Many women are devil incarnate in their behaviour, especially when things are not going their way. I want to live!!!”
Without doubt, the tool of sex is one of the most important ‘can’t do without’ for most men and women. Many times, wives allow whatever differences they have to affect their sex life; when a wife constantly nags, compares, appears too good for the man, disrespects and criticises her husband, the memories of such actions stay longer than expected and such memories do not have expiring date. When a wife does not mind her words, she may mistakenly be sending her man into the arms of ‘call girls’ or office girls because memories affect sexual melody. Research has shown that a husband’s sex drive and libido is directly linked to his ears. The tendency to run away from negative speeches and speaker to positive one makes husbands run into the arms of ‘call girls’ and arms of a female co-workers. I got this direct statement from a barrister that I will call Lopeonje, ‘these girls do not make unattainable demands, take undue advantage, nor ‘school’ you like a mother.’
Wives, do not use demeaning words to describe your husband’s penis or sexual activities, or sexual inadequacies; rather enhance every shortcoming with positive speech. When a wife compares her husband’s sexual skill with her former lover or a porn video, this is an open cheque to try someone new and ‘call girls’ and office co-workers are always the first to heed such calls and beckons.  Do not place a ‘price tag’ or embargo on your sexual organs; if you do, some immature husbands may go for the lesser bidder. From research, many ‘call girls’ are not using ‘juju’ on your husband; they just know how to treat them like an irreplaceable and most important customer. Many wives forbid their husbands from touching their breasts because they don’t  want to be rough handled. Yes, as much as your breast should not become a tissue paper in the hands of your husband, it is one area that arouses their sexual triggers. Tell them how best to handle this special commodity.
  Believe it or not, a dirty, unclean, untidy and an unorganised woman sends her man running to the arm of a ‘fine articulate, sexy female co-worker with good body odour’. Remember, there is a place for everything and everything must be in place. Learn how to be orderly, neat, and well kept. Some husbands would rather pay for the service of a ‘female co-worker or call girl’ than have sex with a dirty wife whose vagina, armpit and hairdo smell.
Many wives fail to interpret their husband’s libidoral preferences and language. Some husbands want wives that are very entertaining in bed, they want to be mentally stimulated which means looking sexy gets them hot! While some are straightforward and down-to-earth in sexual matters, they are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying at all times. Another category of men are those with strong, electrifying and deep sexuality, but very particular about hygiene. Good hygiene stimulates their erotic appetites, which can be voracious when awakened.
Music or other forms of sensual, non-verbal expression will strike a chord in some husbands; it opens the floodgates of passion, which can be both insatiable and possessive. They love to listen and feel every moment, they love fresh, clean, and uncomplicated body aroma. Touch is magic to them, and they love long, sensual kissing sessions. The neck and the ear lobe are sensitive zones for such husbands. Kiss and lick it gently, run your fingers on it softly, clutch it tenderly as you kiss slowly and sensually. Undress slowly, this makes them to be solid and strong in bed.
Another set of men are aggressive, action-oriented, often impatient, and at times even a bit impulsive; they find any sort of delay or deferral almost impossible to bear. While others are easily carried away by excellent personality, fine character and nice speeches, the key technique to turning such husbands on is admiration, praise and more praise.
A wife must be a mistress of seduction, giving room for adjustment. According to research, men appreciate foreplay for the same reasons women do; it feels good physically and the extra anticipation makes their orgasm more intense. The common consensus that men like it fast and furious is only a myth. Husbands really like seeing their wives naked; it is a sure fire libido trigger. When a man sees a sexy image, his testosterone levels rise, spiking his sex drive and making his penis erect.
The longer you let his eyes linger, the more aroused he will be. While he is on the bed, peel off your clothes slowly. Keep the lights on and tell him he can look but not touch. Rotate around and let him view you from different angles, then lean unto him for a few close-ups. To draw his gaze to a certain body region, brush your fingers over it or cup it in your hands. Alternatively, keep the area covered a bit by wearing a lacy bra or bum shorts. When you finally remove that last item, he will feel like he is seeing something like a taboo, which is a turn-on move that will slowly bring his craving to a boil. The ultimate take-him-prisoner movie is a move ‘call girls don’t miss out on and who says you can’t make it happen for him.
While he is on his back, scoot down so you can touch the skin and awaken the nerves, so you get him ready for a more direct stimulation later on. Boost his bliss even further by gliding your tongue along each crease while his knees are bent and his legs are spread slightly. This position will make him feel more vulnerable, magnifying every sensation your mouth makes.
From my personal experience and interactions with many couples, I have discovered that sex and money are the two most important ingredients in marriage. When the two are present, a marriage enjoys unqualified bliss but when any of the two is missing, just one outcome is possible: unending crises. The way and manner rich wives handle money is another reason why many husbands run to call girls just to nurse their ego.
He who pays the piper calls the tune is a very true statement but when the wife is the one paying the piper, she must wisely and subtly call the tune.
 Have the best of sex life till next week when I come your way. I am still your loyal bedroom instructor.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Why office affairs seem difficult to break (3)

It is amazing how the present topic we are dealing with has generated many responses from our numerous readers from home and abroad. Well, today we shall still examine another reason or reasons why office affairs have become an endemic situation. Believe it or not, the quest and longing for blowjob is one of the reasons many partners especially the husbands find themselves in the arms of another woman. Before you think this is not a good enough reason why a highly educated, responsible, complete gentleman and a good father will condescend so low to fall into the arms of a co-worker just to receive a blowjob, you need to ask what is so special about blowjob men. As strange or anti-culture or anti-tradition blowjob appears, it is one of the many fantasies of most husbands and oddly, the wives of these husbands behave as if blowjob is a death sentence. They live in denial and blind themselves to the need of their husbands who live and dream of this act of sexuality.
Majority of husbands love blowjob but few voice it out for fear of being reprimanded. From the various feedback so far, there is a way ‘many of these ladies in the office perform blowjob that some of these husbands do not only wish their wives would know, but keep making them ask for more. A few days ago, a top executive booked an appointment with me in my Lagos clinic.  He wanted to receive a private sexual health counselling because one of his best friends just died recently in his hotel room while having a romantic session, one of which is a ‘classical’ blowjob treat. His friend, a highly successful man was married with two children but prior to the time he received the blowjob treat, he had suffered a mild stroke.
In the course of our discussion, he said, “Madam, we husbands know the right thing to do, we are aware we should not cheat on our wives but  many of these office girls know how to dish out breathtaking blowjob styles that our wives frown at which we enjoy to the fullest.”
“What do you mean by this, sir? I enquired anxiously. “What I am saying is that these office girls understand and appreciate our sexual cravings; they play the game by the rule and know the right place to hit. Though dirty sometimes, that is what makes it more interesting, appealing, tempting and alluring to many of us. These girls have originality and take initiatives that make us go gaga. If same requisition is asked from our wives, the way and manner these wives will size us up with a disdain look makes you think as if you just slaughtered a living being. And in view of this, we try to play along to make them believe we are the perfect husbands and get all we want from these office girls at little or no expense.”
I am sure many wives are not in good terms with me because they think I am not encouraging bonding between them and their husbands, but on the contrary, believe me, my concern is to see a sexually responsible husband; a man who would be sexually loyal to his wife and a good father to his children. However the truth has to be told that originality and initiative work well on the psychic of men than you can ever imagine, and that is why it is very important for wives to be up to the task. You must learn the secret trade codes of these ‘office girls and send your husband off their back before they send you packing from your matrimonial home.  My fellow sisters, are you good in bed? What is the most memorable and most incredible sex you have ever given your husband lately that can erase his memories of alternatives,  blowjob inclusive? When his mood never strikes, what trick do you play to instigate sex?   Have you ever performed an erotic dance in front of your husband until he caves in and reacts?  The word blowjob sounds so awful to some wives, but the absence of it in some marriages can affect the home adversely. Let us dig deep into the practical details on this sexy treat.
According to research, 33 per cent of husbands say they wish their wives would surprise them with blowjob when they walk in the door, while 54 per cent of them want blowjob as foreplay. Fifty-one per cent of husbands complain that their wives ignore their scrotom during blowjob season. Wisdom then demands that if this is the case, nothing stops a wise spouse to phone or text her husband when he is almost home, and then ambush him with a full dose of blowjob.
As soon as you both are on bed, lay side-by-side by him, put your head near his penis waste no time, start licking his penis. As you lick his penis, let your hands massage his ‘balls’ rubbing them simultaneously. Mrs. Young who went home and practised blowjob on her husband discovered that one of her husband’s ‘balls’ was bigger and this worried her. Please do not let this ruin the thrilling pleasure of the service you are rendering.  It is normal for one ball to be bigger than the other; they are like feet, breasts, hands and ears: no two are identical.
One way to give your man earth-shattering blowjob pleasure is to caress his penis and scrotom until he has an erection; stroke a flat hand all the way down his penis, over his balls and on to his inner thighs, then slowly move it back up again. The sensation will be most intense around the tip of his penis but by continuing the stroke, you will get him used to the different levels of arousal in each area.
Trail your tongue down his shaft to the area between his testicles and the base. Purse your lips together, and lightly suck on the patch of skin. It is packed with nerve endings, so any attention you give it will feel heavenly. One thing that ‘call girls’ employ as a turn on for husbands is enthusiasm. In fact, lots of them have a hard time fully enjoying themselves sexually because they worry that their wives hate being down there. Please let him know you like it by softly moaning as you take him into your mouth.
With blowjob, his temperature rises slightly when he is aroused, so anything cool will be a pleasurable addition. Put on the air-conditioner or point a fan in his direction so that while you are between his legs, he is feeling both warm from your mouth and a cool breeze from the fan or air-conditioner. The combination can send him over the edge. How I wish you will try this, this night and give me a call.
The ridge of his penis where the tip meets the shaft is very sensitive to touch. Place your lips around that ridge like a vice. Apply firm pressure as you would squeeze fruit, then release and repeat. This movement perks up the nerves and lets him relax, which can feel good. There is another unique way to give his frenulum, which is the tiny bump on the underside of his penis where the shaft meets the tip, a treat. Just place the tip of your finger on it, and then take his shaft (along with your finger) into your mouth. As you move your mouth up and down, rub your finger over the joint, he will exclaim in pleasure.
You probably already know a man is visual, but it can be hard for him to get a decent view while you are down there lavishing his penis with devotion and worship. Place a standing mirror next to you so he can check you out. The combination of feeling and seeing you will blow his mind; I am so certain no ‘female co-worker’ can compete with this.
Many wives run from blowjob because they do not want their husband to ejaculate into their mouth. There is no big deal at all. All you need to do is ask him to signal to you when he is about to climax so you can move your mouth from his penis but keep on stimulating him with your hands.
Lastly, another way to get these female co-workers off the back of  your husband into forever blowjob bliss is this: start pleasuring him orally by sucking him, and when he’s close to climax, put his penis between your breasts. You can heat up his passion by rubbing some baby oil into the  cleavage of your breasts, then, place your palms on either side of your breasts and push them together as he slides the shaft of his penis back and forth until he gets to climax. No matter how many times he makes demand on you, the goal is to make it as pleasure-filled as possible. If any wife out there can do this, you will not only win the heart of your husband over again, there would not be need for you to worry over ‘call girls.’
Another reason married men go after their female office co-workers, stay out at night and hang out with the boys is because many of the girls serve them lots of natural aphrodisiac food and erotic films. They give them one off-time treat that makes these men come over and over again. Aphrodisiacs are substances, usually food, drinks or films that enhance sexual desire and energy that affects sexual ability. Aphrodisiacs have been used from centuries and couples still turn to them to give an increase in sexual desire. I always encourage couples to try aphrodisiacs to spice up their libido. There are many products both natural and artificial that fall into this category; there are imported ones and they are available in our clinic. These girls do not only prepare food with aphrodisiacs, they directly apply them on their body for the man to eat from. For instance, nothing stops a wife from smearing her vagina with pure honey while her husband licks from it. How about serving him with a hot ‘tiger nut drink?’
Some common available ones include combination of watermelon and egg white, locreal drink, ginger, bananas, roasted nuts, cucumbers, ginseng, tomatoes, local popcorn, onions, curry leaves, honey and chocolate.  They have an immediate effect on the couple’s moods and they are sensual-inducing spice and since they produce results, awaken and provoke sexual energy, why not go for them? The list is unending if a wife takes it upon herself to go more than she has gone, many of the husbands will stay home more. Until next week, keep your sex bed fire blasting.
By Funmi AkinGbade

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

The 7 Characteristics Of An Eagle And Why They Are Lessons For Good Leadership

1. Eagles Have vision if you ever happen to see an eagle sitting high above the tree or cliff of a stiff mountain, watch closely and see how attentive the bird is. The body sits still and the head will be tilted side to side to observed what is happening below, around and above it. Even if its flying close by, you can observe how keen its eyes are looking for its prey. Eagles have a keen vision. Their eyes are specially designed for long distance focus and clarity. They can spot another eagle soaring from 50 miles away.
Does this characteristic ring a bell in your mind? I am sure it does. Look at great leaders of this world who have come and gone. There are many great leaders that came and went but one characteristic that is common in all is"Vision". Vision is a successful leadership characteristic take Abraham Lincoln for example. Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, guided his country through the most devastating experience in its national history, the Civil War. He had a vision, to save the union and free the slaves. He is considered by many historians to have been the greatest American president.
You must have a vision that guides and leads your team towards the organization's or societal goals. The vision must be big and focused. A big, focused vision will produce big results.
2. Eagles are fearless. An eagle will never surrender to the size or strength of its prey. It will always give a fight to win its prey or regain its territory.
Try and watch the video on how the Golden Eagle displays remarkable hunting strategy, preying on goats much larger than itself by throwing them off the cliff face.
No matter what the size of that person or what weapon they maybe holding, you would attack them without thought or regard for yourself. It wouldn’t even dawn on you to be afraid because your instinct is to protect that which you love and cherish.
Successful leaders are fearless. They face problems head on.
3. Eagles are Tenacious
Watch an eagle when a storm comes. When other birds fly away from the storm with fear, an eagle spreads its mighty wings and uses the current to soar to greater heights. The eagle takes advantage of the very storm that lesser birds fear and head for cover.
Challenges in the life of a leader are many. These are the storm we must face as leaders to rise to greater heights. Like an eagle, a leader can only rise to greater heights if he takes up the challenges head on without running away from it. This is yet another leadership characteristic.
4. Eagles are High FlyersEagles can fly up to an altitude of10,000 feet, but they are able to swiftly land on the ground. At 10, 000 feet, you will never find another bird. If you find another bird, it has to be an eagle.
An eagle doesn't mingle around with the pigeons. It was Dr. Myles Munroe who said that. Pigeons scavenge on the ground and grumble and complain all day long. Eagles are not.
They fly and make less noise waiting for opportunities to strike their next prey or glide with the current of the storm.
Great leaders are problem solvers.
They don't complain like the pigeons do. They love to take challenges as the eagle does when the storm comes.
5. Eagles Never Eat Dead Meat
An eagle never eats dead meat. In other words, an eagle does not scavenge. It only eats the meat from the prey it kills itself. Eagles eat raw and fresh meat What a great act of true leadership.
A true leader spends time with people who are vibrant and liberal in thinking. You have to be with people who can think, make informed decisions and take actions.
These are the people who bring changes to the society. They are lively and active people. Go out and look for them.
According to Tony Buzan, a proponent of the techniques of Mind Mapping and mental literacy, these type of people are called change thinkers and change makers.
There is a saying that goes like this:"People you hang around with and the books you read eventually determines the person you become."
6. Eagles posses VitalityEagles are full of life and are visionary but they find time to look back at their life and re-energize themselves. This happens at about the age of 30. What happens is that when the eagles reach the age of 30, their physical body condition deteriorates fast making it difficult for them to survive.
What is really interesting is that the eagle never gives up living, instead it retreats to a mountaintop and over a five month period goes through a metamorphosis.
It knocks off its own beak by banging it against a rock, plucks out its talons and then feathers. Each stage produces a re-growth of the removed body parts, allowing the eagle to live for another 30 - 40 years.
There are times in your life as a leader that you must look back and take stock of your life. The good and the bad experiences you have been through as a leader. Are you keeping in trend with the current knowledge trend? Do you need to improve your certain areas in your life as a leader? Great leaders are the ones that always do "check and balance"of their personal and professional lives and make an effort to learn things every day.
7. Eagles Nurture their younger ones Believe this or not.
Eagles are known for their aggression. They are absolutely ferocious aren't they? Any one who doesn't have a total knowledge of this great bird will say yes. What is more astonishing with this bird is their ability to nurture their young ones. Research has shown that no member of the bird family is more gentle and attentive to its young ones than the eagles.
This is how it happens. When the mother eagle sees that time has come for it to teach the eaglets to fly, she gathers an eaglet onto her back, and spreading her wings, flies high. Suddenly she swoops out from under the eaglet and allows it to fall. As it falls,it gradually learns what its wings are for until the mother catches it once again. The process is repeated. If the young is slow to learn or cowardly, she returns it to the nest, and begins to tear it apart, until there is nothing left for the eaglet to cling to. Then she nudges him off the cliff. True leaders are not bosses. They grow with their people. They strive to make individuals in the organization or society grow to their full ability. They teach and guide just like the mother eagle does. They never stop giving challenges but never give-up empowering and directing.