As much as I would have loved to put an end to this topic last week and move on to another interesting topic entirely, I kept on getting countless calls, WhatsApp messages, SMS and hectic visits to my office due to the effect the topic has generated so far. So I deemed it necessary one more time to do justice to this topic to the best of my ability. So today, we shall be looking at another two reasons husbands run after office affairs. Many husbands fall victims of ‘office affair’ in the bid to avoid marital stress. They would rather unwind in a stress-free, conducive, weird but wonderful spot than being at home with their wives. An affluent Ghanaian tourist who was visiting my office for the second time, came in at about 11am to collect some erotic, educative films, lubricants and sex tools for himself and his ‘call girl’ which he had earlier on ordered for. Knowing he was married and had previously been treated with the Chinese herbs for enlargement of penis with a fantastic result; I wanted to know why he opted to go on vacation with a ‘call girl’ and not his wife. ‘Sir, why do you prefer to watch such educative erotic films with a total stranger and not your wife?’ I asked. His instant response was an eye opener. “Madam, I have just one life to live, I want to live it to the fullest; I do not want to die before my time.” ‘Really,’ I replied, ‘are you hiding from kidnappers or running away from hired assassins or what is actually after your life?’ I asked because to the best of my knowledge, this client has a wife that any man would die to have; she is beautiful, elegant, and highly influential. It took him a moment before he actually answered in a low sad voice. He said, “hmmm madam, you know how these things are, before marriage, most Nigerian women often curtail their unpleasant manners, act of devilish jealousy and misbehaviours just to get the man hooked but the moment she starts sharing your bed, kitchen and your cheque book, it does not take long for distinct bad habit to expose itself, even when you are willing to understand, tolerate and bear it, that is the time they are ready to frustrate your life. I know it is not fair for me to do what I am doing but madam, I have tolerated my wife’s ill-manner long enough. I need to live again.
“Do you know that for the past twelve years of marriage, my wife has always denied me sex time and again, all in the name of her rubbish meetings because of the position she occupies in the office and society. We only have sex once in three months or at her convenience and that is when she has made me less than a man with her speech and attitudes. I have begged, bought her things, established her in business and even bought a copy of your book, Sexual intimacy in marriage, just to feel the passion of sex with the woman I love, married and want to spend the rest of my life with, all to no avail. My wife is a beauty to behold, with excellent shape but she thinks she is too good for me. She would give one thousand and one reasons why I must be sex starved especially when she wants to prove a point or wants to have her way. Her ‘middle name’ is ‘no sex for you’. Why do I have a wife yet suffer tremendously from rejection 24/7? As much as I would in all sincerity love to take these films home to her for both of us to enjoy, can I tell you what I would get in return? accusations, abuses, rebukes, scolding, lectures, tell offs, castigations, chastisement and preaching. So madam, if you were in my shoes, would you not go for a ‘call girl? Most times, the culture blames men for infidelity but has the culture ever wondered what some of such men are going through in the bid to make their marriage work? Many women are devil incarnate in their behaviour, especially when things are not going their way. I want to live!!!”
Without doubt, the tool of sex is one of the most important ‘can’t do without’ for most men and women. Many times, wives allow whatever differences they have to affect their sex life; when a wife constantly nags, compares, appears too good for the man, disrespects and criticises her husband, the memories of such actions stay longer than expected and such memories do not have expiring date. When a wife does not mind her words, she may mistakenly be sending her man into the arms of ‘call girls’ or office girls because memories affect sexual melody. Research has shown that a husband’s sex drive and libido is directly linked to his ears. The tendency to run away from negative speeches and speaker to positive one makes husbands run into the arms of ‘call girls’ and arms of a female co-workers. I got this direct statement from a barrister that I will call Lopeonje, ‘these girls do not make unattainable demands, take undue advantage, nor ‘school’ you like a mother.’
Wives, do not use demeaning words to describe your husband’s penis or sexual activities, or sexual inadequacies; rather enhance every shortcoming with positive speech. When a wife compares her husband’s sexual skill with her former lover or a porn video, this is an open cheque to try someone new and ‘call girls’ and office co-workers are always the first to heed such calls and beckons. Do not place a ‘price tag’ or embargo on your sexual organs; if you do, some immature husbands may go for the lesser bidder. From research, many ‘call girls’ are not using ‘juju’ on your husband; they just know how to treat them like an irreplaceable and most important customer. Many wives forbid their husbands from touching their breasts because they don’t want to be rough handled. Yes, as much as your breast should not become a tissue paper in the hands of your husband, it is one area that arouses their sexual triggers. Tell them how best to handle this special commodity.
Believe it or not, a dirty, unclean, untidy and an unorganised woman sends her man running to the arm of a ‘fine articulate, sexy female co-worker with good body odour’. Remember, there is a place for everything and everything must be in place. Learn how to be orderly, neat, and well kept. Some husbands would rather pay for the service of a ‘female co-worker or call girl’ than have sex with a dirty wife whose vagina, armpit and hairdo smell.
Many wives fail to interpret their husband’s libidoral preferences and language. Some husbands want wives that are very entertaining in bed, they want to be mentally stimulated which means looking sexy gets them hot! While some are straightforward and down-to-earth in sexual matters, they are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying at all times. Another category of men are those with strong, electrifying and deep sexuality, but very particular about hygiene. Good hygiene stimulates their erotic appetites, which can be voracious when awakened.
Music or other forms of sensual, non-verbal expression will strike a chord in some husbands; it opens the floodgates of passion, which can be both insatiable and possessive. They love to listen and feel every moment, they love fresh, clean, and uncomplicated body aroma. Touch is magic to them, and they love long, sensual kissing sessions. The neck and the ear lobe are sensitive zones for such husbands. Kiss and lick it gently, run your fingers on it softly, clutch it tenderly as you kiss slowly and sensually. Undress slowly, this makes them to be solid and strong in bed.
Another set of men are aggressive, action-oriented, often impatient, and at times even a bit impulsive; they find any sort of delay or deferral almost impossible to bear. While others are easily carried away by excellent personality, fine character and nice speeches, the key technique to turning such husbands on is admiration, praise and more praise.
A wife must be a mistress of seduction, giving room for adjustment. According to research, men appreciate foreplay for the same reasons women do; it feels good physically and the extra anticipation makes their orgasm more intense. The common consensus that men like it fast and furious is only a myth. Husbands really like seeing their wives naked; it is a sure fire libido trigger. When a man sees a sexy image, his testosterone levels rise, spiking his sex drive and making his penis erect.
The longer you let his eyes linger, the more aroused he will be. While he is on the bed, peel off your clothes slowly. Keep the lights on and tell him he can look but not touch. Rotate around and let him view you from different angles, then lean unto him for a few close-ups. To draw his gaze to a certain body region, brush your fingers over it or cup it in your hands. Alternatively, keep the area covered a bit by wearing a lacy bra or bum shorts. When you finally remove that last item, he will feel like he is seeing something like a taboo, which is a turn-on move that will slowly bring his craving to a boil. The ultimate take-him-prisoner movie is a move ‘call girls don’t miss out on and who says you can’t make it happen for him.
While he is on his back, scoot down so you can touch the skin and awaken the nerves, so you get him ready for a more direct stimulation later on. Boost his bliss even further by gliding your tongue along each crease while his knees are bent and his legs are spread slightly. This position will make him feel more vulnerable, magnifying every sensation your mouth makes.
From my personal experience and interactions with many couples, I have discovered that sex and money are the two most important ingredients in marriage. When the two are present, a marriage enjoys unqualified bliss but when any of the two is missing, just one outcome is possible: unending crises. The way and manner rich wives handle money is another reason why many husbands run to call girls just to nurse their ego.
He who pays the piper calls the tune is a very true statement but when the wife is the one paying the piper, she must wisely and subtly call the tune.
Have the best of sex life till next week when I come your way. I am still your loyal bedroom instructor.
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