Many couples, especially the ‘about to wed spouses,’ most times do ask me for the best sex ever. They want to know the best encounter that will be registered in their memories for life. Most of the time, I say the best sexual experience is the one both spouses enjoy the most. However, as it is my habit, I went researching and from what I gathered, the best sexual ‘gbam’ tends to begin with slow and steady movements. Slow soft kisses are the rules of the game. As those kisses get deeper, bodies move closer, minds become more focused and hands start to roam. Even if you have had sex with your spouse hundred times, you can still feel the incredible thrill of slowly progressing to a climax. The benefits are not just that you are bound to feel the wonderful sensation for a little longer than you would during a quickie; you are also more likely to feel enhanced sensual thrills. When couples take their time, they have a chance to pay attention to how they both respond to different touches, kisses, positions, thrust and pleasures. They both have more opportunities to try new things, make small adjustment and build towards a state of heightened arousal that rocks both of them from head to toe. In addition, during slow sex, you are more likely to look each other in the eyes, to communicate what you want, and to tap into more profound emotions. A lengthy sexual encounter is like a well prepared intercontinental, African, Chinese or village local meal. It is not just about satisfying your hunger; it is about enjoying every single, delicious mouthful.
Husbands, please don’t squeeze your wife’s breast like tissue paper or handkerchief but feel her erect nipples one at a time, as your fingertips circle each one over her blouse or night dress with the bra off. A little kiss on her panties can provide a provocative preview of things to come later on. Wife, the aroma of a hygienic, sparkling, fresh, dirt-free, vagina fluid is one of the erotic sexual tip offs for many husbands. So keep your vagina inviting, captivating, appealing, tempting and enticing always. Husbands should treat their wives to the most classic romantic move. You can just sweep them off their feet and carry them to bed. Hundred per cent of wives are dying for this move. The last time many husbands swept their wives off their feet was on the wedding day when they were posing for the wedding picture. You all will agree with me that another sweeping off the feet is long overdue. Wife, a romantic, well-perfumed light wear can inspire a slower-paced response from a man than something tight, rough, unattractive, old and smelly.
It is characteristic of African couples to rush through sex, but when spouses are in the mood to savour sex, start with soft kisses and caresses, letting your lips and hands glide at first, and then slowly add more pressure. These first small moves set a precedent for your spouse to follow, they let him or her know that you are in the mood to let every sensation linger. Starting in first gear does not mean you have to kick off the night with a mouth-to-mouth kiss with un-brushed mouth. Many times, a typical wife’s ‘sex engine’ has ‘knocked’ few months into the marriage, the car packed on a hilly side with the hand break pulled to neutral just because the husband rushes through sex all the time. Husband, I want you to know that it is not where you direct your attention to first that sets the mood for leisurely loving; it is how. You can start caressing below the waist and still inspire a long, romantic sex with soft kisses, light touches and gentle licks. In addition, the more time spent caressing each other over your clothes, the more you will both anticipate the fabulous sensation of skin against skin. A rush in rush out sex is another major stress-prone factor, please slow down and calm down! Slow and steady sex is a healthy, curative, therapeutic and romantic love spa. It helps increase the general body immune system to combat germs and virus that kills.
Savour every spot, peel off and do not irritably tear off your wife’s clothing piece by piece. Notice each freckle and curve as it is uncovered, then kiss or stroke it. When either of the spouses is still partially dressed and the other is naked, the result can be extremely racy. Keep all or a few pieces of clothing on after stripping your spouse to let them know that, for the moment, their bare erogenous zones are the sole focus of your attention and if you need to pass any constructive positive comment for a healthier better shape, be very careful and cautious about your utterances. The comments and reactions of our spouses go a long way to enhance and boost or inhibit, hinder, hamper and hold back our sexual performances.
One thing that is crystal-clear is that there will be an intense connection. In a long-term marriage relationship, it is very easy to fall into an eye-closed routine sex in which first thing happens, and then couples stop talking, stop looking into each other’s eyes and you both just engage in a physical sex. At this point, sex is as intimate as a wrestling match and that can be passionless, unsatisfying, boring because you feel that you are just going through the motions. You can prevent this from happening by taking minutes to be still, looking your spouse in the eye, kissing those eyes carefully, stroking their hair, complimenting them, and reaffirming your love for each other. Even when your wife is bore headed, take control of the action while still being gentle by cradling her head in your hands, caress the head and tell her you knew she lost them all the while in your house and you are ready to help her regain them back. When you begin to touch each other, again things will feel different, more intense and fulfilling.
Wife, while in missionary position and thrusting in and out is going on, wrap your arms and legs around your husband’s body and pull him closer to you for deep penetration. Don’t just lay still, match the rhythm of each thrust so that your bodies move together. Holding hands during sex is surprisingly intimate and loving. Then grasping your spouse’s hands is also a romantic way for you to provide added support and balance when he or she is moving up and down on top of you. Alternate this position to wife on top, and if husband gets the moves right, it is guaranteed to take your wife’s breath away. Encourage her to straddle you on the edge of the bed and give her neck and breasts plenty of loving attention as she moves on top of you. You can also lift her by placing your hands under her thighs, slowly turn her around, and lay her back on the bed. If you are good at multitasking, kiss her continually and as you do this, just push your longest finger into the tip of the vagina and manually do a thrusting in and out with it while you place the thumb on her clitoris and rub it vertically. I tell you, you can’t beat this under the sheets cruising. Do you want to try this out? Please do and I can’t wait to hear from you.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
If I have good morning erection, am I free from sexual health challenges?
My friend once told me that if or whenever one wakes up with an erection, it means the person is free from every penis and erection problem; in short every sexual health challenges in men. Please, how far is this true?
Mr Solomon Okehu
Hmm, this is far from true because some men with weak erection, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction still get erections when they sleep and even when they wake up. This is not because they do not have sexual health challenge but because it is usually a sign that their weak erection, premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction is caused by stress, anxiety of performance, or some prevailing situation that they can’t fix on time. If you don’t have night-time erections, that usually means such person’s erectile dysfunction has a physical cause. Anytime a man has problem getting or keeping an erection on few occasions should not be considered as a sexual or erectile health challenge. As a matter of fact, being tired, stressed, having problems with one’s wife, or drinking too much can make it tough to get an erection and it’s normal for that to happen once in a while. However men with diabetes have a higher risk of ED because diabetes can damage blood vessels and nerves, which can cause erectile dysfunction and other problems. Men who have diabetes are two to three times more likely to have sexual health challenges than men who don’t.
We’ve lost our sex drives
Since having our two children, my husband and I have lost our sex drives and have mutually agreed sex is no longer important. Is there anything wrong with this?
Stella Adunmgbo
If you are both being honest, I see nothing wrong with your chastity agreement. Keep your options open, however, since sexual interest varies throughout seasons of life.
Having children can certainly impact your sexual interests. The fatigue alone could ruin your romance. Worries of having another baby or being unable to support your family’s needs may also contribute. If there are underlying conflicts about your sexual intimacy, investigate those.
My major concern is that sexual intimacy and physical pleasure are a significant part of human needs. Denying their expression may cause either or both of you to become susceptible to outside sexual attractions. Keep a close watch on your hearts and model physical affection for your children. Good family planning will also help.
He hates the messiness of sex
Every time we finish making love, my husband wants to clean up immediately. I would rather celebrate in the passion and romance, and lie in each other’s arms. What should I do?
Mrs Ribena Robin
It is remarkable how intense the discomfort with sexual fluids can be for some people. At times, the response can create actual nausea.
If your frustration with his immediate departure creates a serious block for you, I would recommend you start getting used to that fact; it is a part of your husband you may not be able to change right away. Accept him as he is and as time goes on, it would not bother you any longer. It is also important for him to understand your desire for those romantic moments of cuddling. There may be other adjustments that could help (e.g., use of a condom or making a towel available).
By Funmi Akingbade
No comments:
Post a Comment