One of the great things that accompany Christmas and the
New Year season is the pleasure it brings along. And how else can a married
couple enjoy memorable pleasure than having sex as hot as possible? So today,
let us see how far you should be hot for each other, it is actually as simple
as ABC.
One: When
sex is on the agenda, the greatest mistake any husband would make is not to
take advantage of the situation and really go down on the wife’s nipples,
clitoris and vagina very carefully. Nipple, clitoral and vaginal stimulation
can be the high point of foreplay for any wife, anytime. It can even be the
main ‘event’ of the night or an erotic act that a couple return to frequently
during a long sexual encounter.
Two: Manual stimulation is incredibly important for wives to have an orgasm.
Most wives need a little more nipple, clitoral and vaginal contact than
intercourse. Warm wet and intimate stimulation can be just as fun and
satisfying as full intercourse.
Three: Actually, 87 per cent of wives prefer nipple, clitoral
and vaginal caressing to all other forms of foreplay.
Four: Many wives fantasise about lying back and having their
husbands go down on them, but many cannot express it. Moreover, if you want to
sexually pamper your wife or want her to be consumed literally with enticing
sexual feelings, try this out this Yuletide.
Five: Do more than playing with the nipples,
vagina and the clitoris; you can actually feast on them. There is something
about a husband feasting his eyes, hands and mouth on his wife’s nipples,
clitoris and vagina that can translate the couple into another world of
ecstasy, bliss and elation.
Six: The sensation of the tongue on the nipples, clitoris and
vagina, is usually enough to make couples hyperactive with pleasure. However,
according to research, many husbands do not lick the right places well or
sometimes; they do not stay long enough to make their wives climax.
Seven: During sex, reach down and rub your wife’s clitoris
whenever possible and you are guaranteed that her chances of having orgasm will
be increased. For many wives, manual stimulation of these areas is the only way
they can climax. Rubbing the nipples, vagina and the clitoris the right way is
not something husbands just naturally know how to do; it is something they have
to learn. When a wife’s vagina is not yet lubricated, ‘never’ try to insert a
finger or penis into it; that is ‘pure legal raping’.
Eight: Studies have shown that husbands staring at their
wives’ breasts for 10 minutes a day can improve their total well-being.
Nine: The human lips, tongues and genitals are the most
sensitive areas of their bodies.
Ten: The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
Eleven: The tip of the clitoris has 700 nerve endings, more
than what is found on the head of the penis.
Twelve: The most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina is the
first two inches; that is where the majority of the nerves endings are located.
Thirteen: A woman’s skin is 10 times more sensitive to touch
than a man’s own.
Fourteen: During arousal, increased blood flow causes a
woman’s breasts to swell by 25 per cent; and when stimulated, the vagina
expands six inches wider.
Fifteen: As a wife is turned on, blood rushes to her vulva,
causing the vagina to release a smooth liquid called ‘drops of Jupiter’. The
average duration of a female orgasm is six seconds. The Japanese word for
orgasm translates as, ‘I have died and gone to heaven’. Now carefully
stimulating your wife’s nipples, clitoris and vagina can make her also utter
this statement.
Sixteen: One step at a time is the best secret code; so while
together, have your hands under her then stroke her clitoris through her
panties to build the anticipation of feeling your fingers against her wet
skin. Even if you have seen your wife’s nakedness a thousand times, don’t
rush to take off her panties every time.
Seventeen: Take the action to the next level by sliding your
hand under her panties. Don’t just rub the nub but start kissing your wife’s
knee up to her inner thigh or from her navel down to her clitoris, then
directly to her labia, and then find your way to her nipples.
Eighteen: A wife’s inner thigh is very sensitive. Incredibly,
some wives can even have orgasm just by their feet being messaged. Starting
your journey to the clitoris by kissing her thighs is still the best. This
gives your wife intense pleasure and builds her anticipation for the trill to
come. Ask her to hold her legs up and out of the way; this allows you better
access to the vagina.
Nineteen: If you want to hear whether she is moaning with
pleasure, ask her not to sandwich your ears with her thighs, you will be amazed
with the varieties of ‘melodic rhythms’ coming your way! Pay close attention to
the moaning and make sure she is not moaning because she is in pain.
Twenty: As you listen to her moans of pleasure, keep
stimulating the clitoris and the surrounding areas with all your four fingers.
Apply light to firm pressure using an up-and-down motion, slowly circling the
area. All this provides wonderful sensation and are helpful in bringing your
wife to climax.
Twenty-one: You can vary the pressure and speed,
depending on what she likes best. While on her clitoris, plant several little
kisses (on it) and flip your tongue directly around it. On the other hand, you
can simultaneously insert your finger into her vagina and caress it as the
clitoral kissing is going on, by using the thumb to drive her wild and the
other hand to rub her pubic heap.
Twenty-two: Husband, use the tip of your tongue to brush,
tap, or flip the clitoris in an up-and-down and/or side-to-side motion. Try it
slowly, then quickly, and even more quickly. The tap can be light or
firm.
Questions and answers
My husband’s sexual desire
is low
My husband and I have been married for three years. He is 42
and I am about to turn 31. Few months into our marriage, he was very
affectionate and loving and we had sex quite regularly. Then it reduced to
twice a week, then once a week. Now, it is once in three or more weeks and
there is little affection in our relationship. I try to be playful and initiate
sex, but it usually ends with my husband giving an excuse (such as being too
tired or having too much work to do) and me feeling embarrassed and
unattractive.
We have discussed this issue several times and he says that
he is very much attracted to me but that it is hard for him to get in the mood
because of all the stress from work. He has also told me a few times that he
feels that I pressure him for sex so much.
It is still difficult for me to imagine a husband feeling
pressured to have sex with his wife. What I also don’t understand is if he’s
attracted to me as much as he says he is, wouldn’t having sex help alleviate
some of that stress he’s feeling?
When we do have sex, it seems like as soon as I am “ready”,
he wants to have sex instead of enjoying the foreplay for a bit longer. It
makes me feel like he just wants to get it over with. In addition, when we have
sex, he usually wants reverse cowgirl or to be behind me instead of a more
affectionate position where we can kiss and make eye contact, which is
important to me.
We used to be affectionate but now, I get a pat on the back
in the morning when we leave for work and maybe a hug. If I try to be
affectionate (not to initiate sex, but really just to make out), he might give
me a few kisses back but it does not feel like he is into it and he usually
manoeuvres me into a cuddling position and falls asleep.
After he told me he felt like I pressured him to have sex, I
did my best to back off. The point is that I want some sort of affection. Is it
wrong to want affection? I would really like some advice from you. I want to
make him happy but I want to be happy too. I hate feeling as if I am a sort of
abandoned project, as if I am not attractive enough for him.
Joyce, Badagry
It seems as if he has a
low sex drive. From your letter, it looks like you have succumbed to the fact
that you are not going to have any active sex life again. It is in the best
interest of the marriage for you to express to him that having a strong sexual
relationship is important to you and that if he is unable to meet your needs,
he should at least meet you halfway. Besides, he is your man. Study him, read
him like a book, pamper him like a kid, comfort him like a mother, and get to
know how you can win him to your side. I am quite certain you have all it takes
to do that. Also, look for his areas of interest and be genuinely interested;
this will endear him to you. I know several couples who have been in this
situation and 99 per cent of the time, it ended up sweet.
No sign of blood to show
she was deflowered
I have been married for close to seven weeks and my wife and
I were virgins, but up till now, I have not been able to deflower her. I have
tried so hard, but it looks like whenever I penetrate, there is no more depth
to go. Moreover, I discovered that whenever it seems as if I have managed to
penetrate satisfactorily enough and have released, immediately she gets up, all
the sperm pours out of her again in large quantity. The amazing part of it is
that we have not seen any trace of blood since we started having sex. Honestly,
we are getting worried. What can we do?
Peter Eduloye, Oyo
Your complaint is typical of
inexperienced newlyweds and it is expected. Firstly, it is not all virgins that
may bleed while breaking their hymen. The hymen, which is a thin but tough
membrane found at the entrance of the vagina, may be absent at birth or may be
lost during vigorous physical sporting activities. This may explain why you are
not seeing blood. Though, the initial breaking of the hymen during sexual
intercourse may bleed slightly because of damage to the membrane, this may not
be so in some cases because of its classification. There are three types of
hymen, the very fragile hymen (which breaks easily few years into puberty); the
regular hymen (which breaks at young adult stage); and the tough hymen (which
takes months or even years to break, especially when the lady is 25 years and
above). If you relax, practise more of foreplay and try to calm down a bit; you
will in no time deflower her. The reason why sperm still pours out of her may
simply be because she is still tight, which is also typical of a vagina that
was not sexually active prior to this time. As times goes on, things will fall
into place.
I only enter his bedroom
whenever he needs sex
The only time I enter my husband’s bedroom is when he needs
sex, any other time, he shuts his door against me. He said that is the
tradition in their family and that he is more productive sleeping alone. There
have been occasions when the children fell ill in the middle of the night; he
only came out of his room, insisting we nursed the child in my room and not
his. Curiosity had made me break into the room when he was away but I did not
find anything unusual; his slogan is ‘stay in your room, I don’t share a room
with a woman’. But I am not just a woman; I’m his wife. This has made me to
deny him sex, am I doing the right thing?
Maureen Paul
Ideally, couples should share
everything together, including the bedroom. Secluded privacy is not actually
for married people. Spontaneous sex, which is still rated as the best sex,
happens more often among couples that share same bedroom and mattress. Besides,
some crucial marital issues may be best discussed and solved at night. Separate
rooms will not help make this happen. It is also easier for couples to
reconcile their differences while sleeping together in the same bedroom than
while sleeping in separate bedrooms. But nevertheless, some people may be
more productive, experience quality rest and get more privacy with separate
rooms. I still think it is best to discuss this.
I am helpless
I have almost given up on my
premature ejaculation problem. My first wife fled with my children on some
spurious and unfounded excuses. But ostensibly, it was because of this nagging
ailment. I have done all that is physically, spiritually and medically possible
in the quest for a solution to the problem, but I have failed woefully. This
has not deterred me though because I know that God‘s care and mercy extend
beyond any imaginable limits. I believe your advice and counsel in this area
can help me. You have certainly started a medium that would free millions of
people from their fears and helplessness as regards marital sexual fulfilment.
I am a helpless man in this area.
Helpless man
I would love to say that you
are not helpless because you have not extensively exhausted all medical
solutions. This is because there are always new discoveries every day that may
help you out. Researchers are of the opinion that they would likely come up
with varieties of solutions. Besides, there is nothing greater than God. To
contribute my quota, I would love you to try some of these natural herbs and
exercises and I am sure they will be of help to you. Medicine is taking a giant
stride as regards these cases.
Funmi Akingbade
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