Today, I want to assist couples how to unleash their spouse into attaining the best sexual response cycle. The sexual health technique refers to the process and sequence of physical and emotional changes that occur as a spouse becomes sexually aroused and participates in sexually stimulating activities, which include intercourse. Knowing how your body and your spouse’s body respond during each phase of the cycle enhances the relationship and helps married couples to pinpoint the cause of any sexual problem.
When it comes to sexual health technique, I always encourage couples to make sure they put the interests of their partner first. When you prioritise the satisfaction of your partner, sex between couples becomes healthy and age defiling. Amazingly if you compare the physical look of a married spouse who is sexually satisfied with a married spouse who is not sexually satisfied and also with a single lady of the same age group, you will discover that the sexually satisfied spouse will look much younger than her counterpart who is not sexually satisfied and her unmarried single lady who has not been sexually active.
So, I will appreciate if couples get familiar with this response cycle. They are actually divided into four phases; excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Both men and women experience these phases, although the timing usually is different. For example, it is unlikely that both married couples will reach orgasm at the same time. In addition, the intensity of the response and the time spent in each phase varies from person to person. Understanding these differences would definitely help spouses better understand one another’s bodies and responses, and enhance the sexual experience.
Phase 1 Excitement: general characteristics of the excitement phase, which can last from a few minutes to several hours, include the following: muscle tension increases, heart rate quickens and breathing is accelerated. Skin may become flushed (blotches of redness appear on the chest and back). Nipples become hardened or erect, blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in swelling of the woman’s clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and erection of the man’s penis, vaginal lubrication begins, the woman’s breasts become fuller and the vaginal walls begin to swell, the man’s testicles swell, his scrotum tightens, and he begins secreting a lubricating liquid. This does not just occur if some steps are not taken. For instance, couples can learn to give good sexual speech, sex through whispering, phone calls and text messages. Did you know that with a single sexual and sensual call, you can get your spouse so aroused at his or her desk and he or she will be counting minutes just to get to you?
Hello, now, before you make that call, pick your tone: flirty, seductive, romantic, macho, dominator. When he or she answers, stay silent for a few seconds. Then, in your sexiest voice, describe how you would like him or her to kiss you, touch and undress you. Then take him or her through the finer details of how you are going to give him or her, the most amazing oral sex ever. Non-verbal communication is a good element to spark up the best sexual response cycle in our partner. You can groan and moan, but you can also breathe, stay silent and then repeat such. By the time you hang up, you’ll have your spouse so hot, his or her main problem will be hiding the fast breathing, and erected penis from colleagues as he or she sneaks away from his or her desk with a head full of sexual thoughts, treats and escapade for the night.
Put to use the power of the smooching; this speeds up the response cycle. While you are smooching, try kissing around the edges of the lips, then run the tip of your tongue to open them. The longer you can delay before inserting your tongue, the more sensual it will be. Lift your spouse’s face and teasingly kiss him or her around the chin and jaw, moving down to the sensitive areas of the neck and throat. Then extend your passion to a tongue bath: where you cover every inch of your spouse’s body with kisses.
Phase 2 Plateau: general characteristics of the plateau phase extend to the brink of orgasm or climaxing, which include the following; the changes begun in phase 1 are intensified, the vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and the vaginal walls turn darker in dark women and purple dark in fair-complexioned women. The woman’s clitoris becomes highly sensitive (sometime may even be painful to touch) and retracts under the clitoral hood to avoid direct stimulation from the penis. The man’s testicles are drawn up into the scrotum. Breathing: heart rate and blood pressure continue to increase. Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands. Muscle tension increases. Believe you me, this stage can also be ignited if couples become more creative such as giving each other deep caressing even with the clothes on. This can deliver some certain sexual thrill. Spouses can simulate themselves with all the moves you would perform if both of you were nude, but make up your mind to stop yourself from shedding your clothes. Then when you both notice you have got to the stage of no return, pull off your clothes and slid into this stage of sexual response cycle.
Phase 3: Orgasm stage; this is the climax of the sexual response cycle. It is the shortest of the phases and generally lasts only a few seconds. General characteristics of this phase include the following: involuntary muscle contractions begin; blood pressure, heart rate and breathing are at their highest rates, with a rapid intake of oxygen, muscles in the feet spasm, there is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension, in women, the muscles of the vagina contract. The uterus also undergoes rhythmic contractions, in men, rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of the penis results in the ejaculation of semen, a rash or goose pimple or sex flush may appear over the entire body. Two basic things accelerate this stage, careful clitoral stimulation and excellent high quality thrusting in and out.
Phase 4: resolution or the after play experience or often-called ‘aftercare.’ During resolution, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning and swelled and erect body parts return to their previous size and colour. This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, sometimes, fatigue. Some wives are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms. However, many husbands need recovery time after orgasm, called a refractory period, during which they cannot reach orgasm again. The duration of the refractory period varies among men and usually lengthens with advancing age. This is actually not the same thing as inability to go for the second or third round of sex though but a stage or recuperation which more often than not corrects itself within a short period. Women take longer to relax and recoup after orgasm; this is the best time for reassuring communication, and comforting cuddling. Few sweet caresses and gentle cuddling can be enough to wrap up a full of life sexual encounter. So, husbands, do not leave your wives hanging.
From research, the fear of pregnancy most time prevents some couples from experiencing this sexual response cycle and they are not very comfortable with many available family planning methods. Condom can still do the trick. Condoms, when used properly, are very effective in preventing unintended pregnancies. Please use only water-based lubricants. Oil- lubricant based such as Vaseline will weaken the condom and cause it to break. You can contact me for some of these lubricants. To prevent overflow of semen after sex, husband should withdraw from his wife immediately, holding onto the base of the condom. This will prevent the condom from slipping off and possibly leaking inside his wife’s uterus. Now when a husband is well knowledgeable about these sexual skills, the issue of ‘Eda’ most couples complain of will become a thing of the past. This ‘Eda’ is actually the uncomfortable process whereby the sperm flows out of the wife’s vagina immediately the husband withdraws his penis after ejaculation. All things being equal, this should not be at all.
Until I come your way again, this is your bedroom instructor. Wishing you a sexy and sweet weekend.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
This has prevented me from marriage
Funmi, I can boldly say I am a fine man; got a lot of things working for me and I get what I want when I want it. I am the type of guy that is always in charge of situation but one place I shamefully and disgracefully lost face is in the area of premature ejaculation. It humiliates me always and I am fed up. What can I do to save my face from this unending shame? As a matter of fact, this has prevented me from marriage and I have lost potential wives to be. The moment they ask for sex and I try to do my best and they easily discover that I am less than a man, they take off fast. No lady is even willing to help me out!
Mr. Sukulimaki Ejirota
Men who suffer from premature ejaculation are often afraid of being sexually involved. Fear of rejection keeps many from initiating sexual contact at all. While any kind of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation could be a sign of a medical problem, some men have just learned a quick ejaculatory response. Until you experience an ejaculation that always occurs within one minute or less of penetration, or inability to delay orgasm during vaginal penetration, or experience of negative personal consequences from the experience of early ejaculation, you may not be a victim. A normal time of sperm release is between eight – 15 minutes and this does not include foreplay. The key to making a sexual experience last longer when penetration puts you over the edge is to spend even more time on foreplay! Turn your attention to your wife’s pleasure and make sure she comes at least once before intercourse even begins. Keep her moving and changing her position by suggesting different configurations of hand, finger, mouth and tongue movement. PE will be a lot less stressful for her if you show a dedication to her orgasm. As an advocate of cure kindly, contact me for help, because according to research, men are three times more likely to suffer from premature ejaculation, at least, 40 to 60 per cent of all men, especially in underdeveloped countries like ours.
More money more sex
Funmi, you seem not to realise that good sex comes with good money. Today’s wives will only offer you sex for real good money. They are all the same, both the ones you are dating and the ones in your house; all they advocate for is more money. I think if I can make more money, I will enjoy my wife more.
Mr. Elekode Hassan
Money is good to have and of course, it provides the things of life easily but you will be surprised to know that marital sex between two married lovers gives you more of happiness than money will. If your bedroom has more healthy activity than your bank accounts, you will soon and still experience healthy sex, new ideas to make more money and healthy happy home. This is not to say that being financially poor is okay but healthy good sexual activities are the secret to a happy married life. Despite popular opinion and common theory, more money does not get you more sex, but getting married to a God-given spouse. Such spouse would not place unnecessary financial demands on you. In addition, it has been discovered that sex seems to have a greater effect on happiness levels in intellectual, well-empowered wives than with those with lower educational status. It has also been discovered that uneducated or illiterate spouses commit and indulge more in adultery than educated or literate spouses do. This is because an educated individual places more value on her reputation, priorities in life and still possesses a level of self-principle and control. They reason more on what they will lose over one night stand than the poor individual who trades sex for money to survive. So assist in getting your wife empowered and educated. More money does not mean more sex, but more sex can make you feel richer and help you get good ideas for more money. That is the power of orgasm. The very moment a man relaxes after orgasm, he thinks better, reasons clearly and soars higher in his mind over life challenges; same goes on in the sexual system of a woman.
Threatening life decision
Thanks for all your contributions in our married life. I wish I had known you for years even before I got married. Please ma, my case is private. I am an average old man of 54 years and my wife is 44 years old. I have a very serious challenge in our marital life for the past 18 years. My wife is to undergo a major operation that would involve removal of her fallopian tubes and womb. This is to save her from complicated fibroid and ovarian cyst, which her doctor explained is very risky. If they try cutting the fibroid off one after the other, there would still be several tiny ones remaining. The safest thing to do is totally remove her womb being that she has been operated twice before because of ectopic pregnancy.
We already have a child of 19 years. Now my question is this, wouldn’t she henceforth feel less sexy because our love is always at the peak when she is ovulating. Within those about 12 days, she would make sure she cooks the best of food for me and take special care of me so that I would be happy to give love back. I do not believe in going out since we got married and not even to think of talking of a second wife. Is there any other way I can get her wet again and feel sexy even if not frequently as before. Kindly advise me on how to manage this pathetic situation.
Mr Snowhite Pigold
There is definitely no cause for alarm at all, because there are many other areas in your wive’s body that can help her to be sexually stimulated, excited, provoked and aroused aside from her ovulation period. Such as her breasts, nipples, clitoris, vulva and lips. All you need do is extend the duration of your foreplay and intensify it. In any case, even if your wife did not undertake any surgery, she will definitely go through a menopausal period, which will also affect her ovulation progression. It is human for you to think like that, we are all human but at the same time, pray for her speedy recovery and have a wonderful time together.
By Funmi Akingbade
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