Adequate, relevant and up to date information, they say, is the best life saver and best friend. Last week, we started the series on sexual health and today, by the special grace of God, we shall be rounding off our discussion on it.
The issue of low or inadequate testosterone is one area both husband and wife should be knowledgeable about. Many signs of low or inadequate testosterone have been mistaken for heart problems or fever problems or sometimes typhoid problems.
In many men, low testosterone can alter some typical masculine features and these men may start experiencing painful breasts or breast enlargement or rapid loss of body hair. Also, they start noticing shrinkage in their testicles and in most cases, it may be difficult for them to get or keep an erection. In fact, hot flashes are most often seen in men who have very low testosterone. Many men believe that testosterone only relates to sex, no. It also helps to build bone in men and when it is in low supply, it may lead to frail bones and osteoporosis. Testosterone may also help keep muscles strong. It helps produce red blood cells, boosts mood, and aids thinking. Low testosterone may cause anaemia, depression and trouble concentrating.
I always suggest that when men approach the age of 40, it is just wise to go for random check-ups because one of the life threatening dangers of low testosterone is that men with low testosterone don’t have symptoms. Only a blood test can tell what your testosterone levels are. When a boy starts to get a beard and pubic hair, testosterone has fully manifested. It affects hair growth in men. Addictive consumption of processed substances such as alcohol, smoking, some steroid medications and extreme processed foods can lower testosterone. Sadly, alcohol is directly toxic to the testicles, especially during the production of testosterone and it seems to affect the release of other hormones related to men’s sexual function and fertility. Shrunken testicles are a common sign of low testosterone in alcoholic men with liver disease, as well as lower libido and sexual potency. Enlarged breasts are common in heavy drinkers because alcohol sometimes may help convert testosterone into the female hormone, oestrogen.
When it comes to sexuality, many couples blame sexual dis-satisfaction on many things but the real one. One thing is certain; and that is when the purpose of a thing is not known or discovered, abuse is inevitable. Many married couples mix libidoral challenge with sexual challenges and emotional challenges. We will do our best to help find solutions to these. Firstly I need every couple out there to know that faulty gender libidoral expression, sexual health challenges such as premature ejaculation, weak erection, erectile dysfunction, frigidity both in husband and wife and animalistic expressions of sexual desires and need are all interwoven; so therefore we can actually use almost same method to cure them all. So relax and read attentively.
To prevent many mistakes, bear it in mind that sexual satisfactions should not be solely directed to an individual alone in the relationship. You first satisfy your spouse before thinking of your own satisfaction. This means you have to be really present during the act; you have to pay passionate attention to your spouse. In the moments of lovemaking, there is nothing more important than your eyes, your lips, and theirs. The best love happens when the world falls away and you are the only two beings that matter. And when the world really does fall away, you’ll be one being, delighting in each other’s bodies, minds, and souls. This should not be the moment when the wife will remember the food on her gas cooker or the cry of the baby or the downpour of rain while her clothes are on the cloth line. Monotony of these actions and attitude over the years kill libido and accelerate premature ejaculation.
Sexuality mistake also comes when couples do not deliberately find a good place for sex; passion has its place; a place that’s clean and uncluttered, not the mattress that is filled with the urine of the baby or room cluttered with the head ties, dresses and make up gadgets of the wife. The sheets are fresh; do not reserve new bedspread for visitors only. Pamper yourself and your spouse with the luxury of the new bed spread. The pillows are plump. The laundry is out of sight. The music is pleasant. Or spicy. Or slow. Or hot. There are fresh flowers or well-tended plants that can spice your room. Sex can take place in your bedroom, where the door is locked, so your hearts can open. But don’t limit your place of passion to the bedroom. Erotic passion can take place in the living room, the kitchen, the pantry, the backyard, the pent house, the grazing land, the beach–wherever you and your lover connect and privacy is hyped.
Many couples [especially some husbands] believe that it is when they do some out of this space action that they can rectify their libidoral mistakes or sexual health blunders, but do you know that novelty is actually an aphrodisiac? Passion ignites when the mind is curious. The excitement of the new has been proven from ages to always challenge the old and leads to new pathways of ecstasy. When your sexual script gets tired and desire fades, trying new ways to delight each other can amplify your appetite and your spouse’s. Simple changes can be stimulating too. Try a new room, a new fragrance, a new technique. Or try a new touch, a new kiss, a new endearment, or a new dirty talk such as the use of local language to describe the sexual organ of your spouse while having foreplay. But oddly, this is the time and moment many married husbands start having extra marital affair, thinking their wives were actually the cause of either their premature ejaculation, weak erection, quick ejaculation, inability to go for many rounds, erectile dysfunction, lack of libido and even impotency. The truth of the matter is familiarity actually breeds contempt. When and if you are so conversant, acquainted, accustomed and familiar with the same woman sexually, display libidoral expression, sexual and erotic fantasisies over some period of years, the possibility of you being able to easily interpret, decipher and decode all her sexual moves and even surprises is very high. And simply because of this, many husbands start off with extramarital escapades but if you give such new sexual relationship some few years, you also experience the same sexual dissatisfaction you had with the first woman. In other words, extra marital affairs mistake does not enhance good sexual performance nor keep good libido.
Another mistake couples make is using sickly tool to want to run a marathon. Many of our vaginas are sick. High percentage of the penises is quarter to pack up, while the prostrate is clamouring for survival. To experience best of sex, you must be healthy. Strength, stamina and flexibility, all enhance the passionate experience. Steadily work towards boosting each. You’d be amazed what simply losing five per cent of your body weight will do for all of these. If you also take conscious effort to alkalinize your body system and take less of acidified and synthetic meals, you’ll have more energy for lovemaking. And if a wife takes time out to firm her vagina and works on her clitoris and the same time use good natural supplement, you’ll feel better about your body. Many prostrate problems like inflammation of the prostrate, cancer of the prostrate can really be handled by simply eating raw tomatoes and beetroot fruit on a daily basis while eating blended onions, egg, small raw pap, local banana, apple and milk and two cloves of garlic and ginger once in two weeks will rectify penis tissue abnormalities, especially it will prevent premature ejaculation. And the consumption of unripe plantain and cucumber with bitter kola will take care of weak erection with early stage of impotency. It is very important to recognise that there is a connection between diet and sex. Make eating fresh, healthy foods a passion and discover new depths to your enjoyment. And also bear it in mind that food eating by people who love healthy sex must be 80 per cent raw and 20 per cent cooked.
Couples do not give priority to hygiene. Never be too lazy to get up and brush your teeth. Shave, shower, brush the teeth, use fragrance sparingly, watch out for little sharp things like fingernails. Be smooth. Be touchable. On the other hand, don’t become obsessed with your appearance; that’s generally unattractive. Just notice anything that might take away from someone enjoying your body, and take care of it. Don’t let the trap of culture seal your lips; be flirtatious, say sexy, funny little things. Like so many things that give rise to passion, that will make your husband get instant erection and your wife’s vagina starts vibrating for a penis to enter fully. These gestures make erotic lovemaking starts long before you end up in the bedroom.
Saying something that only your partner would understand, placing your hand in an unexpected spot on your partner’s body, you can go as far as carefully putting your clean hands on his penis and start caressing it, or you the husband can trickily dip your fingers inside the panties of your wife, place one of the fingers on the clitoris while the two or three others inside the tip of the vagina and start thrusting in and out with the fingers while looking into her eyes with fire that can easily signal your desire such as ‘I am hot’. Everyone loves to be wanted. Flirting lets your spouse know just how much you want them.
To be continued
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
Alcohol and erection
I see many people drink alcohol and they are still fine sexually. I really don’t want to buy that crap and lies that alcohol is the reason for my poor erection. Although I have been having issues with my ejaculation for three years now, a friend talked me into taking alcohol insisting that it helped in his inability to perform sexually. Initially, it helped; I could go for five rounds and still wanting more but now, the reverse is the case. I can barely sustain erection. The point is I try to reduce my alcohol consumption. Please, do you think it is alcohol that is disturbing my erection? Honest reply please.
Mr. Michela olokolale
I would say yes with authority. I think you got deceived because you think everybody is alike, no. Our genes differ and that is why your friend’s issue with alcohol and erection has not gone bad. But I can assure you that it will be sooner or later. But alcohol has only one assignment: destruction of our system. Alcohol never makes you sober; you can’t be sober-minded if you are not sober. It is a depressant; anything that depresses should be avoided at all cost. It leaves you worst not better, what you do in moderation, your children will do it in excess. Show me a family where alcohol has made a positive difference in their lives and health, you will not find one. Alcohol does not allow you to have self-control; it is a mind altering legal drug and the simplest drug is a silent poison. Alcohol is addictive. It is a numbing agent for pain and sorrow that only God can heal. Many regrets are associated with alcohol. Alcohol makes us to act in ways we normally would not have. Alcohol kills the brain cells, destroys the nerves and tissue of the penis. It is provided for false peace. It is a money, time and destiny waster. It leads to all bad behaviours. Alcohol makes you behave stupidly; it has ruined many marriages. If you do not want your teenager to start drinking, do not show them how. Alcohol lowers the ability to resist evil. Alcohol fills our mind with impure thoughts. Instead, drink water or water melon, fruits with egg white every night, it will restore your potency. Drinking two glasses of water in the morning helps activate the internal organs. Drinking one glass of water before a meal helps in digestion and weight loss. Drinking one glass of water before bed time helps prevent stroke or heart attack.
No climaxing in spite of high libido
I have never experienced orgasm. I am not circumcised, I love sex, I demand it from my husband more regularly than he asks me. I cannot stay two days without it but I have never experienced orgasm but I like missionary position. Help
Lola Oghoku
Frankly, the missionary position is the position least likely to bring a woman to climax.
But there is a subtle adjustment you can make that can increase your chances of having an orgasm: the Coital Alignment Technique, or CAT. Have your husband move his entire body up about two inches. Your husband’s pubic bone will rest on top of yours so that the base of his penis presses on your clitoris. This position provides continuous stimulation of your clitoris during intercourse, increasing your chances of having an orgasm. Besides, let him concentrate more on your clitoris to the extent that you start breathing fast and panting; this is the starting point of orgasm. Although when it comes to sexual behaviour, no two people are always alike, some women can reach orgasm with any position. A wife who thinks about sex has more orgasm than those who do not.
I need more facts about penis
I am a new bride to be, can you tell me some facts and figure about penis/vagina and their functionality?
Nicole Enjupo
On the lower part of the penis is a V shape tissue that is very sensitive to stimulation. Bigger testicles produce more sperm but not necessarily better quality. On average, the heart beats 70 times per minute but during orgasm, the heart races at 115 beats per minute. It takes 17 muscles to smile and over 100 muscles to have an orgasm. On average, couples spend two weeks of their lives kissing, the record for the longest kiss is 29 hours. In a one minute kiss, you actually burn 26 calories, 80 per cent of husbands are turned on when wives wear sexy lingerie and expose their nipples and clitoris. Women’ skin thins out when they are aroused, most men can maintain an erection for 40 minutes. In the US, the average time for sex is 10; 34pm, but Nigeria has no viable data. A woman’s sex drive is at its peak just before her period. During sex, the testicles retract into the body to protect them from getting knocked around especially during vigorous thrusting in and out and some clumsy movement. Married couples have sex 52 times a year, that is once a week, men experience an average of seven erections in a day five of them when he is asleep. Men’s nipples have the same level of pleasure receptors as women’s nipples, orgasm releases chemicals that curb appetite, so sex helps you lose weight.
The average speed of an ejaculation is 20 mph, husbands find it incredibly sexy when women take the initiative and swing their breast and buttocks, cold shower can increase the production of sex hormone in men and women.
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