The best of anything or everything is best enjoyed when it is done well and done properly. One of the frequent complaints of many married lovers is that their spouses are not orderly or the act of sex is very clumsy and un-interesting. One of my quotes of good sex is usually ‘a place for everything and everything in place.’ Whenever couples give priority to good organography for sexual intercourse, they do not only enjoy lasting sex; they enjoy bounding sex, they enjoy sex till old age, they enjoy the type of sex each party looks out for. So today, I want to assist couples on how to take their spouse into attaining the best sexual responses. The sexual response is actually the natural sequence of physical and emotional changes that occur as a spouse becomes sexually aroused and participates in sexually stimulating activities, which include releasing their minds, bodies and will in total abandonment during sexual act. Knowing how your spouse responds during each phase of the cycle enhances the relationship and helps married couples pinpoint the cause of any sexual challenge.
This sexual order is in four phases- excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Both men and women experience these phases, although the timing usually is different. For example, it is unlikely that both married couples will reach orgasm at the same time. In addition, the intensity of the response and the time spent in each phase varies from person to person. Understanding these differences would definitely help spouses better understand one another’s bodies and responses, and enhance the sexual experience.
Phase 1: excitement: general characteristics of the excitement phase, which can last from a few minutes to several hours, include the following: muscle tension increases, heart rate quickens and breathing is accelerated. Skin may become flushed (blotches of redness appear on the chest and back). Nipples become hardened or erect, blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in swelling of the woman’s clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and erection of the man’s penis, vaginal lubrication begins, the woman’s breasts become fuller and the vaginal walls begin to swell, the man’s testicles swell, his scrotum tightens, and he begins secreting a lubricating liquid. This does not just occur if some steps are not taken. For instance, couples can learn to give good sexual speech through whispering, phone calls and text messages. Do you know that with a single sexual and sensual call, you can get your spouse so aroused at his or her desk and he or she will be counting minutes just to get to you.
Hello, now, before you make that call, pick your tone: flirty, seductive, romantic, macho, dominator. When he or she answers, stay silent for a few seconds. Then, in your sexiest voice, describe how you would like him or her to kiss you, touch and undress you. Then take him or her through the finer details of how you are going to give him or her the most amazing oral sex ever. Non-verbal communication is a good element to spark up the best sexual response cycle in our partner. You can groan and moan, but you can also breathe, stay silent and then repeat such. By the time you hang up, you’ll have your spouse so hot, his or her main problem will be hiding the fast breathing, and erected penis(for men) from colleagues as he or she sneaks away from his or her desk with a head full of sexual thoughts, treats and escapade for the night.
Put to use the power of the smooching. This speeds up the response of the other party. While you are smooching, try kissing around the edges of the lips, then run the tip of your tongue over them. The longer you can delay before inserting your tongue, the more sensual it will be. Lift your spouse’s face and teasingly kiss him or her around the chin and jaw, moving down to the sensitive areas of the neck and throat. Then extend your passion to a tongue bath: where you cover every inch of your spouse’s body with kisses.
Phase 2: plateau: general characteristics of the plateau phase, which extends to the brink of orgasm or climaxing, include the following; the changes begun in phase 1 are intensified, the vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and the vaginal walls turn darker in dark women and purple dark in fair complexioned women. The woman’s clitoris becomes highly sensitive (sometime may even be painful to touch) and retracts under the clitoral hood to avoid direct stimulation from the penis. The man’s testicles are drawn up into the scrotum. Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure continue to increase. Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands. Muscle tension increases. Believe you me, this stage can also be ignited if couples become more creative such as giving each other deep caressing even with the clothes on. This can deliver some certain sexual thrill. Spouses can simulate each other with all the moves they would perform if both of them were nude, but make up your mind to stop yourselves from shedding your clothes. Then when you both notice you have got to the stage of no return, pull off your clothes and slid into this stage of sexual response cycle.
Phase 3: Orgasm stage: this is the climax of the sexual response cycle. It is the shortest of the phases and generally lasts only a few seconds. General characteristics of this phase include the following: involuntary muscle contractions begin; blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing are at their highest rates, with a rapid intake of oxygen; muscles in the feet spasm, there is a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension. In women, the muscles of the vagina contract. The uterus also undergoes rhythmic contractions. In men, rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of the penis result in the ejaculation of semen, a rash or goose pimple or sex flush may appear over the entire body. Two basic things accelerate this stage; careful clitoral stimulation and excellent high quality thrusting in and out.
Phase 4: resolution or the after play experience or often-called ‘aftercare’. During resolution, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning and swelled and erect body parts return to their previous size and colour. This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, sometimes, fatigue. Some wives are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms. However, many husbands need recovery time after orgasm called a refractory period, during which they cannot reach orgasm again. The duration of the refractory period varies among men and usually lengthens with advanced age. This is actually not the same thing as inability to go for the second or third round of sex though but a stage of recuperation which more often than not corrects itself within a short period. Women take longer to relax and recoup after orgasm; this is the best time for reassuring communication and comforting cuddling. Few sweet caresses and gentle cuddling can be enough to wrap up a full life sexual encounter; husbands, do not leave your wife hanging.
From research, the fear of pregnancy most time prevents some couples from experiencing this sexual response cycle and they are not very comfortable with many available family planning methods. Condom can still do the trick. Condoms, when used properly, are very effective in preventing unintended pregnancies. Please, use only water-based lubricant oil- lubricants based such as Vaseline will weaken the condom and cause it to break. You can contact me for some of these lubricants. To prevent overflow of semen after sex, husband should withdraw from his wife immediately, holding onto the base of the condom. This will prevent the condom from slipping off and possibly leaking inside his wife’s uterus. Until I come your way, again this is your bedroom instructor. Wishing you a sexy and sweet weekend.
By Funmi Akingbade
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