For the lover of ‘G’-spot

Is ‘G’-spot a reality or myth? Does it really exist? Why is my wife’s vagina not having a ‘G-spot location?

Recently, I have been receiving several calls, sms and mails about the mystery of ‘G’-spot. So, I thought it would be nice to revisit it for the lovers of this mysterious spot. In this article we would unravel the myth for the benefit of our readers. For many married couples, when the honeymoon is over, sex becomes a boring routine. At such times, the urge to make love often gives way to the tendency to view sex as just a marital commitment. The reason is that most couples make the error of assuming that lovemaking can be exciting and enjoyable only at the initial stage of their relationship.

The truth is that to keep up the excitement in their sex lives, married couples will have to go out of their way to discover new methods to spice it up. For every couple that has been together for some time and has gone the extra mile to try out a variety of sexually stimulating experiences, lovemaking is guaranteed to become more thrilling and adventurous than it used to be at the early stage of marriage. One of the ways to achieve this is through the stimulation of the ‘G’ spot. And from the countless of questions flowing in, many couples still do not know the technicality of the instrument of this ‘G’- spot.

Originally named after the German gynaecologist, Ernst Grafenberg, who first described it in 1944 and theorised its existence, this ‘sacred spot’ has engaged the attention of sex scientists for more than a thousand years. Grafenberg described it as an erotic zone on the anterior wall of the vagina that ‘swells out greatly at the end of orgasm.’

The G-spot can be found on the front wall of the vagina. It is made of erectile tissues and often enlarges when stimulated. If properly stimulated, it can cause women to experience high levels of sexual arousal and then, reach a powerful orgasm. If a husband wants to find out whether his wife has one or not, the best way to do this is to try and feel for an area that’s rough, a bit like a walnut, rather than smooth and silky like the rest of the vaginal wall.

For some women, stimulation of the G-Spot creates a more intense orgasm than can be achieved through stimulation of the clitoris. But it is important to note that not all women can experience orgasm through stimulation of the G-spot.

The female G-spot is surrounded by controversies and conflicting theories. To some people, especially women who think it is essential to achieving orgasm, there is far too much evidence to deny its existence. To others, it is simply non-existent. Many women swear that it gives them an orgasm unlike any other. Some even ejaculate fluid and go into uncontrollable spasms from a G-spot orgasm. For many women, it’s a highly sensitive, highly erotic area that provides hours of pleasure. For others, it’s a twisted bit that, when touched too much, creates an overwhelming sensation of needing a wee.

There are some debates about what the G-spot actually is. Some researchers say that the G-spot is the urethral sponge, also referred to as the female prostate. The urethral sponge is a cushion of tissue that sits against the vaginal wall and surrounds the urethra. The fact that the Skene’s glands (responsible for female ejaculation) are contained in the urethral sponge supports this theory. Another line of thinking is that the G-spot is simply the back end of the clitoris. This theory is supported by the fact that the clitoral nerves extend along the vaginal walls and into the body.

The truth may be somewhere in the middle as the urethral sponge and the clitoral nerve are closely interconnected. Unless you’re a scientist, this shouldn’t even matter much anyway. In the end, all that matters is knowing how to find and stimulate the G-spot.

To give a ‘G’ spot stimulation, sex experts recommend inserting the forefinger to about the second knuckle and making a ‘come here’ motion towards the front vaginal wall. While performing this, a husband needs to experiment with pressure and length of stroke to find out what feels best for her. It’s important that she is sexually aroused first and it is also worth noting that since many ladies’ sensitivity varies throughout the month because of their cycle and hormonal variation, partners should be very observant.

During stimulation and caressing, the first sensation might be the need to want to go and wee, possibly because the G-spot is on the front wall of the bladder, so the bladder is being pushed and excited. So, before a couple engage in ‘G’ spot stimulation, the wife can check out by making sure her bladder’s empty first, then seeing how it feels. The first couple of times, it might be a bit odd, but many women say a little perseverance is more than worth it.

Do most women feel their ‘G’ spot is being stimulated during vagina penetration? Well, sometimes some do but this depends on the size and exact location of their G-spot, and it also depends on the sexual position such couples engaged in at that time, the depth of the thrusting and the firmness of the vagina. All these have a part to play, so therefore a woman may or may not be able to feel her ‘G’ spot stimulation during intercourse.

Some women say they ejaculate when their G-spot is stimulated. Research has shown that approximately 10 per cent of women expel between 9ml and 900 ml of fluid from the urethra during arousal and orgasm and that the G-spot is the equivalent of the male prostate. Remember, we’re all unique. Some female may have a sensitive G-spot or some may not.

Most women describe G-spot orgasms as deep, whole body experiences. These orgasms last much longer than clitoral orgasms and the vaginal muscles spasm and contract much more violently. Many say that G-spot orgasms are the most powerful type of orgasm and hit like rolling waves of pleasure. They are sometimes followed by a euphoric sensation that may last up to a half an hour. G-spot orgasms may cause your spouse to eject a varying amount of clear, silky fluid through her urethra. This is most commonly referred to as female ejaculation.

This week, we shall deal with the actual guides to finding and stimulating the G-spot. The emphasis is on how husbands could find and stimulate this all-important erotic zone. But first, it is important to note that sensations will be different from one person to another. Just as some women prefer a light touch on their clitoris and others enjoy firmer pressure, sensitivity to G-spot stimulation varies. Some women ejaculate during G-spot orgasm, others don’t. Some will enjoy having their G-spot stroked, while others may find it uncomfortable and irritating.

Husbands should simply experiment and find out what their wives love. It is definitely possible to give your spouse a G-spot pleasure and a good foreplay is the best prelude to achieving a good G-spot orgasm. She should feel loved, and completely comfortable with you. She will be able to fully let go and G-spot orgasms will come easier.

Husbands should make sure their hands are clean and their fingernails are clipped short, because they are going to be staying long around her most sensitive parts. Foreplay is compulsory because unlike men, who are ready to go at a moment’s notice, most women need a little bit of time to warm up to really get into the mood. In order to help your wife achieve a G-spot orgasm, you will really have to spend time on foreplay. You may start with a sensual massage with lots of oil. This will relax her and also help to build intimacy. Massage her entire body for at least 20 minutes. Try to stay away from her hot spots and amplify it by kissing her deeply and nibbling her neck, or whatever she really enjoys. Go ahead and stimulate her clitoris until she’s bucking her hips and begging for you inside of her.

Once she is turned on, then look for a comfortable position for both of you. It will help a lot if she lies on her back with her knees bent. You can kneel between her knees or sit on either side of her body. Make sure you are both comfortable. With your palm up, insert a finger or two some inches into her vagina. Slightly crook them towards you, making a “come here” motion. You should feel a spot on the front wall of her vagina that is rougher or more ridged than the surrounding area. If you are not sure, don’t worry about it too much. The G-spot will grow in size as you stimulate the area. Keep your “come here” motion gentle at first, and slowly increase the pressure as the G-spot becomes larger. When you find the pressure that she responds the best to, keep it constant. Some women may feel a slight urge to urinate during this process of stimulation. This should soon give way to an intensifying pleasure that will replace any discomfort. It may take up to half an hour of stimulation for her to reach a G-spot orgasm, but don’t worry because it is worth the while. When she has a G-spot orgasm, you’ll know. Her vagina will contract violently, so violently, in fact, that it may feel like she is trying to push your fingers out. G-spot orgasms are also accompanied by uncontrollable panting or moaning and sometimes, female ejaculation. Clitoral stimulation can produce multiple orgasms, but they are more common with G-spot stimulation. If she still wants more after the first one, continued stimulation may lead to a second, third, or even a tenth orgasm. Multiple or not, many women swear that G-spot orgasms are one of the most satisfying, fulfilling experiences of their entire lives.

Having done justice to the female G-spot, let us examine the male G-spot. I am sure you must be wondering if men also have one. Yes, they do have, men have G-spot too! The male G-spot, which can also be called the prostate gland, can be stimulated but it is not easily located. The two words prostate gland and male G-spot, which can be used interchangeably, is an erogenous spot with the power to drive men wild. Similar to a woman’s G-spot, the important nerves for erection, orgasm and ejaculation converge on the male G-spot and in the prostate and perineum areas. These areas also can provide intense and heightened pleasure, and it is also where emotional and sexual tissues are stored. Prostate stimulation can be both pleasurable and healing for a man, and can help release emotional, as well as physical stress. For many men, the stronger the stimulation to the male G-spot, the stronger and more profound orgasms they experience.

Whenever the wife wants to stimulate this area to give her husband the pleasure of this spot, all she needs to do is to just caress the base of the penis, the scrotum and the inner area of his thighs; by this the sexual pleasure will be heightened.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

When the children can tell when we are having sex

My husband loves sex very much, he is always demanding for it all the time. Though this is not a problem to me, my challenge is how we should handle our sexual activities and life that the children are not misled or tempted to do what they are not ready for since they most times see what we do or hear us from the bedroom. Our bedroom is close to theirs and certainly I am sure they know what goes on when we lock ourselves behind the door, especially when they can tell we are making love. The other day, my youngest child asked me, ‘Mummy, are you going to play with daddy again this night? Ola said anytime you do that, I am going to have a sister?’ Ola is his big brother. When I told my husband, he was so nonchalant. Please help, what do I do?

Mrs Davis Mary

Your intimacy with your spouse is as important as the love and time you spend with your children, but your sexual activities are not for public view. Though there are situations and cases when couples are forced to share and live in the same room with their children; in spite of this, you and your spouse must find a way around it. Both of you should brainstorm together to arrive at the best timing and place for your sexual activities without the interference of your children. They should be taught to respect your privacy and time together. Besides, it is also important and advisable for parents to teach their children about sexual behaviours and sexuality. If your husband is nonchalant, please handle the matter of your children’s sexuality wisely and you might be surprised that they may know far more than you think.

I am dying silently, so sex starved

If one spouse is sick for a long time, how can the marriage be helped in a way that the marriage bed would not be defiled? My husband has undergone a major surgical operation that has affected his performances; he is not even helping the situation with his attitude of not seeking for help. I am a young woman who loves sex a lot and still sexually active and sometimes I am tempted to sleep around. Whenever I bring up the idea that he should still go for help, he calls me all sorts of dirty names and even accuses me of cheating on him. What can I do? I am burning with sexual desire and frustrated of not knowing what to do. Honestly, I am dying silently, so sex starved.

Mrs. Catherin Thomas

Are you genuinely interested in seeing your husband hale and hearty again? I am so certain that if your husband knows you are sincerely interested in his healing and wellbeing, he will come round to agree to your persuasions. I would suggest you patiently and wisely show him love, put aside your needs first and make him feel loved, then when you know you have gained his trust and confidence, let him see reasons why he needs to seek for help without him feeling pressured and let him also see reasons why you also need to have sexual expression. Let him know that his erectile challenges can be cured, that he would be a man again. If you put his interest first, he would cooperate with you.

Morning sex okay or not?

Does early morning sex really do set the man okay for the day? When is the best time to have sex? Is it first thing in the morning or late at night or somewhere in between? Why do people believe good sex is all in the timing?

To be candid, sex can come up between couples at any time of the day; the only most important thing is for each spouse to note and understand their partner’s ‘sex clock.’ According to research, sex in the morning is guaranteed to put a smile on your faces because scientists have found that hormones levels are as much as five times higher in the morning, meaning in the morning, the body sends out all the right chemical signals for both spouses to be in the mood. In fact, men are most in the mood in the mornings because they notice morning erections. Some spouses are in the mood mostly in the heat of the day. This is more of a fantasy which makes them feel good and add a bit of spice that makes some more desirable and passionate. The evening is the most likely time for lovemaking; it is so convenient and is the best way to de-stress. It triggers the release of chemicals that help the body and mind to relax, and after some good rounds or sex, sleep comes naturally.

By Funmi Akingbade