Couples should learn to do their ‘serious’ talking in the bedroom! Elsewhere(in the home) seems more like where rights are dragged and defences are put up….nobody goes to any of those places to get trounced -it is usually ‘to defend my actions, argue my case,’ etc.
When people tell me they stayed up all night to talk, my next question is usually ‘where’? If the response is anywhere but the bedroom, you bet that my reaction will be ‘what happened to your bedroom? You see, the bedroom has a certain ‘union enhancing’ spirit about it. It’s very calming and when a man agrees to talk in the ‘bedroom’ with his woman-he goes there with a sole aim…to listen to her! He might also decide to throw ‘pleasuring her’ into the mix.
I have been carrying out a study of sorts on the married ones around me (coupled with my own personal experience) and my findings are gradually pointing to the fact that ‘most men don’t argue in the bedroom’…the spirit of ‘let’s get this done with and be happy again’ pervades them the moment they enter that room.
What am I saying? The ‘atmosphere’ in your home helps determine (to a large extent) how issues are handled in your relationship and that is why I advise every lady to make her home a ‘safe haven’ of sorts-minimal rancour, good decor, nice fragrance and general neatness.
If you (the man) say you want to talk to me (the woman) and you drag me to the dining table or elsewhere (besides the bedroom)-the outcome of such talks might not be so satisfactory .But if the talk is done in the bedroom (especially while we are seated or lying on the bed), we will emerge from that room with a stronger bond. On such occasions, a woman is more likely not to see most issues as a big deal-especially when other ‘bedroom activities’ would have accompanied the talk.
The bedroom visits a certain spirit on relationships and I want couples to realise this. If you have issues…don’t go talking elsewhere besides the bedroom. In fact, there should be some kind of ‘body language’ for this…if there are issues to thrash out-the partner that is compelled to initiate ‘the talk’ should simply head to the bedroom, the other partner is advised to abandon whatever he/she is doing, join the spouse in the bedroom with an ‘I am listening’ attitude. And if you are saddled with one who does not pay attention to body languages, you can also let them know your intentions by simply saying ‘can we talk.’
If your partner is the type that drops it like it’s hot -please start heading to the bedroom when they start their ‘drama.’ They will get the cue and act accordingly. I don’t know about you but I think it’s sexy when a man says to his ranting woman ‘can we talk about this in the bedroom, please.’ If you succeed in leading her to the bedroom, the atmosphere in your home will be less tensed as you emerge from there, because the spirit of the bedroom (which is calmness) would have pervaded.
Couples that go to the bedroom only to fight-should be prayed for frankly, because it is a sure sign that such a union is unhealthy. There are very few marital ices that a ‘frank bedroom talk’ cannot thaw. Ever wondered why it matters when someone is said to have a ‘bedroom voice’ or why some of us get affected by such voices? And it never occurred to you that the bedroom (itself) has more powers?
By CHUKWUNETA OBY
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