I received countless calls and text messages as regards the last edition of your weekly tonic with the above headline. The fact still remains that couple’s sexuality is simply a part of the fabric of living and if couples are not expressing themselves sexually to the maximum, they are not living life to the fullest. Sex stimulates spouses physically and mentally, it makes them healthier. It is a terrific exercise that relieves stress and enhances sleep. It creates feelings of intimacy. Sex is just too good, clean, delicious and fun. I tell couples who think hot sex is somehow beyond their reach, especially during this festival period, to think again.
A fantastic sex life begins with powerful preparations, thoughts and attitudes towards sex. It is not only within the power of the spouses to have satisfying hot sex, it is the responsibilities of both spouses. A spouse should not wait for the other partner to turn them on; turn your partner on. The more active a spouse is in giving and seeking pleasure, the more he or she thinks about sex and the more a partner thinks about sex, the sexier he or she feels, and the sexier you feel, the better sex will be for you both.
Let your imagination run wild; savour every moment. Wife sucking on her husband’s finger or sucking her finger seductively just in front of him is an entrance to teasing him before the ‘show’ begins. Finger sucking gives you an exhilarating, exciting and ‘be-in-the-mood’ feeling. Fingers are extremely sensitive and the sensation of having it inside a lover’s mouth delivers a warm, soft thrill, and mind you, it is not anti-African at all. Open mouth French kiss is far sexier than close-lipped peck. Let your husband enjoy the feeling of your hot breath and wet tongue against his skin.
Pay attention to those seldom-appreciated areas; take your husband’s nipples each one between your teeth for a gentle bite. Men’s nipples are not as sensitive as a woman’s, but they still get erect when licked, kissed and bitten. The flesh in-between the penis and the scrotum should be licked as if you are licking an ice cream. The feeling of fingertips, lips or tongue in these sensitive areas will shoot tiny shivers of hot pleasure up the man’s spine. A man’s back is very sensitive; it responds well to erotic stimulation. Place lots of lubricant in your palms and rub the back..
Each time you make love as a couple, let there be an intense connection. For instance, the husband could take control of the action before the time of actual thrusting by cradling the wife’s head in his hands and whispering affectionate nothings into her ears. This is a sure access into a rapturous pleasure. Wife at this stage, you should wrap your arms and legs around your husband’s body and pull him closer to you for deep penetration. Make sure you match the rhythm of each thrusting with a corresponding lifting of your pelvic with his and letting out some stimulating sounds, moaning and seductive sexy language. Holding hands during sex is fantastic. Grasping your spouse’s hands is also a romantic way for you to provide added support and balance when he or she is moving up and down on top of you.
Encourage your wife to straddle you on the edge of the bed and give her neck, breast and nipple plenty of loving attention while her vagina has completely encapsulated your penis as she moves on top of you. This move is guaranteed to momentarily take off her breath. Encouraging your wife to put up a show with her breasts by telling her how striking and sexy they are and how much you love watching them move, dance, fly and feeling them against your body is an ego booster to many wives.
Husband, one of the greatest sex escapades this festive period is to allow your wife to take the lead whenever she is on top of you and follow her lead. When she moves down on you firmly to achieve deeper penetration, thrust up slightly and when she is moving quickly or intermittently, stay still and let her have her way. This instruction is particularly good for the small penis husbands whose organ is so small or shrinks and it slips off with this type of posture. Aside from this, small or shrinking penis men can use the herbs from China to correct the smallness and the shrinking. For details, call me.
The wife should also keep her body upright to make sure she is not bending the penis in an uncomfortable manner. Just move up and down, with an occasional side-to-side wiggle. Squatting also allows for a greater range of up and down motion. Try rotating your hips in a small circle or moving very slowly from side to side as you raise and lower yourself unto your husband.
Climb on your husband as he sits in a chair; let your legs fall comfortably on either side of his body and grab the back of the chair, using the chair to rock your body back and forth. Sit in such a way to create friction between your clitoris and his abdomen, and simultaneously move his penis inside your vagina. This is not only erotic, terrific, invigorating, exquisite and fabulous but it gives room for a full frontal seduction. This makes you as the wife to feel incredibly sexy and this position is fantastic for inducing hot orgasm. Your husband’s penis should always all the time be given undivided attention. Please wife, do not let a day pass without playing with his penis unless on doctor’s order. Do not nurse the idea that the penis can wear out with either too much sex, or blow job or foreplay. The reverse is the case; in fact, according to researchers, the human penis is more revitalised, energetic, stronger, activated and ecstatic when put to daily use. So, make a ring with your thumb and index finger and slid it up and down over the head and the very top of the shaft, these are the most sensitive parts of the penis. Wrap your entire hand around the penis for a fuller, slightly less intense yet equally enjoyable sensation. This twisting motion can be very erotic, revitalising, fulfilling and passionate that it can lead to premature ejaculation. As I always encourage, what most wives want in bed is a husband who knows how to control the timing of his ejaculation while the penis is on ‘fire and torture,’ so that both spouses will get the maximum pleasure from sex. Cure your weak erection and regain your sexual self-confidence to be able to satisfy your wife in bed any time! Do all you can to get a full erectile dysfunction massaging; this massaging sometimes eliminates that premature ejaculation, makes you last longer.
Many husbands enjoy having their prostate gland stimulated during sexual encounter or otherwise gentle caress with the wife’s tongue. I will encourage the wife to carefully locate the area of the skin directly behind her husband’s testicles and push upward with the pads of her fingers or her tongue. In fact, tugging gently on the skin between the testicles can release some extra ‘oomph’ ‘hmmm’ ‘yesssss’ ‘thank youu’ with eyes closed. The point here is that many wives shy away from this but this is what these men secretly want. This is what makes many of the husbands out there go after dirty smelling call girls and even pay heavily for what the wife can give in overdose. So start off, stimulate the penis from top to bottom with both fists, descending one after the other, so that instead of an up-and-down motion, there is a continual downward stroke. This is enjoyable and glorious, because some nerves surrounding that area are actively sending erotic signals to the base of the penis. Create a ring around the base of the penis with the thumb and index finger of one hand. Hold it there, squeezing gently, while stroking the rest of the penis with the other hand. This helps to engorge the penis and make ejaculation a full calming, peaceful, reassuring force. There is a way a wife will go about this that I am afraid some husbands can really take more weeks off even after the Xmas holiday is over.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
What is the way out?
I am a man of 48 years and before I got married 10 years ago, I was very active sexually. As a matter of fact, that was the primary reason my wife chose to marry me. But just last year, my libido for sex dropped so drastically and up till now, we don’t make love more than once in two months. My wife complains bitterly and I know the fault is mine. I have been much stressed lately although the doctor said I am fit for sex but the truth of the matter is, nothing moves me anymore with my wife. I tried to see if its the same with other women but to my amazement, I went two rounds non-stop with them. I love my wife, please what is the way out?
Sola from Banana Island
Frankly speaking, your libido is down and what may have affected it may be the issue you had with stress and the medications you were given. If in those medications there were some steroids, such may also have affected your libido to a certain degree. But the illusion that you went after another woman and you had a sex-filled day is also going to be a temporary thing after a while. Because one, you are in your midlife years (group) and at this stage, there is a tendency to have sexual crises and challenges that usually affect some men. If you stayed for another year or so with this other lady, the issue of your low libido will still come up as a result of the midlife crisis and the remnant of the steroid in your system. Primarily at this age, there may be a need for you to have your P. S .A. Prostate Specific Antigen test and some other prostrate tests done. These help to state the conditions of your prostrate which may be the reason for your low libido. Besides, as a man ages, the prostrate enlarges and functions less and less. So keep your marriage.
Embarrassing itching
There is this itchy rash in my groin that has spread to my inner thighs and my scrotum and it has refused to go in spite of all treatment. Is it a Sexually transmitted disease? As soon as my girl- friends see it, they take to their heels. It is so embarrassing.
Suleiman Ibrahim, Kano
Jock itch is the popular name given to an itchy rash in the groin that commonly involves the inner thighs and adjacent skin, including the scrotum in males. This itching is associated with sweating, friction/abrasion. The rash may affect not only the groin, but it can involve any area of the skin that overlap, including around the anus and in the skin folds of obese men and women. Make sure you expose the area to fresh air, wear loose clothing and try to reduce your weight and control excessive sweating.
What advice do you have for the widows?
Dear Funmi, I feel jealous each time I read your piece for the married where you dish out lots and lots of tips for them. Has it ever occurred to you that there are many of us that are widows and read your column? Don’t you know blood runs in our veins? What do you expect us to do? Should we have sex with our room furniture? Is there not a way that we can be sorted out?
An aggrieved widow
Hmmm, as a widow, it is true that your sexual needs need to be met because you are a sexual being; you had been sexually active before now but stopped. However, a widow is not exempted from still enjoying passionate and erotic sexual pleasure if he or she so wishes. All I would advise is for you to wait patiently and be remarried again to someone that will not only love you but must also have been sexually over-starved; someone who knows and values the importance of sex in marriage. Because if you remarry and the fellow you are married to does not value sex, you will still go back to the same state of jealousy, denials and starvation. However, if you are way far into your 70s, I think it will be healthy if you stop reading this column because you might as well be punishing yourself unduly.
We are not well matched in shape
Madam, are there no basic sexual positions that couples can engage in for ultimate satisfaction? I am tired of all those sex position guides that sound like they are meant for super models. My wife and I are not uniquely matched in a way that makes some of the standard sexual positions extremely difficult; she is extremely tall and skinny while I am very short and hefty.
Lukmon Saheed
Weight, height flexibility, special abilities, physical disabilities, penis size, vaginal depth, different body types and sizes make spouses to force their partners into a position in which they are not comfortable. Rather, it is advisable to vary positions through sex to help keep the muscles from straining or cramping up. For instance, if you’re very tall and your wife is too short, aside from the basic missionary position, try standing on the stairs or having her sit on something taller than a chair, like the kitchen counter, a set of dressing drawers, or the back of the couch. If she likes sex from behind, she can stand and bend over something, resting her hips on the arm of a chair or her hands on the seat. From this position, you should have a lot of downward leverage with which to thrust, giving you a chance to angle in different directions for a number of different kinds of stimulation, including the possibility of some serious g-spot contact. Now if she is the tall one, doggie style sex is really great with short husbands, because you can get down very low onto the bed and she can use her own leverage to thrust against you.
If the husband is a bit on the heavy side, women on top will solve the problem. She can hold on to your knees for leverage and support and grind her clitoris against your thighs and pubic bone without putting any pressure on your chest. But if it is the wife that is heavy big and huge and you appear to be skinny, nothing to worry about. Thin husbands tend to have larger penis, mostly because they have fewer layers of fat padding the base and tend to be in fitter cardiovascular health as well, allowing them to go longer and with greater stamina. So start off with the missionary position style and its different variations. If you have a shorter penis, or she is ovulating, bring her legs up higher to get deeper. If you are large or her vaginal canal is shallow, keep her legs low to help prevent bumping her cervix too hard..
By Fumi Akingbade
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