The truth still remains that when you’re with the right person, sex is always a blast. As much as sex is a human need, it has been researched that until both married couple work together to satisfy each other and explore possibilities of newness and creativity, sex between two people may not be that fantastic. One of the greatest propellers of an incredible sex is when both partners are extremely comfortable with each other. And once you’re really comfortable, you can find ways to spice things up. But it has been observed that in a typical African setting, many couples end up extremely caught up with loads of activities and before you know it, the best part of their lives has been spent taking care of every other person but themselves. This subtly creates lack of intimacy required for a healthy sexual relationship.
However, extending all possibilities and making use of every available surrounding can provide spontaneous sexual encounters and compensate for lack of time. For instance, partners can make it a habit to cuddle each time they are together; cuddling is all about mood and ambiance which does not require any time allocation. It’s peaceful to lie in someone’s arms in the dark with great music or even the low buzz of the TV in the background. It’s so nice to hear nothing but your lover’s breath against the backdrop of the evening or early morning.
Holding someone close in bed also makes you feel very secure with one another and the relationship, though it is not a bad idea for married couples to have separate rooms for logistic reason, it is a brilliant, exceptional and superb idea to share a common room; it is not only healthy but comforting. Falling asleep together is very romantic, and it’s amazing to fall asleep in your lover’s arms.
There are times when couples accidentally bump into each other. Make use of that opportunity to quickly caress yourselves in a suggestive sensual and sexy style, or while dining together, gently slip your hands into the private part of your spouse under the dining table; you will be amazed to see the extent of the effect on the union. As a matter of fact, it recreates and rekindles sexual awareness for many couples.
If sex often feels like a race to orgasm for lack of time and opportunity, talk a little; massage each other’s neck, shoulder, back, feet or any uncommon area in the body of your mate. You both can consider taking some time out to catch your breath, reconnect and relax. Eat some mints, kiss each other with the taste of mints and feel the energy of each other’s breath. Lie back and let your level of arousal fall considerably and like a volcano rise again.
Using of hands can help couples go all the way because the hand is one of the crucial skills of getting it on. From the moment you start cuddling, you should already be erotically grasping your spouse’s hips, stroking their arms, back or tight, or sliding your fingers around the breast.
From caressing to grabbing to slight tingling; there are countless ways you can increase the pleasure of any giving moment by getting your hands involved. There are many spouses that had helped their partner to orgasm just by simply being skillful with their fingers via manual stimulation.
Besides, manual stimulation helps the receiving partner to enjoy every bit of the action while the giving partner closely watches with high arousal longings.
Many times, husbands do not know what to do to get their wives to their sexual peak; why not try manual simulation of their clitoris. Manual simulation is incredibly important for women. To have an orgasm, some of them, if not most of them, need a little more of clitoral contact than intercourse.
All you have to do during sex as the man is at intervals reach down and rub her clitoris whenever possible and you are guaranteed to increase her chances of having orgasm regardless of her level of circumcision or drop of libido. For some women, manual stimulation is the only way they can connect and appreciate sex with their husbands. Doing this is not something many men know how to carry out, but it is something they have to learn; sexual act is a learning act. Make sure that the vagina is wet enough and handle the area very gently to avoid hurting her. And lastly, never try to insert a finger into a dry vagina.
While husbands are busy on the clitoris, the wives can comfortably find a way of performing an unforgettable blow job on the penis of their husbands. No husband runs away from a seductively performed blow job. Many husbands crave for it; they want to experience it on a regular basis. They look out for it like a well-prepared dish of assorted delicacies.
I also want wives to know that no husband would want to remain obstinate being aware of the extra packaging that comes along with well-arranged sex. The aroma of a hygienic, sparkling, fresh, dirt-free, vagina fluid is one of the erotic sexual staying on power and tip-offs for many husbands. So, keep your vagina inviting, captivating, appealing, tempting and enticing always.
Husbands, the woman’s surest gateway to a good sex is through 100 per cent carefulness and tenderness. When you ignore it, you are cutting real first-class sex out of the relationship. And what most wives want in bed is a man who is not clumsy and at the same time, who knows how to control the timing of his ejaculation while love play is on, so that both spouses will get the maximum pleasure from sex.
The longer a husband lasts, the deeper his climax, the sweeter the sex for his wife.
This is simply because wives often need to feel close before feeling sexual whereas husbands often need to be sexual to feel close. Besides, 87 per cent of women do not climax through penetrative sex alone.
Most women need some form of extra stimulus, massaging and clitoral caresses. All these help to build a woman’s excitement level before thrusting, and prevent clumsiness because the average woman needs around 20 to 28 minutes of connection.
One major reason many wives are not active sexually is because their anticipated sexual escapade and thrill is frustrated, cut short and curtailed by their husbands’ inability to control their ejaculation timing. If there is anything that is most clumsy for women, it is this singular act.
Remarkably, this can easily be achieved; it is so easy to develop complete self-control to the extent that any husband can actually choose when to ejaculate during sex: and when you have this level of control, your sexual self-confidence will be so high that you can confidently satisfy your wife in bed any time!
Most wives love the inner part of their vagina being caressed with their husband’s finger; so for a supercharged experience, experts recommend the ‘fingering of the vagina or sucking of the nipple [around one per cent of women can reach orgasm from breast stimulation alone] and the clitoris which can keep your wife moaning with delight! The husband should fondle his wife’s labia for at least five minutes before touching her clitoris.
So, while caressing your wife, it must not be done clumsily in a rush, it is advisable for the wife to take a comfortable position with legs wide apart so that her husband will be able to gently play with her genitals.
Sometimes, just touching a wife’s breast is enough to bring her to orgasm while other women are almost totally unresponsive. Therefore, husband, if your wife seems indifferent to your advances, there’s no point insisting; far better, to try to discover her other erogenous zones. In addition, wives do not feel guilty if you do not enjoy breast play. Remember it is not unusual and things can change.
Breasts should be handled with care for guaranteed pleasure, majority of wives love having their breasts fondled. However, there is one important rule: be gentle and handle them with care. Only few wives enjoy having their breasts pinched, or manhandled.
Questions!!! Answers!!!
Can’t explain precisely what my wife wants
Can you kindly explain the science of a female desire linked to her breast? I am clueless about how to satisfy my wife’s fantasies; she only gets aroused sexually when I only stimulate her breast. To her, I should treat her breast in a special way but all my efforts have amounted to a rigid, stony being on bed. How do I get her into the mood? Do you have an idea of how to give her breast a special treat? She is really busty anyway.
Nurudeen Oba
First and foremost, you have to mentally register her breast as one of your ‘turn-ons.’ Once in a while, deliberately let your eyes wander around her breast and before you know it, you will begin to discover how absolutely gorgeous those breasts are. Make it a habit to be fascinated with her breast each time she lifts her shirt over her head and watch as her large breasts bounce whenever she moves around. You will have realised that sometimes, you will notice a hard on by just looking at her breasts. It will really become a turn-on. During time for lovemaking, make sure your eyes roam on her breasts. Encourage her to laugh as this will make her breast to jiggle. Learn how to undo the hook of a brassiere in a very seductive manner, allowing her bra to hang loose over her large breasts; this will make the nipples hard, standing at attention and begging to be sucked. At such moment, take each one of them in your mouth and suck gently. What you will notice is that your wife will immediately throw her head back and groan softly, then let out a cry of pleasure and invariably collapse in pleasure. At this point, you have given her breast a good treat which will make her satisfy you also. When it comes to the craving for sexual variety, researchers have discovered that women want sex just as much as men do, but men do not take out quality time to locate their hot spots.
My husband is an ex-hardcore sex worker
With my husband, sex irritates me big time; I don’t even enjoy it anymore all because my husband is an ex-hardcore sex worker. Each time we are making love, my husband must scream so hard, say some dirty languages. As a matter of fact, he is so obsessed with dirty talks and the worst of it all is that he mentions some strange names that make me think promiscuity just runs in his veins. If sex is not in agenda, my husband is a nice, kind-hearted person, but as soon as it’s time for sex, I feel like an ‘ileya’ ram going to be slaughtered.’ This looks like a sex prison to me, please help.
Mamiska Itanda
Have you ever sat your husband down and really had a heart to heart discussion about this? If no, you just have to summon courage and nicely share your fears with him. While discussing with him, let him know that mentioning names of ex sex partners is a height of low respect for you, that you deserve some respect as the legal wife. On the other hand, I need you to know that to some spouses, screaming is sexy but many of such spouses do not realize that screaming can only be sexy if their partner is also a screamer. Most of the time, partners could get turned off when their ear drums are getting ready to explode. For hard core sex workers, either an ex or a current one, they have formed a habit and they just have to deliberately work to change if it is offensive to their partner. Besides, the neighbors may hear you! Same precaution goes for obsessive dirty talk.
My wife is behaving funny
I’m just recovering from stroke and I am grateful to God, I am quite fit now to walk around and do some of my normal daily activities, but I have one big problem- my wife. She wants us to keep having sex as before or at least close to it. She said it will not harm me, but I don’t buy into this and since then, she has been behaving funny. What do you think?
Daddy Joe
After a heart attack, some men and women fear that any type of sexual activity will provoke another one. People feel that if they›ve had a heart attack, it›s not a good idea to stress their bodies with sexual activity. But less than one per cent of heart attacks could reoccur from having sex. It makes sense to think of sex as a form of exercise: If your doctor clears you for physical activity, you›re also likely safe for sex.
Changing Positions
Funmi, when going from missionary to woman-on-top, how do we maneuver the switch while keeping my husband’s penis inside me? Whenever we try this, my husband’s penis just pops out.
Mrs. Monday
I am sure most couples marvel at the expertise of most of the sex actors and wonder when such can be a reality in their home. However, the truth of the matter is sex is not always as flawless and faultless as presented. People knock heads, are twisted up in the sheets and, for a moment get disengaged. It can be awkward to change positions in one smooth moment; most couples stop and reconnect.
However, to give the flawless sex, start with missionary position close to the edge of the left side of the bed. Keeping your right leg straight, wrap your left leg around your husband’s waist and hook your left arm under his shoulder. Pushing off with your right arm, keep a firm grip on your husband as you roll him onto his back toward the right side of the bed in one sweeping motion. If he slips out, stick him back in and resume your captivating section.
Help, we have a fairy-tale sex goal that is destroying our sex life
Please, how attainable is simultaneous orgasm? My husband said this should be our next sexual goal, but I think it is more of a fantasy than a reality. He expects that anytime we are making love; besides, he is hyper active, I can’t even match his speed. How can l be helped?
Mrs Deborah
The myth that simultaneous orgasm is the epitome of sexual fulfillment is based on a number of false assumptions. First, it assumes that married couple gets aroused and then responds at the same pace. That is highly unlikely. Second, it assumes that goal-oriented sex is more fulfilling than pleasure-oriented sex. On the contrary, goal-oriented sex can interfere with fulfillment by introducing demand, anxiety, and often a feeling of failure, all of which hinder the body’s natural response mechanism. Just tell your husband that if he does not expect this to happen by all means, you will be the best on sex bed. Instead, keep kissing passionately, every day. Kissing is the barometer of the state of your sexual relationship. Sometimes I wonder if wives really understand how intense their husband’s sex drive is or how intrinsic a man’s sexual fulfillment is to his self-acceptance. Remember, men and women are different. If wives have their husbands’ testosterone levels, they’d be a lot more interested in sex. Try and keep up with him, you will soon meet up. By Funmi Akingbade
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