Can you imagine! My husband of 18 years arrogantly declared to me last week that he has been having the best of sex lately with a younger woman, in spite of the fact that I give in whenever he wants it. Men are animals,” said Nimi, my childhood friend on the phone. My next question after calming her down was, ‘Have you ever initiated sex since you have been married to this man?’ Her answer, ‘No! Why? I am the wife, must I initiate it as if sex is food? Besides he should be the one chasing me, not the other way round and you know these men, there is a way they look at you if you ask for sex. I don’t want him to start feeling I am an ‘asawo.’’
Well, my friend’s statement says it all. When it comes to sexual intimacy and innovation, many wives are rated zero in performance and creativity. I tell wives that the era and age we are now demands wives to be sexually current, relevant and equipped, armed, fortified, furnished and prepared with facts. The simple truth is wives, you just have to be creatively aggressive. Husbands who often initiate and lead through sex get discouraged over time. Research shows that many husbands eventually resent being the ones who always initiate sex. However, as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Top sex experts say that a wife makes plenty of sex mistakes that affect the ego of the man such as not initiating sex, or assuming sex is casual for a man, or believing their husbands are always up for sex and getting upset when they suggest something new on bed. As a matter of fact, some wives count numbers of time their husbands have sex, leaving the husbands to wonder why should their wives count sex and why they can’t just enjoy it as many times as possible? What is the basis for counting times of sexual oneness, if they really look up to sex with their husbands? The truth of the matter is counting times of sex makes some husbands go for ladies who would always welcome their demands without counting.
Tell him how much you want him. Some wives just assume that their husbands should know that. No! But when you verbally say such in a very respectable way, no younger girls can beat you to that. As a wife, you probably know how much you want and need the appreciation and approval of your man emotionally. What you may be less conscious of is the fact that he wants to feel desirable and competent. This boosts his ego and sexuality. Telling him that you want him, that you find him sexy and admiring his achievements, even if they are small ones will make him feel powerful.Most times, the husbands want their wives to take the lead and be sexually assertive. If you are not sure how to do this, start by just climbing on top of him and undress in front of him; use your hand to scoop your two breasts in an inviting way and ask him to come suck. He will like it if you undress while watching him with a tantalizing glint in your eyes, the promise of what has to come is made clear. In one survey in a journal, watching their wives undress came second after vaginal intercourse in a list of husbands’ favourite sexual stimulations. With the help of some high quality, pretty, sexy, tastefully colourful underwear, please go ahead, seduce and lure your man.
Ask him what he wants from you sexually, encourage him to be honest in revealing his fantasies. Men are born with fantasies regardless of their status and titles. Make sure that you do not laugh because you think his demands are ridiculous. If he trusts you with his innermost unspoken thoughts and feelings, they are deserving of your respect, no matter how ‘demanding’ they may seem to you. Acting out their fantasies can be immensely stimulating, erotic and exciting, so be a wanton wife for the night. Since men so often fantasise about a completely uninhibited sexual experience with their wives, maybe you can turn a bit of their fantasy into reality.
I still have a very clear memory of one of the nights I instructed one wife who was part of the cruise to Spain to wear an elegant evening dress at the dinner party. I told her to whisper to her husband while the party was on that she was not wearing any underwear and her vagina was dripping wet for him. When she was giving me the testimony of the after effect, she said ‘My husband’s penis responded instantly and by the end of the evening, he was so aroused that we barely made it to the front door before he pinned me down to the bare floor. Since then, I have managed to surprise him in “different but similar” ways many times and he always looks forward to such.
Do not alienate him from the bedroom. As a wife and mother, you may unknowingly turn your bedroom into a day-care room, drycleaner’s workshop or storage room, but it is wise to consider the effect that an excessively unsexy sight may have on your man. The last thing you want is for him to feel that he has no place in the bedroom.
Surprisingly, many number of wives have great difficulty in overcoming their inhibitions and talking sexy and seductive during sex. Please try to do it. If you can, you would find that it has an intense effect on his arousal – and maybe on yours, too. Subtly wake him up in the night for sex, press your vulva against his body and move your hips slightly. If he wakes up gradually, he will soon get the idea. Sex in the night after a couple of hours’ sleep can be surprisingly intense. Some wives often believe that the man’s penis is a sensitive orgasm like the clitoris, so they do not use much pressure when they play with it. This is usually not very satisfying to some husbands. The man’s penis is built for a harder grip, and he will appreciate it if you treat it more firmly than your clitoris. Start with a light feathery touch grip with well-lubricated fingers; he will start making signs (like thrusting his hips, or moaning) which means he is ready for you to switch to a harder stroke to bring him to orgasm. As he nears ejaculation, your stimulation will be more satisfying when you focus on the head of his penis rather than anywhere else. At times, some men with premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and early stage of impotency or low libido may find it challenging to enjoy these varieties of sex, they should kindly see me for help.
You can also gently roll his testicles around and between your fingers inside the skin of the scrotum; take them one at a time into your mouth and as he gets more aroused, try squeezing them a little more firmly. Many couples think that deep thrusting is sexier, however, shallow thrusts also stimulate men’s glans and frenulum, which are the most sensitive bits of his penis, and they also have the advantage of tickling the wife’s’ G-spot. So alternate shallow and deep thrusts during vaginal intercourse.
If he is standing, letting him have real sex in between your breasts can be exciting. Encourage this by kneeling in front of him and encircle his erect penis with your breasts. Then let him thrust at his will though you will need some lubrication here to prevent friction and soreness. Watch the expression of ecstasy on his face when he is at the verge of orgasm and while he is actually climaxing. The expression is heavenly, and you will know how much pleasure this can give him – especially if it is a new act in your sexual selection tips!
By next week we shall be revealing men and women’s most desired sexual positions. For now, keep your sex passion aflame and until I see you next week, I remain your devoted and loyal bedroom instructor. Meanwhile, wives should not forget to stop counting the numbers of time their husbands have sex with them as this leads to infidelity.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWER
My second wife is threatening to go
My foreskin is too tight and painful; it makes me ejaculate prematurely. I lost my first wife because of this, now my second wife is threatening to leave me. Is there hope for a man like me?
Bashiru Saidi from Kastina
When the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis does not retract back over the glans, this is called phimosis, which can make sex very uncomfortable. Most times, it is so impossible to clean under the glans and so, the dirt that builds up usually lead to infection. In fact, the tightness of the foreskin normally leads to considerable discomfort when the penis is erect which leads to premature or weak ejaculation.
In either case, the foreskin opening is made of normal skin but it is not elastic enough to stretch and allow the glans of the penis through the opening when the foreskin is pulled backwards. Another cause of phimosis is due to scar formation by the remaining adhesions between the glans and foreskin and also untreated sexually transmitted disease. You need a medical attention because no woman wants to hear unattainable excuses. Moreover, since no man wants to be considered a second rate lover, even though that is how many women think of a man who ejaculates within a few minutes of penetration. Whether you lose your erection occasionally, or it happens on many occasions when you want to enjoy sex, there is no need to feel down about it. You can permanent solution to premature ejaculation, get 36-hours-of-freedom (Cialis) or the herbs from Vietnam.
Don’t enjoy sex with condom
Sex with condom makes me to lose sensitivity and the pleasure of sex but for now, that is the best family planning method we love to use. Do you have any advice for us as a young couple?
Oputa Godey
You can turn a ribbed condom inside out, so the ribbed bits rub against your penis. This apparently can provide you with extra pleasure. On the other hand, you can put some lubrication inside the condom. Sounds outrageous, but it can make a great deal of difference to a man’s experience of sex, and go a long way to overcoming the old complaint that sex with a condom causes loss of sensitivity and pleasure. A word of warning, though: if you use too much lubrication inside a condom, it may slip off. Alternatively, you ca use the delay condom type. You can call for more enquiries on the types of condom and lubricants that is ideal for this.
How do I improve quality of my sperm?
What can I do to improve the quality of my sperm? And what time of day is best to check my testosterone level?
Mr. Kaycee Onohumasu
The great thing about sperm health is that it is directly related to the health of your body. So, eating a healthy, balanced diet, exercising and allowing sunshine every day on your skin, avoiding bad social habits, alcohol, tobacco and other drugs, all of those things have impact on your general health and sperm health. If you’re obese, you’re going to have problems with your hormones and other issues. If you’ve got high blood pressure that’s not controlled or maintained, if you have thyroid disorders, if you have self-abusive habits, all of those things have a big impact on your general health and they also have impact on your sperm health. For men, the best time to check your level of testosterone is probably late morning, sometimes around 8am to 10am. That’s when it peaks. Although there’s normal fluctuation in the testosterone throughout the day, usually morning is one of them, which is why men’s libido and sex drive tend to be higher in the morning when their testosterone levels are higher.
I have lost erection
I have this issue that is giving me terrible concern. Each time we are having sex, my wife always wants me to penetrate deeply but I have noticed that each time I do that, I always hear a crack as if something has broken and now, I’ve lost my erection.
New husband
Probably what occurred is what’s called a penile fracture. It really isn’t a break as such. But there are two chambers within the penis that hold the blood, the Corpora Cavernosa. And it’s a very thin-walled structure that becomes much distended, very tense, and that’s where the rigidity of the erection occurs. In certain rare circumstances, the torqueing, the stretch on that is enough to pop and crack one of those chambers. Naturally you will experience severe, excruciating pain, sudden disappearance of the erection, horrible pain with blood. The penis will become purple. If the pain is not much, all you need is a time off from sex and take things easy. And as time goes on, you should be fine. But if the pain is unbearable, you might likely go to the hospital. The major risk of this may be the scar from the healing of the tear and the blood, you can end up with penile curvature and even permanent impotence. The good news is it’s fairly rare, almost always occurs in very aggressive wild sex, usually women on top. What happens is the penis comes out of the vaginal vault and then goes back in and misses, hits the pubic bone in the woman and that’s enough to force it and pop it. So what you may likely be experiencing is over stress penetrative activities. I would suggest you calm down a little bit.
I produce less fluid
I am over forty and notice that I produce less fluid while ejaculating. Should I worry if I am producing less ejaculation?
Mr Voltric James
Men of all categories seem to be obsessed with themselves when it comes to sexual performance. Ejaculatory volume and force seem to be something that they’re very proud of and as men get older, there are changes going on within the prostate gland and the volume of actual fluid can decrease. And the intensity and experience can change. When you are physically fit, there is a possibility that you will still feel the same, the orgasm is unchanged, but there will be less volume and less force to it and that just is part of natural ageing. It also has to do with stress, fatigue, frequency of ejaculation, intensity of ejaculation; all of those factors play into what you are experiencing.
bY Funmi Akingbade
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